Alan,
I'm not really too sure what to say to you. You know that I'm not mad, even after what you did. You know how much I love you. You should hear the crap that's going around school. It's pretty funny actually. I even heard a rumor the other day that you killed a man. That one made me laugh. So what's it like there at Camp Green Lake? How are your friends? Or are you just a loser without any? That was a joke by the way. Nothing really has happened back home, other than a couple of things. I guess I can just tell you the good ones.
First, your stupid best friend Mike broke his nose and a few other things. He decided that he wanted to start to learn how to skateboard and we went to Central Park for a while. I nearly pissed my pants when he fell on his face. He kept practicing though and now, two months later, he has a sponsor and he's making tons of money from it. He told me that when you come back he is gonna let you move in with him because he can afford his own place now.
And second, I got that scholarship to NYU. I FUCKIN GOT IT. And this means that I can get a job finally. Just imagine when you come back and finish senior year and you can finally get a job. Then we can finally get out of this hell hole of a city and go live on our own somewhere like we talked about.
I don't want you to get your ass kicked for getting a letter from your girlfriend, so I'll stop now.
I love you,
Emily
She kissed the envelope once before sliding it into the large blue mailbox to be sent off to Texas.
Emily,
I'm not really surprised that Mike broke his face. I was kind of expecting him to hurt himself somehow while I'm gone. By the way, good job with the college thing, you don't know how proud of you I am. You're doing something with yourself other than fucking up like me. But you know what? You're the reason I'm going to come back and do something with myself. I promised you that one day we were gonna get married and live somewhere else, out of New York like you want it. We can be away from our families and everyone who makes our lives hell right now. We only have each other baby.
And yeah, I got friends. They're pretty different. We all got nicknames for each other here, they call me Squid. You wanna know why? Because when I got here I still had that drawing on my hand that you did, of that octopus that you called the love fish. Thanks… It's a lot better than some other of the guys here, one of them is named Armpit. There used to be a guy named Barfbag, but he got bit by a rattlesnake and everyone thinks' he died.
Why won't you tell me what bad things happened?
One more week,
Squid
Squidward,
Why would you want to know bad things? That's so like you….but I love you anyway. Well, my goldfish died. How's that? I don't know if you're going to get this in time because you're coming home in about two days but I miss you. What's the first thing you're going to do when you get back?
Love you,
Emily
Emily,
Sally died!? I'm about to go pack all my stuff to come home. And the stuff I want to do when I get back?
Take a five hour long shower, eat anything I can get my hands on, sleep for a few days, then have another one of our horror movie nights. But before all of that I just want to see you. You probably won't want to come near me because I smell like donkey shit.
I love you,
Squidward