Abnormality

Sanji groans, his ears ringing as he slowly returns to reality. They're lucky the Ursus Shock had done only that. Had it been just a little bigger, not one of them would still be breathing. The Straw Hats and the Lola Pirates lie scattered through the rubble like discarded dolls. Unconscious bodies litter his field of vision. By some miracle, they're all still here.

"…. right…. not like Franky…. Doctor Vegapunk…." comes the Tyrant's voice, sounding like a soft but threatening echo.

"So there's no possible way to beat you," he hears the shitty swordsman reply, a distinct strain in his voice. "Great. Fucking great."

Sanji sits bolt upright and whips around. His blue eyes instantly lock on the mechanical mountain of a man. The marimo looks like no more than an ant by comparison. Just one meaningful step forward and it'll be all over. What the hell is this idiot doing? He can't be thinking of taking on a Warlord on his own, the suicidal bastard.

The swordsman's chest deflates with a heavy sigh. "Fine, Kuma. Do as you must," he says, "but I'll allow you only one head."

Before Kuma can voice Sanji's bewildered thoughts, Zoro firmly plants his hands to the ground and lowers his head, his shoulders hunched and his defenses lowered. The cook stares at his crewmate in shock. Roronoa Zoro, the demon swordsman, the man whose very name incites fear in the hearts of even the strongest pirates, bows down at Kuma's feet, humbling himself in the man's presence.

Zoro raises his face and says, "In exchange for Luffy's life, I offer you mine. Take my head in place of his."

Sanji's heart drops to his stomach at his rival's declaration. He isn't serious. This can't be happening. His body reacts outside his conscious, his arms and legs pushing him up. "Hold it, you damn idiot!" the cook barks as he staggers over to them.

"Y…. You…." Zoro breathes out, gaping at him.

Sanji feels Zoro's eyes follow as he moves to stand before Kuma, effectively shielding his vulnerable crewmate from the Tyrant's empty stare as best he can. He clenches his hands in his pockets. His body won't stop trembling. He only hopes that Kuma doesn't notice. Putting on the bravest face he can muster, he says, "Rather than this shitty swordsman, take my head." The first mate's icy stare burns holes into the back of Sanji's skull, but he ignores him. His own haggard breathing is foreign to his ears, but he can't back down. He cannot let this idiot go through with this.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, shitty cook?" Zoro shouts.

"Shut the fuck up!" Sanji retorts, keeping his eyes on the Warlord. "The crew needs you, idiot! Luffy needs you!"

Instantly, the moss-head falls silent. Sanji fights down his victorious smirk. Zoro won't win this. He's Luffy's first mate and best friend, the very heart of the Straw Hats. Without him, the crew will fall apart. There are more than enough chefs across the Grand Line, but Zoro is irreplaceable.

"Hey, shitty marimo," Sanji says, fighting to keep his voice steady, "sorry about this but tell…. tell the crew they'll need to find a new cook."

Fire shoots up his side, his ribs alight with a massive wave of pain. Sanji stumbles sideways and grits his teeth. White light erupts behind his eyes, and he firmly plants his feet to the ground to keep from falling over. His fight-or-flight instincts kick into overdrive, and he pivots, grabbing the swordsman's shoulder with a deep snarl as the black sword lowers. Zoro's eyes bury him in their forests, his eyes expressionless. "You shitty selfish bastard!" the cook manages between gasps and pants. "Zoro!"

His fingers release as his legs give way, the weight of his body bringing him to the ground, Zoro's unyielding body snapping to black. "Don't die, you damn idiot!" Sanji pleads, though the words never reach his mouth. Tears stream from his eyes, and he clutches the dirt in his fist. "Zoro, please! Please don't die!"

"—ffy, you liar!" are the first words he hears as the cook regains consciousness. Usopp, his muggy brain registers.

"Perhaps his natural adrenaline cancelled out the pain, giving him this high," a second voice says.

Robin-chan. Their voices sound so clear, blending with the rest of the crew's.

Sanji's eyes shoot open and expand, and he sits bolt upright, staring around as his chest heaves. Luffy's loud laughter snaps him to attention, and he turns to see his captain jumping up and down amidst the crew gathered around him. The absence of their greenet crewmate sends a nasty feeling to the pit of his belly. The cook again looks around but sees neither hide nor hair of the man even among the awakening Lola Pirates. Where the hell can that fool have gone?

A sliver of red flashes across his sight with one last swivel of his head, and Sanji freezes. Lying on a large slab of rubble are three katana nestled safely in their saya: Shuusui, the newest addition in black, Sandai Kitetsu in red, and Wado Ichimonji in white. Sanji doesn't know when he'd stood, but everything in him rises up at once. Energy floods his limbs as he runs off in the opposite direction, his legs cycling as he gains speed. Something is deathly wrong. No matter the situation, regardless how dire or hopeless, the marimo would never discard his katana. They're his most treasured possessions, his constant companions. Dammit, he'd better be alive. "Where are you, you idiot?" Sanji says. "Where the hell are y—"

He stops, looking to his left. "There he is," he says.

