A/N: Okay,… I know you'd think why I wrote this one without even publishing the next chapter of FFWI first. I'm not done with the typing yet so I think I'd do this one for the meantime. It should be out soon. Thanks' for the reviews! Anyway this is rated M for some limey content…no,- CITRUS. Anybody offended with sex scenes should hit the back button right away. This is my first time to write a limey REALLY so gomenasai if this is lame…: 3
Flames are allowed because I know that it would be easier for you to criticize this one…^o^ I needed it anyway. No pain no gain right?
Papa Roach's song "SCARS" and ZARD's Yureru Omoi helped this one come up with the story. This is not a songfic though. I think all would never have to guess how it has to relate to this couple.. I strongly encourage anyone to listen to these songs if you haven't heard it. Well, here it goes…
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kenshin. He's with me, though so I'm happy enough. Ha-ha.
TEAR MY HEART OPEN
Kenshin made his way inside the dojo feeling a bit odd. He never imagined sake would bring him this feeling, for he never had let sake take over his body even once. The last minutes of his drinking with Sano and some of his friends he figured out that he already missed almost half of his life drinking, save his stay with Hiko. He remembered when he was 15 years old; he used to drink with his master, savoring the taste of sake sometime by the moonlight. Hiko had once said that sake tasted good depending on the season and if you have someone to drink with. He wouldn't understand why his shishou tells him this. His mind moved on to the next events of his history.
"Of course" he thought "I used to drink sake with her….. "Reminiscing his adolescence "…Tomoe" he mumbled under his breath. He remembered her saying the words exactly just like Hiko had said it.
FLASHBACK
"Mmm… the sake tastes good,…" he said taking a sip " I wonder if it's the season" he says as he finished the cup.
She poured another cup for him. " …Sake tastes better if you had someone to drink with.." she said with one of those neutral look on her face.
END OF FLASHBACK
Sano had fallen asleep when Kenshin left him in his place. He didn't bother to wake him up because he might force Kenshin to drink more until he passed out too. He would be damned if he came back to Kaoru too drunk to even stand up. He kept himself from losing his balance when he reached the gate to the dojo. Stepping forward, he saw a familiar figure. He didn't even need an amount of light to recognize who it was. There she is, Kaoru had fallen asleep outside the enogawa waiting for him. Being the trained shihandai she was, she opened her eyes when she felt his presence.
"Kenshin.." she said, fisting her yukata to meet him.
"Tadaima…. He said in a drowsy voice in between hiccups.
"Mou-!" she realized she was planning on slapping him, but instead she met him with her steady arms.
"..Okaeri.."
"Gomenasai, Kaoru-dono", he flashed his rurouni smile to her. "…you shouldn't have worried for this one too much.." he said as he opened his eyes to met hers.
Suddenly, she saw it, his eyes were as not its usual color. She caught flecks of amber between his gaze like the one she had seen in his battousai mode. "it seems like he's so far away.."
"Sano must've pushed him to his limit,…" she thought "that rooster-head's going to get it tomorrow." She mumbled
"Maa,maa..Kaoru-dono… sessha could handle himself" he insisted, trying to free himself out of her support.
"NO KENSHIN! You're too drunk! Look at yourself!" she stammered.
Kenshin was only a thread-far from falling on his knees. It's a funny thing he was able not to crawl his way back to the dojo.
Kaoru had been insisting that she come with them this afternoon, but she felt that it's better for him to have his 'men' friends to drink with him once in a while. She led him inside, one arm supporting his back and the other on his damp chest while he let his arm curl over her feminine yet strong shoulders. His body lunged in forward, gradually giving in to slumber.
"sheesh" Kaoru hissed under her breath.
"He's a worse drunk than Yahiko." The kid had been staying over at Tae's since he started working at the Akabeko so they were the only ones this night. Sliding the shoji open, they stepped into his room. With a thud, she dropped her knees to the floor setting him against the wall. He heard her coming out, then after a few seconds, she returned with a basin of lukewarm water and a towel. Setting it aside, she went rummaging his cupboards, searching for his yukata. Her hands found the neatly folded garment and stepped back to him.
She brushed his bangs away from his face, his gaze not letting go of her. Suddenly, that feeling stirred in his stomach at having someone care so much for him like a submissive wife to her husband.
