I came here looking for you, for us. I somehow knew I would find you here, and that perhaps you would be able to forgive me for all the pain I caused you.

I remember those days we spent at the Amusement Park, I have never told you how much I loved those days, how much it meant to me just being with you.

I remember you admiring the view of the lake from the top o the ferris wheel, I said it was 'beautiful', but I never once saw it. I spent the whole time staring at your hand on the railing, and trying to build up the courage to reach out and hold it, but you always made me so nervous.

I told you that I loved it here, but I really only came to see you. The truth is, I always hated this place, you were the only thing that made this town worth coming to.

And now I have lost you again, I don't know where you are, or if you are still alive and it's killing me.

How do I find you again? How do I fight to get you back? I can never leave without you. You always said you felt drawn to this place, and I think I finally understand, as now I find myself unable to ever leave. It seems my memory of you belongs to the town, but I can't let you go. I can never let you go.

I remember the phone call.

She didn't say anything right away, it was just silent, but I could vaguely hear breathing coming from the receiver and I knew it was her. Frankly, she could have said nothing at all; I already knew what she was going to say.

"I want a divorce, Michael."

And who could blame her? I had the phone in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other; I'd given up using a glass as the continuous pouring was a strain on my wrist.

"Did you hear me?"

I remember being distracted by the heat, it was dark outside and the darkness seemed to hold a damp warmth that was amplified by my apartment walls and the alcohol in my system. I replied with a mumble and hung up. If she wants a divorce, she can sort it out herself and I won't stop her.

I spent most of that night watching TV and agonising over whether she could tell I was drunk over the phone.

It was only in the early hours of the morning that what she had said started to sink in; once the whiskey had dried up and I was alone with my sorry sobering state. I was no longer numbed by the booze, and was starting to feel the full force of what was happening to my life. Just what I had been trying to avoid by drinking in the first place.

I felt depressed, so depressed. I don't know if it was the guilt of what I had done, or just me feeling sorry for myself, but I was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling of pure darkness, like my apartment had descended into the deepest levels of the abyss and if I opened my front door, there would only be endless black.

I found myself thinking about her, Leanne. And my thoughts always fell back to the same place, Silent Hill.

Every year, my parents would take me to Silent Hill for a vacation. I hated it and couldn't wait till I was old enough to stay home instead. But one year, she was there. I was 15, she was 14. She too, had come with her family from another town to visit her Grandmother. This particular year, their trip coincided with ours and we met at the motel we were staying in.

Leanne and I spent all our time together, whilst our parents did their thing, we did ours. We went to the Lake Side Amusement Park a lot, and by the end of our visit, our parents had become friends too, and from then on, every year we would see them at Silent Hill.

I married her. She was so beautiful, and I wanted to dedicate my life to her. I wanted to be a husband, and her to be my wife. We both had the same ideas about marriage, she liked to cook, I enjoyed working, and we both wanted a traditional family life.

Eventually we decided to have a child, but we couldn't conceive. After a year of trying, we found that I was infertile. 'Shooting blanks', as the say. I took it bad, we stopped sleeping together, and I started drinking instead. I lost my job because I started going into work drunk, so I drank more, and got angrier and angrier. Leanne suffered years of my rage until her parents convinced her to leave. And so I ended up alone in a small studio apartment, waiting for a divorce.