Disclaimer: As much as I click my heels and wish it, I will never own Kingdom Hearts. Title and idea for the story come from the song Silver and Cold by AFI which is, also, not mine.
He sat straight-backed in the chair. Rain pounded the windows in a lazy white noise. It was overly warm in the room, but Zexion did not think he could ever feel anything but frozen again.
His gloved hands rested lightly on his knees as he tried to keep them from balling into fists once again. Sucking in a deep breath, his throat clenched and sharp pains shot through denying him the air that his lungs didn't seem to think he deserved.
As his eyelids slid down, Zexion tried to concentrate only on the sound of the rain hitting the glass all around him in the large round room. The sound of water flooded his senses and eased his breathing. Water… Remembering made him slightly light-headed but took the sting out of his empty chest. A small smile flitted across his lips as he thought of the warmth that was now missing…
Demyx smiled as he felt Zexion's fingers run across his lips. Turning away from the storm and the night sky, his eyes fell on the silver-haired man whose head was laying on his arm. Zexion's eyes were closed and a soft smile was on his face.
Feeling Demyx's gaze, Zexion's eyes slid open and his fingers stalled. Zexion let his hand travel down to the blonds' chest and came to a stop just to the left; where his heart should have been.
The freezing cold rain pelted them, and though they were soaked, neither of them were cold. Zexion hadn't cared one way or the other about rain before he met Demyx. Now he loved it almost as much as he loved the man lyingbeside him. Demyx was so passionate about water in any form, and when his eyes lit up during a storm, Zexion couldn't help but be entranced.
As Demyx's eyes left him, Zexion moved up to lean on an arm and look down at the man lying beside him. Aqua eyes flicked back to him and a smile broke across his face. Demyx knew Zexion had been melancholy before they'd met. It had made him angry every time he looked at him. Now he was ecstatic when he looked at Zexion and saw cerulean eyes laughing back at him.
Demyx lay his hand on the back of Zexion's neck and pulled him to him. Zexion sighed into the kiss.
Even if they had no hearts, their time together made up for it.
Rolling thunder and a flash of lightning quickly delivered Zexion back to the room. His cheeks and neck were wet from tears he didn't know he'd released and his hands were clenched so tightly on his legs that he could barely feel his fingers. Glancing at the table in front of him, he stared blearily at the bright blue sitar, unable to believe its owner was not going to come looking for it. For the first time in a long time, Zexion felt that emptiness that had plagued him.
The click of boots dug their way through the haze of white noise to Zexion's consciousness. They stopped behind where he sat and Zexion waited for the red-haired man to start speaking… but he didn't.
"What is it, Axel?"
There was a gasp and more boot clicks as Axel rounded the chair beside him. Zexion looked up into startling green eyes that were more worried than he thought his usually over-bearing friend could be.
Axel's mouth was slightly open, as if he didn't know what to make of what he saw. "You heard me?"
"Of course." Zexion's voice was dead. None of the usual sarcasm or teasing tones left the broken shell that Axel gazed down at.
"Of course…" Axel echoed, wryly. "Zexion, you haven't moved or heard me for five days. You never responded. No one else has come. The others are being… well… themselves. Roxas would have come but he doesn't know how to help… he doesn't want to intrude."
Something in Zexion broke. Five days…Demyx has been dead for five days. "It seems longer."
Axel hung his head as he took a seat next to the silver shell of his friend. He knew that he was only a shell now. If Nobodies were still 'living', then he didn't know what Zexion was anymore.
Zexion's voice shook as he spoke. "If we don't have hearts, then why can we feel?"
Red eyebrows knitted together and Axel choked out a sullen laugh. "We're not supposed to. But, I suppose… the heart has nothing to do with the soul."
Zexion gave a slight nod. Somewhere in his mind, that made sense. He had thought he would resent it if someone sat with him, talked to him. But Axel was different. Axel had been there.
The storm rolled on as Zexion waved his hand wildly over his Lexicon and another Zexion whirled into existence across the town square. Saix had sent him, Demyx and Axel into Traverse Town to take care of three Darksides that had cropped up. Waving his hand a few more times another Demyx appeared, then another Axel. He continued calling copies until he felt satisfied that the Shadows whirling around the two remaining Darksides would have a difficult time picking out the real Nobodies.
As he started running in to attack one Darkside, he could see Demyx throwing jets of water through his sitar at the other. Zexion was momentarily thrown off balance as he ducked to avoid the whirling chakram that flew past him and sliced into the shadow farthest from him.
