Disclaimer: I Do not own Full Metal Alchemist. I just enjoy bending and twisting things that don't belong to me to my will! Mwahahahahaha!
Hokay, so, here's the thing. My name is Puppy. I'm the writer. My two best friends are Kiyomi Mizuhara-san but I call her B.T. How you get B.T. outta Kiyomi Mizuhara-san, I dunno. My other best friend is Gary. She's a girl who is obsessed with Ed, and Wrath. Why? I dunno.
B.T.: Face it, Pup. There's a lot you dunno.
Gary: Where are we going?
Puppy: You'll see. Let's just get on with this already?
B.T.&Gary: YAYA!
In the office of Colonel Roy Mustang...
Roy: I don't know how much of this I can take!
Ed: Oh, great. What are you whining about now?
Roy: There is absolutely nothing to do! I'm so bored, I think I'm gonna gouge my own eyes out!
Fuher King Bradely A.K.A Pride:runs in with his sword Let me assist you with that!
Roy:covers his eyes Don't speak of such evil! Hawkeye!
Riza:pulls out her trusty pistol and fires at the Fuher/homunculus
Bradely:grabs a rope and swings out of the building, ala Indiana Jones I'll get you for this, Roy! and your little First Lt. too! AHAHAHAHA!gets hit by a bus
Havoc: Oh God! What did I hit! Oh well.gets back in bus and continues driving
Riza:looking out the window. I think Havoc killed the Fuher!
Ed: So? you shot him.
Suddenly Fury runs in with a stack of papers but no tissue.
Roy: So, Fury. Have you found anything out?
Riza: Found anything out? On what?
Ed: What are you researching?
Fury:sets papers on Ed's lap Well, sir. After much careful observation and testing, I have been led to a rather fitting hypothesis.
Roy, Ed&Riza: And?...
Fury: I am led to believe there is something in my nose.
Roy:...you're fired.
Fury: Great! I'll go buy some Kleenex. walks out humming Indiana Jones' theme song
Roy: I like his vigor. Hawkeye, remind me to enlist him in the military.
Riza:exasperated sigh Whatever you say, sir...
meanwhile at Puppy's house...
Everyone is stuck on the roof of a two story house and all the windows are locked. It has been three hours in the hot summer sun with no lemons or cheese whatsoever.
B.T.:How the holy lemon did we get out here in the first place?
Puppy:I like lemons!
Gary:I like cheese!
B.T.:...nevermind...
Puppy:I'm bored.
Gary:Me too.
B.T.:Maybe you could be a bit more productive somehow.
Puppy:Really? like how?
B.T.:Well, how about helping me think of a way to get down from here without breaking our necks?
Gary: Yaya! that'll pass time.
two hours later
Gary:I got nuthin'.
B.T.:Same here.
Puppy:I GOT IT!makes Gary and BT jump
Gary&BT: Got what?
Puppy:Milk!holds out caron of milk
Gary: Milk!happy starry eyes
BT:How long have you had that!
Puppy: I just got it! but I don't like milk so...throws it off the side of the roof.
Gary: NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MILK!starts crying
BT:starts strangling Puppy YOU INCOMPOTENT! IF YOU DON'T LIKE MILK, BUT YOU HAVE MILK, YOU BE A SIMI-SMART HOSTESS AND OFFER IT TO YOUR PARCHED GUESTS!
Puppy:Oi. Howzabout I make it up to you two?
Gary:still crying How do you plan on doing that?
Puppy:coughs up some kind of portal thing Jump on in!
BT:Dude! you just coughed that thing up! and you expect us to...Puppy pushes BT in the portal
Puppy: Your turn, Gary.
Gary:jumps in the portal humming espionage music The name's Bond, Gary Bond.
Puppy:Yeah, and I'm Puppy Wayne. jumps in after them as the portal closes and dissapears
Aunt Sue:opens window Are you girls done sun bathing yet? Hello?
In the next chaapi:
What strange, new world will our heroines come across? (like you don't know) Is Fury really fired? Why is Riza mad at Roy? (when is she not?)
Why is Roy burning everything in sight?(when is he not?) And where on Earth is Ed? dun dun dun! What is the secret of YaYa? What is the secret of Puppy's, Gary's and BT's strange nicknames? Find out the answers to these startling questions on the second chapter of...You're Making My Brain Itch!