Author's note: This is just something I thought of during tonight's episode, so it's been very hastily thrown together, I'm afraid. It wouldn't let me go to sleep until it was finished! It's kind of an alternative to the second half of the first "office" scene between Hanssen and Sahira. I thought their scenes tonight were SO charged, with many, many different emotions and a whole heap of sexual tension, so I just had to write something! It's a oneshot unless anyone wants more. Please take the time to read and review if you can - it means a lot to me to know if it's any good :)

Disclaimer: The characters and settings are from "Holby City" and belong to the BBC and not to me (sadly). I have no intention of making even a penny from this story! Although the majority of this is my own work, you will probably recognise the very first part of the dialogue from the episode "All Good Things" if you've seen it.

The Door Game

Quick as a flash, Sahira grabbed the door handle and pulled it shut. She wasn't going to let him avoid this conversation by hiding behind his office door.

"You led me down the garden path." Sahira stood with her arms folded, challenging him to contradict her.

"To the sweet smell of continued employment, no?" Henrik replied with a dry smile. He tried again to open the door, but once more, Sahira's hand shot to the door handle, preventing him from opening it.

"Could you at least wait 'til I'm on the other side before you do that?" Henrik asked, with the merest hint of sarcasm.

"You made it look like the only reason I'm staying is because I'm the boss's favoured child."

"You've achieved solely on your own merits."

"Well that's not what everyone thinks."

"Who cares what everyone thinks?"

The man was infuriating! How many times did they have to have this conversation?

"I have already told you I'm sick and tired of being thought of as "Hanssen's girl". You know they think we're sleeping together?"

Henrik raised an eyebrow slightly. "I'm aware of the rumours, yes."

"And that doesn't bother you?" Sahira demanded.

"I've never taken much notice of idle gossip."

"Well perhaps you should, because quite frankly, it doesn't look great on either of us!" She was becoming agitated now, and her voice was getting louder, attracting the attention of the staff down the corridor.

"Can we take this inside?" he asked, gesturing towards his office.

Sahira stood back, allowing him finally to open the door and enter the room. She followed him in, closing the door behind her, and so permitting them a little more privacy as she continued her rant.

"Everyone already thinks that I got this job because I'm shagging you, and now they think that that's why I'm keeping it! It makes it look like I persuaded everyone to back the Cardiac Trauma Unit because I knew that when you got rid of all of them, my job would be safe. They think I'm a total bitch!"

Henrik was mildly surprised by her use of coarse language: it was out-of-character for her. She must really be very frustrated. However he did not let his cool demeanour slip.

"And if you'd known that the CTU wasn't going to be the saviour of Darwin, would you still have gone ahead with it? At least now your job and Miss Naylor's are safe. That's something, isn't it?"

"No! If I'd known you were going to do this, I would have fought harder for Darwin! What about all the other people who are going to lose their jobs? What are they going to do now? Most of them will be made redundant, and they all think it's my fault!"

"Does it matter what they think? It won't change the outcome. You can't go through life and succeed in your career expecting everyone to love you all the time."

"Well you'd know all about that! Unlike you, however, I don't happen to want my colleagues to hate me. I want to succeed because I'm good at my job, not because I'm your favourite pet. I hate the rumours, and the conversations behind my back. I'm sick of everyone thinking there's something "going on" between us. That's not the sort of person I am! I don't want them to think that I would stoop so low, as to sleep with you, just to keep my job!"

Henrik was taken aback. Did she really find him that repellent? Quickly recovering his composure, he hoped she hadn't noticed the effect her words had had.

"Well it's nice to know you have such a high opinion of me."

"That wasn't what - "

"I think you've said enough, don't you? Now if you don't mind, I'm really rather busy."

"Henrik - "

"Please leave."

Cursing under her breath, Sahira stomped out of the office, closing the door heavily behind her. She stopped outside, slumping against the wall of the corridor with a cringe and a deep sigh. She hadn't meant it to come out like that: she had meant that she wouldn't sleep with anyone to further her career, but it had sounded like a vicious assault on him personally. He had recovered it well, but not before she had noticed the flash of hurt in his eyes.

Truth be told, not so many years ago, she almost certainly would have slept with him if she'd had the chance. Not to further her career, but purely and simply because of the way she'd felt about him. It wasn't until it was too late, and she was married to another man and pregnant with her first child, that she'd realised that he had felt the same way. She had never let on that she knew - partly to spare his embarrassment - and so it remained unacknowledged between them.

In his office, Henrik shuffled the papers on his desk aimlessly. He picked up a pen to write something, and put it straight back down again. All thoughts of work had temporarily vacated his mind. He noticed he was shaking slightly.

Spinning his chair away from the desk, he threw his head back and stared at the ceiling. He hated that her words had got to him so much. He hated that he still had these feelings for her after all these years. She had made it quite clear she wasn't interested in him when she'd married another man and had two babies with him, so why her words today had provoked such a reaction in him, he wasn't sure. Then it dawned on him that, until today, he had been able to allow himself the fantasy that, if things didn't work out with her husband - and he knew the relationship was far from a bed of roses - he would be there for her, and she might finally realise what she had in him. But in one sentence, Sahira had managed to crush every last ounce of hope - however far-fetched - that she might one day be his. She clearly believed that she would be lowering herself to an unacceptable level for anything to happen between them, and so he would have to live with the knowledge that he would never be good enough for her. The only thing he had left to be thankful for was that he had never admitted his feelings to her. He had been stupidly close to doing so on several occasions in the past, but his good sense had always prevailed and stopped him, and for that he was eternally grateful. Well, he thought, she need never know now. At least his dignity would remain intact…

Ta da! Really hope that was okay, and at least made some kind of sense! If it's rubbish, tell me, and I'll go back to my cave ;)