Series: Idioms - A series of stand-alone stories based off random idioms.
A/N: All definitions can be found in From the Horse's Mouth by John Ayto.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination.
Idiom: dressed to kill: wearing attractive or flamboyant clothes in order to make a striking impression.
Dressed To Kill
Two jaws dropped and one eyebrow rose as Sam and Vala stepped out of the privacy tent behind the street bazaar. Vala grinned and winked at her blonde companion as they made their way toward the obviously stunned men. The alien sauntered over, tapping Daniel's chin back into place and wiping her finger across his mouth.
"You're drooling, darling." she told him before shifting her glance toward Mitchell. "Cameron, if you don't close your mouth, you're going to catch flies."
The colonel did as instructed but remained silent. Teal'c on the other hand wore a small smile and gave the women an appraising look before nodding his approval.
"Wh-What are you wearing?" Daniel finally stuttered.
"Why, leathers, of course." Vala answered as if to a dim-witted child. But they weren't simply wearing leathers. No, she had procured matching black halter vests and skin-tight pants for the two of them. And the only thing holding the clothing together were rawhide ties at every seam. Suffice it to say, the outfits left very little to the imagination, just as Vala preferred it.
"Um...I can see that but, uh, well..." Daniel's eyes were shifting everywhere but to his female team mates. "Where's the rest of it?"
"Darling, there is no "rest of it", just this. You told me to buy something that would allow Samantha and myself to blend in with the townspeople."
"Blend in, Princess, not stick out." Cam said, finally finding his voice again.
"Cameron, this is a planet full of thieves and con artists. The only thing that would make us stick out would be walking into that tavern wearing our BDUs. Trust me, these are my people and I know what I'm doing."
"I must agree with Vala Mal Doran." Teal'c bowed his head toward her in concurrence. "She has a personal knowledge of this culture and these people. It would be foolhardy to ignore her instructions."
"Thank you, Muscles." she preened.
"What about you, Sam?" Cam asked. "You okay with this?"
"Yes, I am." She tried to hide her smirk and failed miserably. She really liked this outfit. "It's the best way to get what we came here for."
"Alrighty then. You know what you have to do?"
"Yes, Cameron." Vala sighed in exasperation. When would he learn to trust her? "We are to gather information on the thieves whom Daniel allowed to steal his precious artefact."
"I allowed?" Daniel spluttered. "You're the one who introduced us to those...those pirates!"
"Let's not get technical." She waved away his accusation as he grew red with anger. "Anyway, we go in, get the info, and get out. Easy as cake."
"Pie." Cam corrected.
"I prefer cake."
"Whatever. Just remember, this is a recon mission. Do not in any way engage yourselves in a fight for it. You come back here and we'll come up with a plan to retrieve it based on the intel. Got it?"
"Yes, yes." Vala rolled her eyes and heard Samantha chuckle behind her. "Are we done here?"
"Yeah, we're done. Might as well get this over with. Just don't do anything stupid."
"Wouldn't dream of it, darling." She winked at him, making him squirm. "By the way, you never did tell us how we look."
"Dressed to kill, Princess. Now go before it gets too late."
"Dressed to kill." Vala repeated thoughtfully as she and Sam turned to leave. "He has no idea."
"What do you think she meant by that?" Daniel asked warily as he watched the women disappear into the woods.
"Man, I don't even want to know."
()()()()
"Dial the 'gate!"
Vala's voice carried over the open field as she and Sam came rushing out of the woods, followed by an angry mob. Daniel watched in horror for a second as the two women shot at their pursuers with thin, pistol-like weapons he'd never seen before. He and Mitchell took out their own weapons to create cover-fire while Teal'c did as ordered and dialled Earth. There was no time to ask what had gone wrong. As soon as the wormhole activated, they all jumped through.
"Shut it down!" Mitchell shouted once they landed on the ramp. When he could once again breath, the colonel levelled Vala with a glare. "What the hell happened? You were only supposed to go in and get intel. Not have the entire population chase you down!"
"We did better than that." Vala grinned and pulled a stone tablet from a satchel Daniel only just noticed. "We got the artefact back."
"Well done, Vala Mal Doran, Colonel Carter." Teal'c smiled as he helped the women to stand.
"Thank you." they answered in unison.
Cam and Daniel merely glanced at each other for a moment before returning their attention to their team mates. The archaeologist's eyes fell on their weapons in suspicion.
"Where did you get those? And what are they?"
"These?" Vala held up the sleek weapon with a proud grin. "They're like laser pistols. Very slim and easy to conceal on your person. I bought them when we got the outfits."
"I don't even want to know where you were concealing them." Cam muttered as he stood.
"Well, as you said...we were dressed to kill."
He only shook his head and walked away. The women laughed and did the same, leaving behind a slack-jawed archaeologist, an amused Jaffa, and a room full of very confused SGC personnel.
The End