" Sake tastes better if you had someone to drink with.." the words echoed in his mind
He looked at the young woman beside him. Of course, they had already drank sake together with their friends. But it was different compared to what he would have shared with her alone.
He watched with intent eyes as she dipped the towel to the water and settled on wiping his face. He his eyes slid close and groaned at feeling the warm cloth over his face. A blush crept from her neck when she felt his eyes studying her. He propped his head back, allowing her more access to his chest. She wiped his forehead then slid down to his jaw slightly brushing over his X shaped scar. His mind wandered on his frail thoughts. He might have asked her to drink sake with him right at this moment but felt that it might be too forward since he himself had already been drunk.
Finally, it's time for her to change his clothes. She moved closer enough to sniff at him.
"you smell terrible.." she uttered. He gave a small chuckle until he felt his gi sliding off his shoulders.
He opened his eyes for a bit. Kaoru was flushed red. Her head was thrown to her side, somewhat embarrassed at the sight. She fought to struggle with her own emotions. Anybody could have done the same to a drunk man! Umm… to be specific a handsome drunk man. At least she would make it comfortable enough for him to rest. When it came to his hakama, she hesitated, but she managed to continue until what's only left on him is his loincloth. She rubbed him thoroughly while kneading his strained muscles every once in a while. She couldn't count how many moans had escaped from his lips when she did this. She turned to pick up his yukata when Kenshin's hand grabbed her wrist.
"Kaoru,.."
She froze when she heard his voice. He had called her name without the formal honorific.
"perhaps you should be clothed first, ne?" she said. He withdrew his grip on her. Spreading his yukata over his shoulders in a fluid motion, her hand came up to the cord binding the yukata close and fixing his collar closed against his chest. Her hands came to remove the band from his hair sending the silken mass trailing down his shoulders. She combed him with her hands, slipping her slender fingers between his fiery mane.
"Kenshin,.." it was merely a whisper but he opened his eyes to her instantly. "…what is it that you wanted to say earlier?" she murmured as if her own voice lulled him to sleep.
She noticed his eyes burn into a deep gold. She knew it. Kenshin's not here.
"Kaoru,.." he bagan in a deep baritone "…drink with me.."
Knowing that he is just as drunk as she thought him he might be still dreaming that he was still drinking. But other part of her tells her that the one she's dealing with here is the Battousai. He's had enough dose of alcohol for the day.
She smiled at him. That smile told him that he mustn't be asking so much to her. "But It's not that much!" he thought. He just wanted her to drink with him, the way he had with Tomoe. Still, he believed that it's not fair to search for something that Tomoe had and she hadn't. But something tells him that there is more to her and he is bent on finding it out.
Kaoru thought that if she agreed she might be able to persuade him to sleep right away then she wouldn't have to submit to everything he asks.
"..okay, but you must rest first, that could wait for tomm –"
In an instant, he was gone. The idiot wouldn't take no for an answer. So this is what happens when the battousai get drunk …no,.. the rurouni is the one who's drunk. The other side isn't.
This is going to be a heck of a night
Shoving her own remorse, she began spreading his futon and by the time she had smoothed the surface, he returned with a small bottle of sake and a cup in hand. Guess I have no choice. She would allow herself a cup or two then that's it. Whether he liked it or not she would force him to rest before he gets any worse.
"Umm…. I think you're forgetting something, there's two of us" she remarked at the single cup he held. Unless he's drinking straight from the container.
He didn't took notice of her, instead he sat down on the futon facing her. He started pouring the liquid into the smooth ceramic cup and as she was waiting for him to offer it to her he drank it down. Eh? He's not really expecting me to drink it straight from the container, is he?
He felt it. It was amusing to feel her ki surge in such a rage. He finished his cup and poured another one. This time, it's for her .
She was going to accept it. He's going to make her drink it. She caught a glint of "I told you so" in his eyes. Snatching the cup from him, she paused for a while and at the same time keeping her warriors instinct not to upset this other side of Kenshin. For all she had known the other Kenshin wouldn't have done this thing in the first place. She placed the cup near her lips, giving the cup a slight turn to avoid the spot the battousai's lip had touched. He watched her do this and he smiled inwardly. She's so innocent.
