Author's Note: In a state of continuous sadness, Seto Kaiba reflects on his existence and regrets his past behavior. Eventually one thing leads to another, and the wealth executive begins to crumble to ashes. First, the blue-eyed boy isolates himself and basks in shadowy loneliness. Within a short while, he loses his appetite and starts to starve himself. In the end, when he loses control of all of his senses, he can no longer distinguish between the world of fantasy and anyone or anything in the real world. Desperate to undo all of the damage he believes he has done to his friend's lives, the tall teenager feels that suicide is the best action he can take.

Get out your tissue boxes for this one…if any of you reading this have endured the sight of a really good ally suffering from any of the mental diseases listed above, you know that their effects can be extremely detrimental…even lethal.

Disclaimer: Contains some yaoi (which happens to be one-sided), specifically Seto Kaiba sharing his romantic interest in Joey Wheeler. Mild language (maybe one or two words in the whole story). Poor Seto suffers from the following mental disorders: insomnia, deep depression, and a slight case of anorexia. Some graphic violence (for self-mutilation). Lastly, attempted suicide.

Diabolical Demise

Greetings and salutations to whoever is reading this now, for I can only hope that this letter will reach the hands of those who knew me best of all. You are about to hear the last words of the creator of KaibaCorp. , a wealthy executive who only spared enough time to hold office meetings and play with high-tech toys. That's right…I've had enough. No more developing the latest style of video games, pouring every ounce of my energy into fine tuning duel deck systems, or updating even my own database networks. I'm through with it all, completely fed up with my robotic work that only an android could be content doing. You can only stay glued to a monitor screen for so long until you realize that you're becoming as cold and isolated as the computer itself. I'm tired, so totally exhausted with the way people compare me to a machine all the damn time. They treat me like a bitter metallic device that only deals with finances and Internet connections, complaining that I just stay in my own little world of chipboards and wires. The truth hurts even more than I ever expected it to, for I finally understand why such cruel remarks were made about me. That's all right, though…everyone can relax and breathe easier now, since I'm going to eliminate all the stress I've brought into everyone's lives. Just give me a few moments to say my final farewells to some of the individuals that greatly affected my existence.

Mokuba, the only living relative I have left, you kept me going all these years and motivated me to bring all of my seemingly impossible dreams to life. I couldn't have asked for a better brother than you, for you gave me a reason to continue to strive and put my back into anything I wanted to achieve. Even in our orphanage years, you provided me with enough incentive to become someone you could be proud of. Ultimately, I hope that you will remember me as more than just some guy that was a wonderful technology manager, but also someone who loved and cared for you very much. As soon as I draw my last sigh, the family business shall become yours to own and operate. I know you won't let me down because you're a great inventor, too. This will give you a chance to test out all those new ideas you had for the company to put to use. Have fun, play hard, and try not to work as hard as I did…if you waste your life being obsessed with laptops, then you're going to be in the same sorry state I'm finding myself in at the moment. Use the brains that you were born with to know when to pull away from the drawing board and get some rest. You can always come back to whatever plans you thought up at the crack of dawn.

Let's see, who's next to address on my agenda? Ah yes, the famous King of Games, Yugi Mutou. Surprised that I would even give you a second thought in a document of this caliber? Don't be, since the following statements will probably be potent enough to blow you away. My foe, my life-long opponent, my rival complete…you are truly an amazing person. I mean it; you really are an intriguing human being. Not only are you talented at strategic games such as duel monsters; you possess quite an intellectual nature that even puts my intelligence to the test. It's not very often that I admit to anyone openly that they are able to give me the challenging atmosphere I desire, much less say that their skills even surpass my own. I commend you for your efforts at Duelist Kingdom, for you displayed far greater genius than I did in winning the tournament. Losing to you that first time did something for me that no other adversary had done before…you forced me to take a hard look at not just the fashion in which I handled my cards, but at my personality as well as my philosophies on life in general. You helped me to evolve into a more well rounded individual with a heart, a passion for all living things. More specifically, you helped me to shuffle through my haughty, arrogant ways and blossom into a rich soul capable of dealing with my own insecurities. I only wish that I could have pushed my jealousy aside long enough to acquire a deeper relationship with you. I must say, in another lifetime or so, we could have been good comrades…the very best of friends. I'll look for you in the afterlife, so that idle thought of mine may be a reality for us some day. Who knows, it could happen…it very well might. Don't forget me, okay? And try to let your memories of me be filled with more than your hatred at me for being such a thick-skulled jerk. I'll make up for my crude behavior someday, you just wait and see.

