"Cosmo, you idiot!"

Yup. Just another normal day for Timmy Turner. His fairy godparents, Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof, were all swimming around in a fishbowl (of course, they had shapeshifted into fish before they got in). Cosmo had apparently done something dumb; Timmy wasn't really paying attention anymore. He was thinking of something he could wish for. Going over his many past wishes, he closed his eyes in thought.

"Well Wanda," Timmy said after wishing his father was the smartest father in the world, "isn't this the part where you start nagging me about how this wish could go wrong?"

Wanda, to Timmy's surprise, shook her head. "Nah, I think this is a pretty good wish. Is there anyone else you'd like to make smarter?"

Timmy thought for a bit, then shook his head. "Uh... no."

Cosmo, in the meantime, was trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. "Ahhhhh! Fit, darn you!!"

Seeing this, Wanda added desperately, "Are you sure, Timmy? Why don't you make someone else smart? Who rhymes wish 'Josmo'!"

"That's it!" Timmy cried, jumping up and standing on his bed. Wanda and Cosmo stopped arguing and faced him. Poof went on playing with his rattle for a bit, then murmured a word from his limited vocabulry: "Wish-ie?"

"Yup, Poof," Timmy grinned. "That's it!"

"What's what?" Wanda asked.

"I thought of a wish!" Timmy announced. "Cosmo, how would you like to be smart?"

"Would I!" Cosmo grinned. "No, seriously, would I? Is being smart a good thing?"

Wanda sighed. "Yes, Cosmo, it's a good thing."

"Okay! Wish away, Timmy!" Cosmo urged him.

"I wish Cosmo was the smartest fairy ever!" Timmy shouted. His fairy godparents raised their wands (Poof raised a tiny magical rattle) and a cloud of dust shot up from the bowl. When the dust cleared, Cosmo blinked. "I daresay, I feel slightly abnormal," he said, looking himself over.

Wanda looked at him in a weird way. The wish had obviously worked- Cosmo never talked like that. Ever. "Cosmo? You okay?"

"Why, Wanda! Yes, I do believe I'll be fine once this strange, alien feeling subsides," Cosmo announced. "Hello, Poof. I can see that your magical abilities are maturing quite nicely."

Timmy scratched his head. "I don't know what half of those words meant," he pouted, looking at Wanda for answers. She shrugged the best a fish could shrug, and Timmy sighed. "I wish I had a dictionary." A Websters appeared in front of him and he flipped pages frantically every time Cosmo looked like he was about to speak.

"I am going to reside within our lovely castle here for a spell. Would you care to join me, Wanda?" Cosmo asked.

"Uh... Sure," Wanda shrugged. She then followed him inside the castle. Poof, wanting to be with his parents, followed her.

Timmy smiled and lay down on his bed, pleased with himself. Sure, he couldn't understand a word Cosmo said, but he knew that Wanda would be happier this way. Wanda hated having to correct Cosmo all the time, and have him jepordize their whole world by taking Timmy's wishes the wrong way. Sure, it added some excitement, but it was a little too much excitement.

"Guys?" he called.

"Yes, Timothy?" Cosmo asked, poking his scaly fish-head out of the purple castle.

"My name is Timmy," Timmy corrected him. Ugh. Two things he hated being called were "Timothy" and "Twerp".

"Timmy is merely an abbreviation for Timothy," Cosmo retorted, swimming out of the castle. "After all, we are all free to say 'can not' instead of 'can't' because they both get the meaning across quite nicely."

Timmy, instead of making a stinging retort, grabbed his dictionary and started flipping through it. Once he was finished looking up the words Cosmo had spoken, he replied, "I like Timmy better. Okay? So call me Timmy."

"As you wish." Cosmo bowed slightly, but since he were a fish, it merely looked like he were tilting his round, fishy body.

"What'd you call us out here for, Timmy?" Wanda asked, finally swimming out of the castle.

"I wanna go to Fairly World and see Mama Cosma," Wimmy requested, holding his dictionary at the ready.

Wanda was the first to reply. "NOOOO. NOOOO. NOT HER! NOT HERRRRRRR!!!"