She felt him stare at her intently with those smoldering eyes. She couldn't fathom if it was the sake sending warmth over her body or the flush of her skin while Battousai watched her. But the sake was incredibly delicious! I didn't know we're keeping a bottle of such a kind!
"where did you get this Kenshin?" she asked instead
"we had that in the kitchen the whole time,.." he answered as-a-matter-of-factly.
She knew they had a small amount kept but she didn't remember that it tasted this good! She laid down the now-empty cup when he began pouring again. She snatched the container from him and poured it down herself. Maybe this should appeal to him a bit.
He lifted the cup back to his mouth. He didn't bother to avoid her spot, instead he let his lips hit exactly the same spot her mouth had left. Smirking, he closed his lips over it and Kami, it tasted sweeter! He had given himself what he shouldn't have taken. Regretting his actions, he abruptly set it down without even finishing the whole drink.
Aware of the rising in his ki she searched for answers in his eyes.
"..something wrong Kenshin?" he didn't answer. He stood up and hurried outside, leaving a confused Kaoru alone in the futon.
XXX
What am I thinking just now? He growled at himself. Guilt goaded him
He stopped by the well, his face hot from the burning sensation he felt upon tasting her lips – although not directly. He touched his cheek and his fingers found its way through his scar. This is wrong! He needed something to cool down his nerves. He lifted up a bucket of water above his head, but before he soaked himself, Kaoru jumped in the next second and had stepped in front of him, snatching the bucket from him. She got half- drenched at the action.
"oh crap,…now I'm the one whose wet!" she infuriated.
Putting the bucket aside, she tried to regain her composure but it came out..
"Kenshin no BAKA!" she exclaimed " I have gotten into enough trouble changing your clothes and putting you to bed, now you're getting yourself drenched!"
Sometimes in the day she caught the rurouni doing the same habit. She never imagined that this is just one of the same things that the two sides share in common. Now she messed with it. She threw her braided hair behind her back and that instant, he felt his muscles tightening.
From the look of things, Battousai should be the one telling her this. Scanning her features he could almost make out her nipples which almost stood out clearly through the thin material of her thin, now-damped-robe. He's thankful for the dark to hide some of her lecherous features from his sight because he knew he would ravish her immediately if it weren't so.
He grew hotter. The proof of his hunger was hard against his lower regions. He combed back his hair and sighed.
He couldn't stand seeing her in such a tempting situation. Right now, her yukata, almost open to valley between her breasts gave him a hint of those alabaster skin she hid from him and she stood almost a breath away from his touch.
"Leave me alone…" the statement almost shocked her. But it sounded more like a question rather than a command. Full of doubts.
She would not leave. This is not his time to be stubborn.
"No!" she stood firmly and continued "..you have to go back to your room and rest, you've drank too much sake!"
She's not showing fear, no, not even to this man. She had just seen the Battousai in situations when he was desperate to save her. Would he hurt her? No. for If he meant to hurt her, he could have done so.
She was staring directly at his eyes, reading everything..including his confusions. Her eyes burned, reflecting and deflecting his anger back to him. Blue orbs fought against his gaze leaving his emotions vulnerable.
She could read him. Just like she thought, he was out on that dark ethereal again. She could make out all of his emotions. There were too many, she just couldn't distinguish one from the other. Like colorful signs in Tokyo during a festival. She would get lost in them. Too close. Yet he still wouldn't let her inside. He had closed the door the instant he had just opened it.
His rurouni side loved her. There's no doubt about it and he had no thoughts of revealing it to her, not yet. He knew what he felt for her right now was just the rurouni's feelings recurring. But he realized it isn't when he took the urge to bent down and kiss her. He forgot his internal joust when he got lost to the new sensation he discovered upon kissing her.
Tomoe. She was the one who made him change his Hitokiri ways to the rurouni that he is now. The Battousai loved her. And the rurouni loved Kaoru. How could it be possible for him to love both? Or how could it be possible for his both personas to come to love the woman in his arms right now? Or was he just scared to admit that he already loved her, even at the beginning?