"Sorry!" The real Axel grinned as he ran past Zexion, nearly knocking the Lexicon out of his hands.
"Do I look like a Darkside?" Zexion questioned sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
Axel threw his hand out to the side and caught his spiked toy before sending it out again. "Just a little," he shrugged, impish in his humor.
Zexion sighed and changed direction. Axel could handle that Darkside on his own.
Zexion quickly sought out the real Demyx and was displeased to see that his fight had taken a turn for the worse. Demyx was moving slowly and his breathing had become quick and shallow. Zexion picked up his speed but was still a good distance away. A flash of light lit up the night around them letting Zexion know that Axel had won his battle. The knowledge flitted from his mind quickly as he saw Demyx hit his knees near the Darkside that was raising its fists.
Zexion could hear the sharp click of Axel's boots as they followed him but he knew they would get there too late. The ground shook as the Darkside's fists struck down and waves of darkness pooled out beneath him trapping and pulling at Demyx. Zexion had almost reached the edge, ready to sprint through the venomous shadow lake to Demyx if he had to. Without warning, however, he felt a jerk and was thrown backward as Axel stopped his forward movement.
"Are you insane!" Axel heaved his chakrams at the Darkside. They found their mark and the pool faded back. Demyx was able to drag himself out of it to solid ground as the remaining Darkside exploded in light.
Zexion nearly sighed in relief but then he saw a remaining Shadow amble up behind Demyx. The blond spun to hit it with his sitar as Zexion reached for his book. The Shadow slammed into Demyx, sending his sitar skidding away. A straggled yell escaped just as Zexion waved his gloved hand toward the Shadow capturing him in his book.
But it was too late.
Demyx's eyes flew toward Zexion as he fell back to the ground but before he hit, he was gone. A small flash and it was as if the Melodious Nocturne had never been.
"I don't know what to do anymore, Axel," Zexion whispered, placing a hand on his Lexicon that sat beside him.
"You do what you always did. Fight our enemies and try to get back our hearts."
Hearts.
Would they really achieve regaining their hearts?
And what then? Finding hearts would not bring Demyx back. Once a Nobody was dead, that was it. No coming back.
"I don't want a heart without Demyx," Zexion whispered, no longer able to look at the sitar, he turned his gaze to Axel. "I don't want anything without him."
Axel knew better than to try to reach the utterly broken person sitting next to him. He knew not even a heart could make Zexion whole now.
"Where will you go?"
Zexion lifted the Lexicon into his lap. "Nowhere. It will be as if I never existed." He looked, pleadingly at Axel. "Stay with me?"
Axel nodded, feeling defeated as Zexion stood and opened his book. Zexion closed his eyes and concentrated. Axel almost thought he wasn't going to do it until he saw a gloved hand float through the air.
Not five feet away, Demyx appeared. This was not the laughing, easy-going Demyx that Axel remembered. This was the wrathful Demyx that Zexion had imagined into being for retribution. He was beautiful and livid and needed no weapon as he moved toward Zexion. Axel saw the flit of a smile cross Zexion's face; then he was gone.
Catching it before it fell, Axel hefted the book into his own lap and was unsurprised when a tear of his own splashed against its cover.
Tucking the Lexicon into one arm, he stood and picked up the sitar. He left the round room and headed down the hall.
Memories chased each other through his head.
Zexion, Demyx, Roxas and himself stealing moments of friendship between tasks assigned by the Superior.
Demyx laughing as it rained… and Zexion smiling as he watched.
Axel reached his door and went through. He lay the sitar and the Lexicon on his bed as he walked over to a long, nearly empty chest in the side of his room. Inside was a silver velvet sheet that he spread across the bottom. Retrieving the sitar and book from his bed he lay them both inside, tucking the Lexicon in beside the neck of the sitar. He gave them one last look and closed the trunk. Reaching into his nightstand he pulled out the lock which he slid into place on the front of the weapons' new home.
Maybe it was better to be nothing than to be a Nobody.
Perhaps they would never regain their hearts.
What if all any of them could really hope for was for it all to end.
Maybe Demyx and Zexion had found the only release they could really obtain.
A/N: Thank you thank you thank you to my long time beta Amy for being so passionate about my work and to Brandi who co-betaed. Your 'anal retentive attention to detail' is awesome :)
Pretty pretty please Read and Review! It reallly makes my day! Constructive criticism is much appreciated! (just no flames. they only serve to waste your and my time)