Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men: Evolution or any of its characters.
Title: The Man for Her
Summary: Lance looks for answers after another breakup with Kitty. At the edge of the water he reflects on their relationship and where he could have gone wrong.
Author's Note: I wanted to do a one shot with one of the boys, and since my favorite couple happens to be Kitty/Lance, I decided to go with Lance Alvers. Not only that, but he also fits in nicely with my inspiration, which is the song Torn to Pieces by Pop Evil. The first time I ever heard it I immediately thought of X-Men: Evolution. I don't know why. Sometimes these things just happen. That's inspiration for you. So, this one shot is basically just after another one of their breakups and is focused solely on Lance's thoughts and feelings. Now, I don't know how strong of a writer I am when it comes to male perspective, but you never know if you don't try, right? So here goes nothing…
The Man for Her
The edge of the water was not a place many teenagers ventured to, since it was fairly rocky and quite dangerous. However, Lance Alvers could have cared less about danger at that point in time. Not to mention, he didn't fall into the typical teenage crowd in Bayville. He scooted to the very end of the rock that jutted just far enough over so that one would look down and see only water; and, he dangled his feet uncaringly over the edge.
This wasn't the first time that he and Kitty Pryde had called it quits. In fact, they were on and off again so often that it was getting hard to keep track of. That wasn't to say that it didn't hurt each and every time it occurred. Not to mention that the reasoning was becoming more and more unclear.
Of course there was the point that they literally played on different sides. She was with the noble X-Men and he was still a member of the lowly Brotherhood. They were literally at each other's throats at least once a week, and obviously that created unnecessary tension. That was just the way of it. Even so, that hadn't stopped their interest in one another from blooming in the first place, so that was hardly an excuse.
Speaking of sides, though, it was apparent that they came from opposites ends of the spectrum, as well. Not just in the conditions they were raised, but also their reputations at school. Kitty came from a well-off household with parents that loved her. Whereas Lance was a bit less fortunate. He had been passed around from foster home to foster home, with the only constant things in his life at that time being bullying and a lack of understanding. At Bayville High, Kitty was seen as an intelligent, very cute underclassman. Lance had managed to maintain his reputation from his old school as a miscreant and all around "bad" guy—basically the sort of boy you wouldn't want your precious daughter to date.
Yet, somehow, he had managed to get Kitty.
Despite all of the judgment and speculation surrounding their relationship, Lance believed that they had something special—something that the others just couldn't comprehend. He was used to ignoring what other people thought, but Kitty found it a little tougher. He couldn't explain what they had. It was just a feeling of easiness and familiarity. He was not only able to be himself around her, but he could also see the man he wanted to be. As cheesy as it sounded, she brought out the best in him, or at least tried.
Lance fingered a small, flat stone that had chipped off of the boulder he currently sat atop. It was easier to organize his thoughts with his energy being rerouted to the rock. He glanced out across the large expanse of water to the horizon. The sky was grey and cloudy, filling steadily with storms. The calm water reflected it, making it difficult to tell where the sky ended and where Earth began. It wasn't just the sky and the water, though. It seemed as if the whole world was grey today.
He tried to recall what exactly their fight had been about this time around. However, nothing specific came to mind. Instead, his head was filled with pretty much everything they had ever fought about before and everything that could present itself as a problem.
Of course they had their many differences. And, each and every one of those had been a trial at least once through the course of their lengthy courtship. Now it seemed that they should be well beyond that stage. Many of those differences couldn't even be changed, after all. So what was the use worrying over them? Then there were Kitty's expectations of him. Whether she knew it or not, she had set a bar for him that always seemed to be just out of reach. No matter how high he jumped or how far he stretched, he just couldn't seem to do it. Not only did he find that that created a lot of pressure on him, but it was also very frustrating to know that he would constantly be a failure.
Lance tossed the little rock into the water, where it immediately sank beneath the gently lapping waves. He watched its descent until it was visible no more. He wondered how soothing it might be to let oneself fall and be surrounded, comforted by the cold water. Perhaps it would chase all feelings and thoughts away for a short time. Or perhaps it one fell long enough there would be a world with just emptiness.
He leaned back on his hands and sighed. "I'm not a fan of the water, though," he muttered to himself.