Her hands rest on his chest, maintaining a decent distance enough for her to push away if she wanted to. He pressed her tightly against him. What he tasted in the cup earlier was nothing compared to what he is savoring now. The kiss seemed to be begging for more as he slid his tongue between her parted lips. She gasped at feeling him invade her mouth as his tongue raked her own as if he memorizes the depth of her. Her lungs begged for air but he doesn't seem to be willing to give her any. He pulled her harder to his pulsating need.
In a quick instant, he tore his mouth away from her to let her catch her breath. Her eyes were as hot and smoldering, reflecting his own.
Was it just pure lust? He ached for her. He had denied for too long that it was just the rurouni's feelings. But with the rurouni's presence, he wouldn't be getting them in this intimate situation in the first place.
She had kissed him the way he kissed her, returning every ounce of passion he demonstrated to her. Cursing his own feelings, he held her rigidly, nuzzling her neck harshly and selfishly drinking her scent. Her being calmed his own body.
Finally, he admitted that he never felt so possessive for anyone before. Not even with Tomoe. All the respect, all the precautions he had taken not to ravish her was gone on the instant he tasted her lips.
She was purity itself. Innocence, too. Without her, he would go insane. Kaoru is the reason he was able to move on. He felt it sine they crossed each other's paths.
The way she smiled at him, her love for him which always seemed so translucent that it got herself into trouble many times. She was so worth protecting. He wanted more of her. But he didn't want her to be afraid of him. He'd have to let her inside him sooner, so she could breathe life to everything in him and they would not be separated anymore. He had her now and nothing could take her away from him.
He felt the rurouni suddenly taking over. He fought him. He knew that if he let him, he would have to lose contact with Kaoru and he had to start hunting her down again. The rurouni would not want to be too forward with his feelings to her. But perhaps the Battousai had been his way of telling her so.
"let me stay with her like this for a little more..please,…"
The rurouni didn't listen, as if he has other better plans on his own. He knew she would feel more comfortable with his aura.
She felt the shift in his grip on her. She saw how the colors in his eyes change. He was like opening an abandoned door.
Enlightenment crawled to her senses. The Battousai– no, Kenshin was opening up to her! This was her chance! Even though they were different sides of the coin, they are the one man himself, Kenshin Himura – whether it be the rurouni or the Hitokiri.
Her hands made their way to his face, allowing her to have a closer look to the knowledge he let her read in his eyes.
She understood.
He had closed himself for so long and the emotions welling up in her heart were inconsumable. Tears slid down his face all the way through his X- shaped scar. The feeling burned him. Kaoru leans forward and catches the tears between her lips, kissing the scar in his cheek. With only that, he blinked back tears again. Now his emotions were tears welling up his face. That simple kiss told him anything. It held so much concern,… so much understanding,….so much love.
At last, he let somebody in his heart. He was afraid for he knew that if he did, the same thing could happen again. And he wouldn't be able to take it for the second time. Yes, he loved Kaoru, with every fiber of his being.
Kaoru was overwhelmed by his tears. Since he stayed with her, she kept telling herself that it was only his compassion to help her continue his father's ideals and at the same time, carry on his own will not to kill. But tonight, they let both of themselves cross their boundaries. No wall stood their way to understanding each other now.
Even though he didn't allow it, the moment he opened his eyes, he was back again to his rurouni self. Still holding her slender body against his.
"Kaoru…" he hesitated "…Kaoru – dono.." he mumbled as the tears slid down his violet orbs.
She gave him a convincing frown at the sound of him addressing her again. He chuckled to himself.
"Kaoru,.." he kept his voice from breaking. She smiled at that. He just wasn't used to calling her by her name in his normal self.
They both leaned in forward to rest against each other's forehead. She threw her arms over his shoulders while his hands closed around her waist. They both chuckled sweetly as their noses bumped. After a few seconds, his tears ceased and realized he had wet her cheeks, too.
"Gomen,….sessha didn't mean to –.." he was cut off
"Don't!..I know,..there's nothing to be sorry about Kenshin.." Kaoru purred beneath his lips as they once again stirred in a passionate kiss. This time with Himura Kenshin kissing her. For the second time, she let him invade her mouth willingly, teasing her with the movements of his tongue. He tasted like ginger in her mouth with the hint of sake, of course..^_^
Then she remembered how they got out here in the first place. He had been drunk, but is it the reason he was able to open up to her? Shaking off her own regrets, she sniffed him, realizing that the smell of sake had already fainted. Kaoru knew better because she herself only had a cup.
