I could feel their eyes gazing at my body longingly. Them analyzing my every move as I danced across the stage.
I knew they were all undressing me with their perverted lust filled eyes. Though there wasn't much left to the imagination. I was only wearing a black lacy thong and a matching bra. With knee high black three-inch heels.
Ha what kind of uniform is this?
It was sick, but that's what they came for. They paid to see this and if I wanted to see that money then I danced.
Yes I was at a strip club.
And yes right now I was dancing with two other girls and a pole.
I was the entertainment and the damn best one here. I sang to the song giving it lyrics.
What's the time?
Well it's gotta be close to midnight
My body's talking to me
It says, "Time for danger"
It says "I wanna commit a crime
Wanna be the cause of a fight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt
With a stranger"
I've had a knack from way back
At breaking the rules once I learn the games
Get up - life's too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick'll dance in the flames
We don't need any money
I always get in for free
You can get in too
If you get in with me
Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna play?
Let's run away
We won't be back before its Christmas day
Take me out tonight (meow)
When I get a wink from the doorman
Do you know how lucky you'll be?
That you're on line with the feline of
Avenue B
Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna prowl
Be my night owl?
Well take my hand we're gonna howl
Out tonight
In the evening I've got to roam
Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome
Feels too damn much like home
When the Spanish babies cry
So let's find a bar
So dark we forget who we are
And all the scars from the
Nevers and maybes die
Let's go out tonight
Have to go out tonight
You're sweet
Wanna hit the street?
Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?
Just take me out tonight
Please take me out tonight
Don't forsake me - out tonight
I'll let you make me - out tonight
Tonight - tonight – tonight
Yep wouldn't my parents love the fact that I stooped so low to give lap dances to get money. Ugh why did I have to agree to do this favor for Jeff.
As I stepped out of the dressing room, wearing old ratty sweats and a dark blue thermal, I was roughly pushed up against the damp wall of the Cat Scratch (the strip club).
It was Jeff.
Damn that bastard. Damn him to hell.
He forced his tongue into my mouth. I struggled as hard as I could but this man was stronger than me. And I knew that. He moved his lips to my neck.
"What the," I gasped out of breath as one of his arms slipped under my thermal. "What the hell Jeff?"
Jeff pulled away and smirking sinisterly put his hands into my sweats. Cupping my butt, he just stood there with me pinned between him and the wall.
Groaning, I kissed him until I felt him moan against my lips. I knew people were watching.
But I didn't give a damn.
I opened my mouth letting his tongue into explore. I shivered in disgust as his slippery tongue caressed my teeth. Smiling against his lips I bit down on his tongue as hard as I could.
Jeff jumped away from me cussing a long stream of profanities. His hand whipped out smacking me a good one across my cheek. My head snapped back. I could taste the bitter taste of my blood and his in my mouth. He spit out some blood.
"You will regret that girl later. When I'm done with you, you will be so fucked up you will not even be able to stand."
Sighing, "Jeff, god, what the hell was that for?"
He smirked at me with his blond hair falling into his cold grey eyes. This boy was seriously messed up.
"You owed me." He said simply.
I calculated every shift of his body waiting for the attack. "I re-paid it in there." I said nodding towards the building he calls a business.
"Nope. See that was just a favor for you since you needed money. You owed me so I took a kiss. But you also owe me for the favor. And hell I defiantly know what I want." Jeff was staring at my chest.
Great!
He stepped closer again. This time grabbing my hands and pinning them above my head with one hand.
He once again caught my lips with his. I wanted to puke, but I couldn't. I tried to push him off and I pleaded for him to stop as he groped my breasts.
As I felt him lifting my shirt up against my pleas, he was thrown off me. I saw him go flying at the adjacent wall to mine.
Jeff lay on the ground unconscious bleeding from a nice sized cut on his forehead and a big bluish bruise was forming too. Above him a tall man stood there seething at Jeff. I looked behind me to see a big handsome man being held back by four men. He was growling as he watched the tall man pummel Jeff.
Oh god, Jeff's going to kill me later when he wakes up.
Damn, I'm in deep shit.
For some reason that sounded hilarious to me. Giggles bubbled to the surface. I saw the big handsome man straighten up and the tall man look up back at me as if I was insane.
But it was kinda funny. I mean that would be gross if you were literally in deep shit.
Then I saw recognition in the dark brown eye of the tall man.
"Bella?" His deep husky voice seemed to be choked up.
God I hope I'm not drunk or asleep.
"Jacob." It wasn't a question. I would recognize my name coming from his lips anywhere. I loved him to death. He was my best friend no matter what. It didn't matter that I haven't talked to him since I was thirteen, five years ago.
