A/N: Here's my second parody, this time of "Art of the Dress" from "Suited for Success". This one focuses a little more on the song instead of the story. (I know somebody already made "Art of the Fic", but I wanted to make my own version.)
Purple Prose, now with some fanfiction-writing experience under her belt, was sitting at her computer, typing some drafts for some new stories.
Line by line, typing it together
Friendship fic, thinking up the plotline bit by bit
Making sure the story flows nicely
It's the perfect setting, isn't it?
Always gotta keep in mind my pacing
Making sure it's neither slow nor racing
I'm writing friendship fic
Page by page, fussing on the details
Large and fine, don't you know an outline saves you time?
Make them something perfect to inspire
Even if the ending draws their ire
Gotta mind those intimate details
I don't want the storyline to fail
It's tragedy's new fic
Purple Prose looked over her outlines.
Writing's so easy, for horror fic something dark
Comedy, something breezy
Blend style and prose, do you think it's too cheesy?
She looked at Hawthorne, her pet parrot; he had no comment.
Something sweet, perhaps heartwarming
Feelings fly, there won't be an eye that's dry!
Making sure their personalities
Are similar to canon, if you please
Even though it's one long-lasting crush
Romance never should be rushed
I'm writing romance fic
Sentences, paragraphs
Tears and fears, cheers and laughs
Line by line, click by click
Page by page, never ticked
And that's the art of the fic!
Purple Prose looked at her work, feeling satisfied. She had asked her friends to come over later and look over her stories.
Hopefully, they would give good advice.
Spellcheck (a green unicorn with a frizzy red mane and tail) looked at Purple Prose. "Now, your descriptions of the characters should be as accurate as possible. The Mermare Queen's coat is aquamarine, not light blue."
Purple Prose shrugged and continued working.
Word by word, typing it together
Readers wait, don't you know that their advice is sage?
Even if my style choice was perfect
Gotta do it right or else they'll rage
She looked at her friend Error Message, who was holding up a list of her own ideas.
Listen, those ideas are outlandish
Wait until you see them on the page
I'm typing them together
Error Message (a grey earth pony with a dark blue mane and tail) hopped around Purple Prose. "Don't you think my OC would be more awesome as an alicorn princess?"
"Well, I-"
"Paired with the cutest stallion in the cast?"
"Well..."
"Do it!"
Hour by hour, one more change
I'm typing them together, take great pains
You reviewers are putting me in a bind
Please tell me, what is on your mind?
Oh my gosh, there's simply not much time
Don't forget, all of these fics must shine!
Writing's so easy, every reader's review
Brings a whole new revision
Have to pick up the pace, still hold to my vision
"Blazing Hooves' mane is red-orange, not just red," Spellcheck pointed out.
Suddenly, Mouse Pointer (a white pegasus with a black mane in pigtails and a black tail) flew in front of Purple Prose. "I'd like a really theatrical tragedy...please?"
Purple Prose faltered. "Uh..."
Later on, Screensaver (a brown earth pony with a white mane and tail) was looking over one of Purple Prose's fics.
"What if the readers get bored?" she asked. "How about a romance subplot?"
Purple Prose wasn't sure what to say to that; after all, she didn't think romance subplots were a regular part of psychological horror stories.
Purple Prose frantically typed as Error Message kept making suggestions.
"More vampires! Oh no, that's too many vampires. More song lyrics! Oh, not so many song lyrics."
Suddenly, Error Message got (what was, in her eyes) a great idea. "Oh wait, I know! High school!"
Purple Prose gave her a doubtful look. "High school?"
Error Message glared at her. "What does your audience want?"
"They want high school...high school it is."
Disk Drive (a light blue unicorn with a green mane and tail) stood nearby as Purple Prose typed. She noticed that her friend was occasionally shooting her some quick glances and it was starting to bug her.
"What?" she asked after the umpteenth glance.
"Everypony else wanted me to change something in my other stories," Purple Prose explained. "You want me to change something in this romance story?"
"Nah," Disk Drive said. "I don't really care what you do as long as the romance is beautiful."
This didn't satisfy Purple Prose. "Do you think the plot needs work?"
"I think it's fine."
"What about the characterization?"
"That's fine, too."
"The setting? The tone? The word choice?"
Disk Drive sighed. "They're all fine! Just make the whole thing, you know, beautiful. It needs to be about twenty percent more beautiful."
Purple Prose cradled her forehead with her hoof.
Error Message skipped by.
All we ever want is indecision
Disk Drive followed her.
All we really like is what we know
Spellcheck trotted by.
Gotta balance style and prose with canon
Mouse Pointer flew by.
Make sure you obey the rules of fanon
Screensaver followed them.
Even if you think you're far above it
They all crowded around their friend.
Make sure that your audience will love it!
Purple Prose resisted the urge to call them on what they were doing.
Gotta overcome intimidation
Remember, it's all in the presentation!
Sentences, paragraphs
Tears and fears, cheers and laughs
Line by line, click by click
Word by word, always ticked
And that's the art of the fic!
Once her friends left, Purple Prose went to get an ice pack to alleviate the oncoming headache.
A/N: I hope the story parts and the song lyrics didn't get in the way of each other too much.