When the kiss ended, she saw him looking at her eyes, noticing some flecks of gold in his amused violet ones. She was so sure he was dead-drunk minutes ago, but she's just as sure that all that happened just now was not a result his drunken state. Battousai had told her this.
She passed out in seconds, then she opened her eyes realizing that she was back in his room. He had carried her back while nuzzling her neck, crooning her to let him take over her. When she felt herself gently laid on the futon, His futon, his mouth had found hers again, smothering her with kisses she believed she wouldn't be able to taste from him before. When she comprehended what was coming, she pushed him slightly, but he didn't took the hint.
Kami-sama! He was strong!
He knew she was inexperienced. But he wanted her so much it shook him. He would make her first time something she would always remember. She didn't know what he expected from her.
"Kenshin…, you're drunk.." she didn't trust her voice on this, but he crashed back and tangled her tongue in his.
"Shussh…. koi,… I'm not drunk,.." he said between his kisses "but perhaps you would let me get drunk of you,.." he silenced her with light kisses, not getting enough of her taste.
He smirked as he left her mouth and began nibbling down to her collarbone. His eyes caught the forgotten sake near the futon and in an instant; he had already drenched her with the remaining alcoholic liquid. He watched intently, eyes half-closed as it slipped between the valley between her breasts and down to the sides of her neck.
He growled at the sight of her flushed skin. He bent down, following the trail of sake licking and nipping her skin and sucked on the nape of her neck, leaving a visible mark.
"Hime – koi,"…."Mine,.." he growled loud enough for her to hear. Shivers tingled her spine.
His possessiveness shocked her. It's as if she belongs to no one but him but she was happy at the thought. His hand slid her robe off and later she found that she was bare to his hands. He was exploring her, memorizing her curves, wanting her like no one did and no one will. His eyes widened at the sight of her enchanting alabaster skin he knew no man has ever touched. His lips soon studied her, giving her soft skin moist kisses and left love bites whenever he lingered.
Throbbing hunger treaded her womanly regions when Kenshin caught her nipple between his fingers. He began grasping it, molding it perfectly in his palms.
She almost screamed when his mouth substituted the caresses his hand had done, pulling it between his raking teeth. The slight span of his tongue engorging her hard peaks sent her waves of pleasure.
He smirked at seeing her enjoying his touches. It made him feel more excited. He had fantasies about her, but never in his wildest dreams did she tasted like this. strength and beauty dissolved in a supple taste. Sweet and salty with the aroma of jasmine.
"you're more delicious than sake, koishii" he said beneath her silent moans. His voice covered her like silk, casting her in a world where she could only fall in his velvety arms.
He desperately rubbed his engorged thickness on her belly, trying to find relief. He needed to be inside her, but not yet. He still has to learn more of her and teach her his ways before his own pleasure.
Kaoru didn't have any ideas when Kenshin began undressing. She just saw him stark naked and, Oh! – how big he is. She had never seen any man aroused before. She began to be nervous about herself. Would she satisfy him? Is she enough for him? What if she failed?
He had plans for her. Wild ones. And he thanked Kami-sama for the gift of being her first.
Her body shuddered when she felt his own body pressed against her. Plaguing her aches. She could feel his hardness rubbing her belly. Capturing his lips again, she tried her best to return the pleasure to him by biting his lower lip in tiny cat-like strokes. A groan escaped his chest when she bit his lips and nibbled on it.
"You're challenging me, koi?" he asked harshly, hovering above her. She arched her back, begging him to come down again for a kiss.
"It depends on what challenge you call it,.." she ran her fingers over his chest sending electric streams in his blood.
He bent down again, this time he wasn't gentle. He was ravishing her without the discipline he'd been holding back. The tip of his tongue traced the planes of her face and brushed above her eyelashes. He'd been wondering how her eyes would feel beneath his lips. The sapphire orbs he admired. She smiled at the new touch he taught her and he continued to lick down to her breasts, lingering above them again and again, treating both globes with the same actions that sent pleasure melting her bones. She let a cry when he suckled and swallowed it. He went ever so gently when her nipples were already swollen by his ruthless caress.