I ran into his big strong arms, as he gripped onto me tightly. As if he believed I would vanish or run away from him.
I held him just as hard maybe even harder.
"Isabella, Bella, Bella, Bells, Iz, Izzy, Isabella, Bella, Bella…" He just kept on repeating my name in that order over and over again. It was nice to hear a familiar voice that didn't come to get something from me. Though I owed Jacob my life and ten times over for what he did for me.
"Bells?"
"Yeah?" I said.
I was ecstatic to see him.
My big brother, my sun in this approaching darkness. When I saw him my whole world lit on fire. The world I knew now was blazing with light. But I knew I would have to leave Jacob. To protect him from my world. When I did leave him, I would be truly alone.
Forever in darkness.
But the next thing broke my shattered heart. "Why didn't you call me? Why did you just leave me? You're my best friend, like a little sister. But you left me that day in the woods. You ran from me and never once looked back. I was eleven years old and you left me in the forest in the dark." His eyes were boring into mine.
So sad.
I could see the tears slide down his beautiful face. I was speechless and couldn't come up with an appropriate answer.
"Oh Jake," sighing I caressed his soft cheek that had a little stubble.
"I'm so sorry." I don't think he heard the last part through my sobs. But he pulled me into his arms bridal style and carried me to a silver rabbit. I wrapped my frail arms around his neck and buried my head into his shoulder. And he let me soaked his t-shirt with my salty tears.
He placed me into the front seat as he jumped into the driver seat. The five other guys piled in, but there wasn't enough room so the lankest one was sitting partially on a boy with chocolate brown hair and the armrest.
"Where are we going?"
"To your house to get your stuff then were heading over to my place. I picked up your bag that you dropped." I watched as he started the car and pulled out. The car was silent besides my short hiccups.
Then I finally came to my senses.
"Wait Jake!" His head snapped in my direction and slammed on the brakes. There was a lot of cusses coming from the back seat. "Jake… I-I don't have a house."
"What?" He seemed perplexed by me not having a house. "Then where's all your stuff and where do you sleep?" I guess I would have to tell him eventually. It's not the worst part.
"I have all my stuff. It's in the bag you picked up. I sleep in any room I can find." He still seemed not to be able to grasp what I was telling him. "Jacob. It's not that hard to understand. I flirted with guys until they would give me a place to stay." Jake was angry.
He looked like he could kill. I heard a growl come from the backseat. Did one of those guys actually growl? That's just unnatural.
"You what?!" He seemed ready to explode. His whole body was shaking. I moved over to rest my hand on his cheek.
I forced him to look me in the eyes. Which was stupid of me because his eyes seemed coal black and he was giving me death glares.
My hand recoiled and I was frightened. Whimpering, I pushed against the rabbit's door. Trying to get away from those eyes. The eyes that haunted my dreams and every waking moment of my existence.
All I could see was that heartless monster. Who told me lies about loving me and never hurting me. He promised. But he always broke it. Over and over again he broke the same promise and I forgave him countless times.
It's my fault. Always was.
"Bella, you could have called dad and me. We would have given you a place to stay." I looked back up at Jacob's eyes to see them the same shade of brown. His kind, loving eyes were ashamed. I couldn't speak so I just nodded.
…
I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up I was lying on two beds pushed together. Though I felt like I was sinking into the bed, trapped.
Pulling myself up I immediately headed for the bathroom and changed into some Nike shorts and a dark red thermal.
I put my iPod on speaker and went on a run down on first beach. I got tired so I sat down on some driftwood that washed ashore.
I listened to the drums and guitar. I listened until the words I wrote to go along with the song flowed from my lips.
Hey girl, you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.
Cover up with make up in the mirror tell yourself,
it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone
and then he swears he loves you.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend,
one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down,
a new life she has found.
A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.
I see the way you go
and say you're right again,
say you're right again heed my lecture
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend,
one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down,
a new life she has found.
Face down in the dirt, she said,
this doesn't hurt,
she said, I finally had enough. [x2]
One day she will tell you that she has had enough he's coming round again.
Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend,
one day this world's going to end as your lies crumble down,
a new life she has found. [x2]
Face down in the dirt, she said, this doesn't hurt,
she said, I finally had enough.
I felt their eyes before I saw them. The whole group of guys were lined up in front of me. Their mouths were hanging open in shock. Well everybody but Jake instead he looked sad and depressed.
"Come on Bells. The guys are spending the night so I came to get you back home." I nodded and walked back to Jake's house.