The first mate stands like an unmoved wall some distance away. The tattered single strap of his ruined white shirt—the thing was in one piece the last time he saw him—clings to his right shoulder. Whatever went on last night must've been one hell of a fight. Sanji breathes a sigh of relief and slides down a large slab. "What the hell do you think you're playing at, huh?" he snaps, shoving his hands into his pockets as he comes over, scanning the surroundings. "And where'd that damn Warlord go?"

No answer. Growing even more annoyed, the cook levels his glare on the swordsman, but his words catch in his throat at the sight of him. Blood drips like water from his head and torso, his arms folded across his rock-solid chest. His shirt looks as though it's been sliced open. Half of it is completely gone. The swordsman's other rigid frame trembles and quakes, as though it's taking all his energy just to stay standing.

Sanji's eyes widen in horror. "What's with all this blood?" he shouts. "Hey, are you still alive? Where is that guy?" A loud squelch seeps from under his foot, and he looks down to see the most gigantic pool of blood he's ever seen. The thick red substance covers the surrounding rubble like a grotesque painting. This can't all be Zoro's! It's impossible! "What happened here?" Sanji barks.

A wet groan escapes Zoro's lips, drawing the cook's attention.

"Huh?" the cook demands.

"No…. Nothing…. Got it?" Zoro replies.

Sanji watches as Zoro's body at last gives out. His head bounces off the ground before the rest of him follows, the swordsman lying immobile and prostrate at his feet. Strength he never knew he possessed pours through every inch of him, his legs running faster than they ever have before as he carries his fallen crewmate to the others. He barely registers Chopper's shrill commands as his body automatically obeys. They can't let him. He absolutely has to pull through. Zoro is the heart and soul of this crew, Luffy's first mate and their senior. They cannot, under any circumstances, lose him.

Sanji paces back and forth just outside the lab, going through his cigarettes like candy. Every hour feels like a day. He swears time stops at least twice. Everything feels so surreal. After such a hard-fought and even harder-won battle like this, they'd all be partying and celebrating their victory. But now, here they are, having to piece their strongest comrade—the cook will be damned if he ever admits that out loud—back together like a puzzle. Sanji closes his eyes and sinks to his knees. "Please," he begs to any higher power who will hear him. "Please let his damn idiot make it."

Chopper works feverishly to stabilize the swordsman, struggling to keep back his tears. His arms and hooves ache with his mounting effort to stop the bleeding. With everything they've been through, all that they've fought for, never has Zoro been in this bad a condition. It's been well over six hours, and the swordsman has shown not the slightest sign of recovery. He hasn't twitched even once since he's been here. But he can't let himself give up. Zoro never does, no matter how bad things seem.

"You'll make it, Zoro. I just know you will," Chopper says, more to himself than to the first mate. He needs to at least keep up his own motivation. The crew views him as nothing less than a miracle worker, and he cannot afford to fail them.

Chopper secures the last of the stitches and staples and wipes the sweat from his brow with a furry arm. Being careful not to hit Zoro in the face with his antlers, the little doctor presses his ear to his unconscious patient's chest, just barely making out a heartbeat. At least he knows the swordsman is alive. This entire day has been nothing less than grueling. The sound of Sanji's footsteps had been the only thing to keep him company outside the swordsman's faint breathing, but the steady pacing has long since faded out. Sanji must be downstairs with the others by now. Chopper can hardly blame him.

The entire crew, even Luffy, has been eerily quiet since Zoro was brought in. And why not? It's normal to see Zoro injured, certainly, but not like this, not covered from head to toe in blood and unable even to stand. "What happened to you?" the doctor asks for what feels like the millionth time today.

Giving Zoro's vital signs one last check-up, Chopper climbs down from the high stool next to the operation table and crosses the room, standing on his toes to open the door. Stepping out into the hallway, he's greeted with soft snoring. He turns and blinks in surprise at the sight of Sanji asleep against the wall. With the stiffness of his body, it's apparent he's been there a while, a couple hours at least. The little doctor smiles. Luffy can be such a sensitive guy sometimes.

He goes over to the cook and gently shakes his shoulder. Sanji snorts and opens his eyes, stretching as he rocks his neck. "Dammit, I fell asleep," he mutters, then turns. "Chopper? When did you get out here?"

"Just a couple minutes ago."

"How…. How is he?"

"Still unconscious." The doctor sighs and shakes his head. "I've done everything I can for him. All we can do now is wait."

He sees the cook almost instantly deflate. Chopper tightly grips the brim of his hat as his tears at last spill over. He knows it's not at all the news Sanji wants to hear, but there's nothing else to be done about it. "I'm sorry, Sanji…." he sniffles.

The cook rests a hand on Chopper's head, and the doctor looks up to see the pained smile on his face. "Don't apologize, Chopper," he says gently. "Besides, you're the Straw Hat doctor. There's nothing you can't do."

Chopper sniffs hard and wipes away his tears, unable to keep himself from smiling in return, his body instinctively wiggling as he claps and dances. "That doesn't make me happy, you jackass!" he declares.

A/N: Hi, everyone, just me here. This is my first dip into One Piece fanfiction so please give any and all criticism you find needed.