His tongue continued its paused trek when he finished his assaults on her breasts to her belly button. Then down to her navel and finally stopped at the spot he knew was his final destination.
He held her legs wide, but not wide enough to hurt her. She helped him by holding up her ankles in an open invitation, giving him fuller access to her hidden heat. She yelped when he touched her clitoris. And he settled on opening her folds he heard her moan his name again and again as he fondled her wet bud.
A smirk plastered on his face when he found it and inserted two fingers inside her virgin opening. His fingers stroked her gently, then violently, enjoying her grip tightening around him. He dug deeper slightly twisting his fingers around to tickle her in pleasure.
"OoOhHhh… Ke-Ken.." she moaned helplessly.
She felt herself explode and Kenshin felt her coming. Warm silken juices flowed out to his fingers as he began to pump in and out of her. Thrusting his fingers faster, he earned more moans from her. Sexy cries escaped her parted lips as he slowly quickened his pace. She came for the second time then he withdrew, sucking his fingers fully in his mouth, tasting her arousal."Mmmm… like what I thought, she's more delicious than sake…" he thought.
Her juices dripped unstoppable from her clit as she catches her breath when Kenshin dropped his ankles in the futon and held her thighs wide. He kept her twitching form under his vise grip as he licked the juices that leaked through her clit. Her moans were louder this time, begging him for more.
She fisted his bloody mane through her hands as he lapped her, teasing her with his mouth and tongue. He opened her wide and dipped his tongue in as far as he could go, she cried out in ecstasy as she came again. He drank her fully, his lips covering her core.
He sat up licking his lips clean. She felt her legs sore of multiple spasms she went through. He positioned himself just outside of her.
"Gomen ne, Kaoru…. This might hurt a little…" he whispered in her ears as he brushed away tendrils of hair from her eyes..
In a single thrust, he was inside her. He covered her mouth in his to cover her moans. His tongue gently coaxes her to accept the pain for an instant. After some seconds, she shifted herself, finally getting used to his manhood inside her. She hugged her legs behind his waist, welcoming him fully. He began thrusting in a moderate pace, then time after time he gained quicker pace as he thrust hardly inside her. Deeper, I need to be deeper within her his mind told himself.
His eyes glowed like the sun as he slammed himself fully within her. With a last shudder they came together. They were joined finally and she was branded as his. The pain slowly died away sending them waves of pure pleasure. She felt his thickness exploding his heat inside her, filling her, reaching all the points of her being. She came to him, too. Molding her hips perfectly against his, she rocked herself to him. They melted in a world of silent bliss as their heartbeat became one.
Without losing contact, he pulled her closer to him, wishing for the sensation to last longer. He could feel her own breathing as if it were his own. So, this is how it feels to be joined together. Their breathing reverberated through the room as it became music to their ears.
She inhaled his scent. Pure male arousal, pinewood musk and ginger. She felt too spent to move when she felt his breath warm against her ears.
"Aishiteru yo, koishii…" he whispered endearingly.
Tears sprang to her eyes once more when she finally heard those three words she's been yearning to hear from him. Three words which meant the world for her. She encircled her arms around his slender, yet masculine body. (A/N: I wish I could cuddle him like a teadybear…XQ drools )
" Aishiteru, anata" she answered him back
"Koi,…" Kenshin tilted up her face
"Hmm?.."
" I know sessha had nothing to offer to you,…but I promise I would do my all to make you happy,…" he pauses
"Marry me, Kaoru I won't be able to live without you.."
Kaoru nodded her head in acceptance. She placed feather-like kisses on the side of his lips.
"Of course, anata… I would not be able to live without you, too…."
He would protect her for the rest of his life. He surrendered his dreams for tomorrow. She smiled as they drifted off to sleep,.. promising him a future of endless happiness with her.
"I feel these swaying thoughts through my whole body
I want you to stay close to me like this forever
No matter how many lonely seasons come
I want to embrace the anxiety, in my dreams"
"Yureru Omoi" by Izumi Sakai (ZARD)
~fin~
That's it! It's one shot baby so you won't be expecting anything next…..I'm sooo bad. I think you have taken enough pleasure to yourself now indulge me by sending your reviews for this XD yeah!
…peace! T-L