Cosmo glanced at Wanda. "I'm afraid my mother does not show much approval towards my beloved Wanda," he sighed. "But," he added, seeing Wanda's glare, "I still love you, Wanda, despite my mother's opinion."

Another session of the dictionary, and Timmy nodded. "I know she doesn't like Wanda. Wanda doesn't have to go."

"YESSSSS!!" Wanda shouted. "I don't have to go! Yay!"

"I just wanna see the look on her face when Cosmo starts talking to her," Timmy explained, a mental image of Mama Cosma with a priceless look on her face appearing. He started laughing.

"Ooh, I wanna come now. I want to see that look," Wanda requested.

"Neither of you seem to approve of my mother any more than she approves of Wanda," Cosmo observed. "Why is that?"

"She hates me, I hate her," Wanda explained quickly. "Now let's go." She raised her wand, and they soon found themselves at Mama Cosma's doorstep. Cosmo knocked on the door.

His mother opened it and smiled. "Hello, son, what brings you... here..." her voice trailed as she spotted Wanda. She glared at her.

"That's a rather contemptous stare, don't you think, Mother?" he asked. He was being throroughly ignored, though, because Mama Cosma and Wanda seemed to be locked in a death stare. "Could we please advance this exchange of hate? I would like to engage in conversation with my mother."

His mother looked up, breaking the deadly glare between her and Wanda. She looked at Cosmo in a strange way.

"Why are you looking at me in such an abnormal way?" Cosmo inquired.

"Did... did he hit his head or something?" Mama Cosma asked, looking at Wanda with an expression that was not of hate (for once).

"No," Wanda answered. "Timmy wished him smart."

"Oh. Well. Come in."

As Wanda hovered inside the house, she yelped every now and then, dodging a toaster or a blender that Mama Cosma had decided to throw at her. "Why do you hate me so much!?" she finally cried.

"I don't know, I just do. NOW SHUT UP AND HOLD STILL SO I CAN BEAT YOU WITH THE FOOD PROCESSOR!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

As Mama Cosma and Wanda sped around the room at full speed, Cosmo sighed. "Noowwww I know why I don't visit here very often," he muttered to Timmy, to hadn't said said a word since he got to this place.

"Yeah," Timmy replied, finally speaking.

Meanwhile, Mama Cosma had finally caught Wanda and was hitting the pink-haired fairy over the head with said food processor. Wanda had dropped her wand in the midst of being beaten, so she was basically helpless. "Mercy, woman, mercyyyyy!" (Smack) "OW!!"

Cosmo pulled his mother off of Wanda and Wanda retrived her wand. "Let's get out of here!" she cried, and her, Timmy and Cosmo all ended up back in Timmy's room.

"It's quite too bad that my mother doesn't approve of you, Wanda dearest," Cosmo sighed. "But, that is solely her opinion. She can think whatever she likes. I still love you, Wanda." He went up close to Wanda, allowing her to put her head on his shoulder. Timmy mimed barfing as he watched the display.

"Oh, grow up," Wanda huffed, waving her wand and making rose petals appear. They started to fell like soft, red snow around the fairies, triggering a beautiful, relaxing feeling inside of them both. Oh, Timmy, Wanda thought, this is the best wish you've ever made. She wrapped her arms around Cosmo, and he returned the gesture. Inhaling deeply, Wanda closed her eyes, completely submitting to the sweet embrace she and Cosmo shared. She heard nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing, except for Cosmo and his high-pitched, but still somehow soothing, voice.

"I love you," he whispered, tightening his grip on Wanda. (Timmy mimed barfing out the window again. And again. And again.)

"I love you too," Wanda whispered back, feeling her face heat up. Funny- after ten thousand years of being married to him, she still blushed whenever he held her close to him, and said that he loved her. She didn't know why, but one thing she did know is that they loved each other, and that they would never be torn apart.

But she was wrong.

:::

"Wanda... I'm ashamed to tell you this, but I forget," Cosmo said, holding some chalk up to a board he got out of nowhere, "what the exact square root of 295783985 is. Could you help me on this?"

"Uhhhh..." Wanda scratched her head, getting a calculator. "I have... no... clue... at all..."