He reflected on how lonely it might be in that big expanse of silence and emptiness. He had certainly felt a similar sense of longing throughout his childhood. Each home he had gone to he had entered with hope. But, it didn't take long for that hope to be torn to pieces. Very soon he had learned that if he had stayed pessimistic about the whole thing, he would be less hurt when it ended up not working out. He had carried that with him his entire life. That is, until he had run into her.
Or, he would be more correct to say that she had run into him. Literally.
Kitty had phased through her locker door, after having been shoved in there by the two girls that always found one reason or another to pick on her. Of course she had been scared out of her mind. Of course she had refused to believe anything he had initially told her regarding her powers. But he felt a sense of pride knowing that he was the first one she had come in contact with after developing them. More importantly still, since the day they had first met, he felt that he wasn't so alone in the world.
She presented a new world to him. It was a world where he wasn't the outcast or the bum on the side of the road. He was actually somebody to someone. He mattered. He had never thought that his life had mattered to anyone before. But she built him up and supported him. She offered him an alternate future that he had never expected before. From where he currently sat, it certainly looked attractive.
A small smile broke across Lance's chiseled face. Thoughts of Kitty and their years to come swam around his head. He found that he actually yearned to move into that future together with her. It was exciting to muse on how they would change and grow as one—where they could ultimately end up.
Then the smile curved into a frown. There could only be a future with Kitty if he stopped screwing things up with her. He had to make right by her. He had to be a better man for her. He wanted to be a better man for her. He hadn't realized before, but suddenly a sense of finality overcame him. Any of these breakups could ultimately be their last. She didn't have to take him back time and time again. She didn't have to settle with him when he came crawling back to her after he came to his senses. Yet, she was always there.
She was always there and she would always be there, he knew. That was the person she was. Not a pushover, but a genuinely kind and loving person. Unfortunately, she had chosen to love him. And now that she did, it was impossible for her to stop. No matter what he did, she would still find some way to take him back if he so desired to be with her. And he did! And the thought that he could use her that way made him sick to his stomach.
Certainly she was intelligent. Certainly she was level-headed. But even warnings from her closest friends went unheeded as she dated him again and again. Perhaps they were right and she should just forget about him. He wasn't good enough for her. He should just be tossed aside once more. Let the entire world turn its back on him and forget that Lance Alvers ever existed.
He hugged himself, pulling his knees to his chest, as a chill wind blew by. He supposed that the comfort was more for his cold thoughts than the breeze. Through all of his darkness, though, a light had penetrated through. That light was Kitty. She was the one good thing in his life. She was the only hope he had of redemption. And, he loved her for it. In fact, he needed her more than she would ever need him. She just didn't know it because he refused to show just how much he loved her. And that was his fault.
Sure, he could blame all of the people in his past. He could name names and point out specific instances, but it all came down to him. He ruined his relationship with Kitty constantly because he was afraid. He was scared that she would leave him, so he always beat her to it. He was scared that he didn't belong with her because he wasn't and would never be good enough. Mostly, he decided, he was afraid of getting hurt. Because, after all, he was used to that happening.
He didn't want to be afraid anymore. He just wanted to be with Kitty, in her arms.
That was where all the comfort was. That was where he felt most alive and most like himself. She was somehow the only person that truly saw him for who he was and understood that and accepted that. It had been a miracle he had found her in the first place, almost like she had been divinely sent to him. Here he was throwing the gift of her love away.
Lance realized he was at a crossroad. There were two options laid before him: he could take his reflections and his realizations and use them to better himself and to grow into what Kitty deserved; or, he could just walk away. He could man up and go back to her yet again because he needed her. Or, he could forget about her. Someway, he could wash her completely from his mind. So, the only question now was which path would he choose?
Lance got to his feet when a clap of thunder sounded in the distance and pivoted on his heel. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his grungy jeans as he headed back inland. There was really only one answer: Kitty.
He had decided. He would always reach the same decision because there was only ever the one. He would never go back to being that disappointment—not as long as she was in his life. No matter the obstacles that got in the way, he would overcome them for her. He would always choose Kitty. Because, in this crazy, lonely world there was only one thing that he knew for certain: they were meant to be together.