Last, but not least, is the individual I have taunted endlessly ever since I had the pleasure of meeting his acquaintance. Why I had brutally insulted the poor guy is something I can't even explain, so don't ask me to. All I know is that this is my last shot to make things right. Joey Wheeler, wherever you are, I'm going to perform the one action that has the capability to send you into total insanity: I'm going to apologize right here and now for all the idiotic humiliation I put you through. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for kicking you when you were down, callously referring to you as nothing more than a barking canine, and rudely belittling you in front of your best friends. There's no excuse for my terrible behavior, and a simple apology isn't going to mask the pain of being hurt so many times by my tongue-lashings. In light of such dismal matters, I am offering you half of my estate to share with my brother. I'm allowing for you and Mokuba to have the full run of the mansion I've resided at ever since I moved to this city, along with three summer and winter homes in Maine, Vermont, and Colorado. The lush gardens, bushes cut into a full-scale labyrinth, water fountains, and rich home furnishings imported from various countries in Europe are now your responsibility. Please take good care of my manors, they brought me a large amount of joy while I lived in them, and I can only dream that they will bring you the same happiness as they did for me.

Speaking of the realm of dreams, I have a confession to make. This still concerns you, Jou, so don't put down this note just yet. I have battled with my emotions ever since the last time our paths had crossed. After I retired to my bedroom, dressed and ready to sleep away the bad points of the day, my mind kept me awake. Weak and weary on my mattress, I kept seeing images of a certain bouncy blond in my grasp, cuddling up to me in the most intimate of positions. No matter how much I begged my brain to stop thinking about such wild circumstances, I continued to fantasize how wonderful it would be if I could hold the person in my dreams…how completely divine it would be if the fair-skinned adolescent could become more than just a resident of my heart while I slept. You know what I'm talking about and what I have been dreaming of.

I need you. I want you. I love you.

That's right, Jounouchi…I have vocalized the one phrase that no one has ever heard me say before. Not even my own brother has listened to me tell him that. I hold this strong desire to fall upon my knees in front of your heavenly form and give you a list of praises that is longer than any poetry anthology created. If there was one thing I wish I could purchase for you and you alone, it would be an angel with an incredibly pure heart that could sing to you about all of your breathtaking qualities. Throughout my many travels in life, I have learned that there are some things that money cannot purchase. Unfortunately, an enchanting celestial spirit is one of those priceless beings. And so is your affection. I know all of the millions I've made in computer-based projects can only take me so far on this plane of existence. Money can't buy me the happiness that enlightened souls have achieved through deep spiritual searching, and it can't buy me the love I have been seeking in my daydreams. But maybe--just maybe--I can find at least one useful way to spend my fortune. On the bright side of such a dismal letter, I can take this last opportunity to right everything to you that I have done wrong. Please accept the merchandise I am giving to you…the items I hand to you this will may be costly, but they pale in comparison to the precious quality of your voice. Joey Wheeler, you are literally a one-of-a-kind individual, and the person you choose as a lover will be eternally lucky to have and hold you for the rest of their born days.

In conclusion, I wish all of you the best of luck, and I hope that everyone will attain their own level of contentment. Happiness is an extremely valuable commodity; so don't foolishly throw away the chance of obtaining it like I did.

Yours Truly,

Seto Kaiba

Pleased with the typed version of his note, the dark-haired teenager smiled to himself. Now he could finally put to rest all of his mixed feelings, and no one would be able to prevent him from doing so. Opening the desk drawer beside his computer, the blue-eyed boy pulled out the device that would end his tortured life. Stroking the silky contours of the weapon, he picked up a nearby washcloth and proceeded to clean off the dust particles settling on it. When it was polished to perfection, Seto tossed the rag on top of a stack of books piled beside his work area.

On any other separate occasion, the director of KaibaCorp would have carried the used towel to his chambermaid so she could take care of it later with the rest of the laundry. This wasn't one of his neat-freak hours, though. Matter of fact, he had been going against his tendency to be a perfectionist for quite a while. In the place he was currently staying in, his belongings were stranded from one end of the living space to the other, appearing as if he had experienced some type of home invasion. Countless pieces of stationary lay scattered over the redwood finish of his desk, masking the furniture in a papier-mâché like fashion. Volumes of web page design books were either over-turned or sitting open to pages that the technology wizard had no intention of reading. Various kinds of writing utensils decorated his prized Chinese rugs, the ink from the pens seeping out onto the expensive carpets. Even the wealthy executive's most treasured possession, his custom-built laptop, was taking on a ragged look similar to its surroundings. The PC's buttons were scratched and in desperate need of repair, some of them were stuck down in the keyboard and horribly out of working order. Kaiba's typing instrument had suffered a crash in its hard drive a week ago, and he only made a half-hearted effort at reviving his beloved computer. Truthfully, he couldn't care less if most of the programs in his network were ineffective, or if its sound system was in a terrible state of disarray. He wasn't concerned if his half of the mansion went to hell and never came back. Seto didn't even bother to feed himself on a regular basis anymore, much less call his in-door room service to take care of his messy quarters. How long had it been since the cobalt-eyed boy had actually sat down and had a bite to eat? Five or six days? It could have been longer than that, but he was so delirious at this stage in his life that he couldn't bring himself to produce a logical thought.