Cosmo looked at Wanda bizzarely. "Why, Wanda, surely you should know! With such amazing intelect and skill you should figure this problem out in no time! ...And put that calculator away!" He raised his wand and the wand disappeared in a cloud of green smoke. "A piece of metal wiring is no substitute of the fairy mind!"

Wanda gave a half-hearted smile, flattered at the compliment. "Well, uh... Cosmo, I really don't know the answer... but thank you for calling me smart." She blinked. "And what's with you and being against calculators? They're cool."

"Oh, contrare, my love," Cosmo crossed his arms. His way of speaking at that point almost reminded Wanda of Anti-Cosmo. "Calculators... they are quite degrading, if I do say so myself! It completely takes away the process of thought from the mind; you don't do anything when a calculator is in use. You may expect that later in life. The thought of problems solved at the push of a button will render you helpless against the harsh forces of the cruel world! You must figure out issues for yourself!"

"Uhh......" Wanda blinked. "Okay. So you hate calculators. Okay. ...I still have no idea what the square root is or whatever you call it..."

Cosmo merely stared at her, and then turned back to the chalkboard. "Never mind," he said dismissively, a hint of scorn in his tone. "I'll figure it out myself.... thanks for the help, though."

"Uh..... okay." Wanda left the room, confounded.

:::

Wanda and Timmy were locked in the middle of a staring contest (they were extremely bored; Timmy didn't know what to wish for and Wanda had given up trying to talk to Cosmo because of his strange new way of speaking.) as Poof slept in a nearby cradle when Cosmo entered the room. "What on earth are you two doing...?" he asked, hovering over the pair. "Staring contests are slightly trivial, don't you think?"

"Huh?" Timmy looked up at Cosmo, getting out his handy dictionary.

"HAH! I WIN!!!" Wanda declared, crossing her arms.

Cosmo merely blinked and looked at Timmy. "I mean, staring contests are just a little bit too-simple minded, agreed?"

Wanda shrugged. "Meh. It's better than being bored out of our skulls, no matter how simple it is."

"You could cure your boredom," Cosmo suggested, "by trying to find more difficult things to do instead of engaging in the task at hand."

(Dictionary.) Timmy looked up and shrugged. "I dunno. None of us are as smart as you, Cosmo, and..." his voice trailed. "What did this do to uh... Anti-Cosmo?"

As if on cue, Anti-Cosmo poofed into the room. "HEYYYYYYYY, GUYS!! How are you?!" His accent had completely dissolved from his tone.

"Um... hello," Cosmo blinked. Wanda had just noticed that Cosmo had somehow aquired his Anti-self's British twang. "May I help you?"

"Oh, no," Anti-Cosmo assured them. "...Are you gonna eat that?" he asked, pointing to something at Timmy's side.

"That's... my hand."

"Oh! Sorry," Anti-Cosmo giggled. "I thought it was a pork chop. Nice hand, though. BYE!" He raised his dark wand, and poofed out of the room.

"...I guess that answers my question," Timmy murmured. "Ah, well. At least now he's a good match for Anti-Wanda-"

Anti-Wanda appeared as a hillbilly-ish banjo played in the backround. "You called?"

"Made reference," Cosmo chided.

"...What?"

"That means you were wrong and go away," Timmy explained.

"Oh. BYE!" And she was gone.

"Good match indeed," Cosmo observed, a bit puzzled by the whole ordeal. "Are you saying I was like that before?"

Timmy and Wanda nodded simultaniously.

Cosmo grimaced. "Oh, perish the thought!" he said, shuddering. "I would never revert back to my former self!"

"I'm starting to think you should," Wanda muttered, putting her hands on her hips. "I'm getting tired of this 'exact square root' sh-"

"What was that, dear? My hearing isn't too good nowadays; I'm over ten thousand years old, you know," Cosmo smiled.

"Yeah... nothing. Nothing. Wasn't talking to you."

"Okay."

Timmy looked at Wanda. "I think it's kinda cool having him like this! Imagine what surprises there'll be tomorrow; maybe we could visit Big Daddy!"

Oh, there would be surprises...

:::

Be nice in reviewing... this is my first FOP fic. Heheh. *sweatdrop* I know it's not all that good, but hey... why not?