(A/N – I do not own the characters in orTwilightin any way, all rights are reserved to Stephanie Meyers.)

Esme Would Understand

Bella's P.O.V.

The water below rolled and churned in swirls of pattern. The clouds began to cascade heavily over the horizon, and rain began to drizzle upon my debating form.

Why did I come here?

To finish the cliff dive Jacob had promised me, or to hear Edward's voice? Or maybe, I was so far gone, that I stood her now because I couldn't take the pain anymore. In my subconscious, maybe I was telling myself that doing this would bring me some peace. Maybe, without realising, I was here to end the pain Edward's sudden leaving had caused me.

In a way, I was much like, Esme.

The wind picked up and the sun still shone, albeit difficultly now. The grey clouds began to merge over the orb of light and suddenly the bright greens became a cloak of darkness. No matter what though, the adrenaline was running far too quickly through my unfeeling body. It made me feel...elated, much unlike Esme did when she was in my position.

However, we were both put in this situation by people we loved who had left us. Her baby had died and my...love...had left me.

Breathing quickly, I stepped forwards, letting my toes curl over the edge. I watched captivated as some of the stone crumbled away under my toes. The wind dishevelled my hair which wasn't very tidy to begin with. My heart was pounding in my chest and it felt as if though my rib cage was going to break any second.

This is how Esme must have felt.

Tortured, pained, alone. Yes, I knew Esme would understand if this went wrong. Not once would she question why I did it. She would grieve, yes, but she would understand, unlike the rest of her family.

But was I here to die?

My mind fought between yes and no.

I couldn't be here to die, because after all, Jacob had promised me this. It was safe; I'd watched him do this.

But, Esme, logical Bella fought back, jumped off a cliff. Exactly like this one, Bella. She wasn't doing it for recreational purposes, was she?

"I'm not, Esme," I whispered, fiercely back.

But logical Bella mocked me; you've both lost precious things. Look where those losses led both of you. Do you even realise the grief that ran through Esme's mind when she took her own life, Bella? She wasn't in her right mind!

"I'm in my right mind." And I wasn't sure who I was talking to or trying reassure, because after all, there was only me to blame if this went wrong.

One wrong move, Bella, and you could lose your life, logical Bella reminded as matter-of-factly.

"I know," I hissed back.

Closing my eyes, I breathed in and then back out.

I wasn't Esme.

Rolling onto the balls of my feet, Edward's velvet voice whispered through the wind. "You don't want to do this, Bella."

"You wanted me to have my human experiences," I shot back, a sadistic smile on my chapped lips. "Watch me."

And as I fell down into nothingness, I knew Esme would understand if this ended badly.

A/N – Boredom and Christmas holidays offers a perfect time to create one-shots like these... ;)

I was trying to get Bella's mind to be conceived as muddled and confused to what her actual purpose was. I don't know if that came across with you, but I'm happy with it, nonetheless.

Reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks, Katie1995 :)