Switching his monitor to screen-saver mode, the dazed teenager fingered the shiny toy he held. Cold metal sliced open his smooth flesh causing a little river of red to trickle down his hand. His grin widened at the way the sticky liquid felt on his skin, the manner in which it slipped across the blade of the knife he had. It was the first sensation he was capable of feeling in months. Kaiba had spent half a year sliding in and out of reality, dancing on the fault line of insanity and a point beyond that. Before he was able to comprehend the dangerous repercussions of his actions, he fell victim to the jeering voices in his head and started to go numb. As the sun continuously rose and traded places with its counterpart, the moon, the blue-eyed boy lost touch with the world around him, isolating himself within the corridors of his own residence. Nothing mattered anymore. Not a damn thing.

"Mmm…feels good…" murmured the dark-haired adolescent, watching with bizarre delight as the blade entered his wound even further. "I've almost forgotten how delicious actions like these were."

Self-mutilation was highly common to the director of KaibaCorp, for it was something he did just to let himself know that he was still alive. Sometimes, he would be consumed by such deep depression that he had trouble understanding if he was dead or barely existing. The truth of the situation was that the cobalt-eyed teen was someone who was apparently struggling to survive on a day-by-day basis. He had no break from his manic personality disorder, but he was too far-gone in his little universe of pure chaos to worry about what would become of him. His days were centered around walking the halls of his home, looking like a soulless zombie seeking a victim for a bloody cult ritual. When the stars scattered themselves across the heavens, the brown-haired adolescent surfed the Internet for hours on end until the sun peeked out of the sky. Suffering from a severe case of insomnia, the tall teenager jumped from chat room to message board, trying to find others who shared his pain of unrequited love. All he came across were the usual perverts asking for graphic images of himself and clubs overflowing with individuals who were only children. No one in the vast world of cyberspace seemed interested in having an adult-oriented conversation. Aggravated with the selfish behavior of the humans attached to the web, Seto sighed to himself.

/Was I as egocentric and self-diluted as those I have spoken to on MSN Messenger? / the arctic-eyed boy idly wondered as he petted the sharp edge of his knife. /Did I simply dismiss people who were in dire need of a conversation as low-life rejects? Was I so arrogant then that I needed to find someone to bring me back down to Earth? /

Kaiba already knew the answers to his own questions. Someone had smacked him--literally--and brought him down off of his rich high horse to meet the rest of civilization.

"Joey…" whispered the manager of KaibaCorp, recalling the spirited person's name who had broken through all of the malicious insults to see the soul that was being held back. "Where are you now?"

Bouncing upright in his chair, the wealthy executive propped his feet up on his desk. Jou, who was Yugi's best friend, was probably hanging out with the spiky-haired boy at the moment. Seto could imagine the blond driving the poor magenta-eyed teen absolutely crazy, hopping in and out of mall stores like a kid who forgot to take their A.D.D. medicine that day. Even shy, soft-spoken Mutou had problems keeping his wild ally under control, since he was too short and unable to throw a decent punch. There were some occasions in which the smack-talking teenager really tried his friends' patience, but at least Tristen put him in his place by leveling him with a few well-placed blows to the stomach. Even after the brawls with one of his best buddies, the blond recovered quickly and reverted back to pestering the group in no time at all. A small smile appeared on Kaiba's shadowy face, making him look more hideous than ever. As scary as the thin teenager might have seemed to anyone passing by his private quarters, this was actually an improvement in his life. This was the first sign of genuine happiness he had displayed in months. Unfortunately, the content smirk would not be there to stay, for he sculpted his visage into its former expression upon seeing his reflection on his PC's screen.

/I don't deserve a perpetual state of bliss because I've interfered with so many people's happiness. They should have killed me by now, since I was so horrible to them. / thought the blue-eyed boy with remorse, skinning his hand by scraping the flesh off of his palm. Gritting his teeth in agony, he suppressed the urge to cry out. Trembling violently, Kaiba tilted the corners of his mouth up in a jaded grin. /That's all right, though…I can make up for all of the horrendous actions I've committed in the past. All I have to do is find enough strength to follow through with what I'm about to do. /

Gripping the pocketknife with a shaky fist, Seto proceeded to flay himself alive.