Go Blue Radio.
Church: Hello, your here with the Go Blue radio down here in blood gulch at 6:00 o'clock. Today were gonna do something in the name of science. So there were reports of kids soaking tampons in vodka and sticking it in them to get drunk. Now apparently girls and guys were doing this. So me and Tucker were talking and wondered if it worked, and if you got drunk would it show up on a breathalyzer.
Tucker: It's because it would enter the blood stream faster than it would if you drank the vodka.
Church:Exactly. So we've got Caboose here to test this for us. We've also had a box of tampons and a bottle of vodka. We're going to soak the tampons in the vodka and get Caboose to test this for us. Now we tested Caboose before the show to make sure he didn't come in here drunk.
Tucker: This is why I'm not doing it.
Church: No really it is the reasons why, for those of you who don't believe him. So anyways we tested Caboose with a breathalyzer and it was 0.00. Now remember it was 0.00. So now we have Caboose here ready to test this for us.
Caboose: Hi!
Church: Ok so Tucker did you soak that tampon in vodka?
Tucker: Doing right now.
Church: All right while Tucker does that I'm going to send Caboose- Caboose I want you to go behind that room divider. Yes- the one- yes there... Good Caboose good. Ok so Caboose in now behind the room divider. The divider is boxing off a corner near Tucker. It's to keep us from seeing his-
Tucker:Disgrace... What? You know it's most likely true.
Church:*Sigh* Anyways do you have the tampon ready?
Tucker: Yep. Here you go.
Church: Oh no you take it to him.
Tucker: What? Why me?
Church: Like I'm going to be the one to give it to him... While Tucker does that I'll inform the ones who are just waking up on what's going on. There were reports of kids who tried and succeeded to get drunk while underage. What they did was they soaked tampons in vodka and shoved it up their assess. Oh, ok so Caboose's got it now?
Caboose: Yep!
Church: Alright go ahead and... and take that Tampon and uh start to inset it. Hey uh why not tell us what you're doing there?
Caboose: Well Tucker gave me some lotion-
Tucker: Yea lotion
Caboose: - and I'm going to apply it now.
Church: Ok so while Caboose does that-
Caboose: Ahh! It's cold.
Tucker: Phff!
Church: Shut-up Caboose! Just do it!
Caboose: Ok... Ahh! Soo cold.
Tucker: Ah suck it up Caboose.
Caboose: Well it's kind of hard to when it's this cold.
Church: *Sigh* Caboose, do this and I'll give you a cookie afterward.
Caboose: COKKIE! Oh I love cookies!
Tucker: Yes I bet.
Church: Tucker shut-up. Now when Caboose is done we should let it stay in for about… How long do you think it should stay in Tucker?
Tucker: About a minute….
Church: Ok for a minute-
Tucker: Or five….
Church: …. Ok no. We need him to live so only one.
Tucker: fine…
Church: Ok so Caboose got it in?
Caboose: I think.
Church: Well you're only supposed to see the string and not the cotton.
Caboose: Well how am I supposed to tell?
Church: Yea your right…. Tucker why not go help him?
Tucker: No way man! Caboose I think your fine.
Caboose: I feel uncomfortable.
Tucker: …. Thank you, Caboose. I totally wanted that image in my head.
Church: While Tucker recuperates from the image Caboose put in our head lets go to a break.
Caboose: Oh yey! I love breaks! Mainly nap time breaks though!
Church: *Sigh*
5 minutes later
Church: And were back. Hope you liked that song. It was called cigar by Sarge… Tucker why did we play that song again?
Tucker: Because Caboose spilt milk all over the controls this morning and we don't know what plays what.
Church: Right. Ok… So for those of you how are now joining us we decided to experiment today. Apparently some teenagers had gotten caught soaking tampons in vodka the inserting it into themselves. Now this has happened twice now, so me and Tucker-
Tex: Tucker and I! Idiot.
Church: Thank you Tex for putting your two since in even though you're in another ROOM! Now as I was saying Tucker and I-
Tucker: *snickers*
Church: Tucker you better shut up before I kill you. Now we were wondering whether or not if the kids were drunk would it show up on a breathalyzer. So we got Caboose here-
Caboose: Church!
Church: *sigh* What is it?
Caboose: Is it time to take the second one out?
Tucker: I would think so. Now the question is should we put in another.
Church: I don't think so.
Tucker: I think one more before we test.
Church: Tucker we can't because if he dies that's a lot of paper work that I don't want to do.
Caboose: Church. Can I take it out now?
Church: Hold up a second Caboose. Tucker, got the breathalyzer ready?
Tucker: Uh hold on.. Now where did I- Oh! Found it!
Church: Now that Tucker has found his brain. I hope he can find the breathalyzer
Tucker: Asshat… I have the breathalyzer.
Church: Ok Caboose you can take out the second tampon out.
Caboose: Yey!
Church: Ok so when Caboose is done we'll test him-
Caboose: Done!
Tucker: That was way too fast.
Church: It was faster than last time.
Caboose: Do I get my cookie?
Church: Hold up Caboose. Now put your pants back on and come over here.
Tucker: Ok Caboose. Put this into your mouth. Hold it there. Now blow… Not out your nose! Your mouth!
Caboose: Well you should have said that!
Tucker: Yea yea. Now blow out of your mouth.
Church: Ok it's going. The numbers going up… Oh it stopped and it's… 8.00.
Tucker: Holy! Dang! And you wanted to give him another one?
Church: *glares* YOU wanted to give him another one.
Tucker: *Smiles* Yea I did.
Church: Well Caboose do you feel any different.
Caboose: Nope! I feel the same besides this slight headache and this fuzzy feeling.
Church: So Caboose is most likely drunk now… Just what I need to deal with… Hey Tex! Can you come get him and lay him down?
Tex: I'm not going to baby sit him!
Church: You won't have too. Just give him warm milk and that cookie then he'll fall asleep in an instant.
Tex: Fine.
Church: Ok so now you guys know that if you soak a tampon in vodka and get drunk it will show up on a breathalyzer.
Tucker: That's good to know. *mumbles* Now I need to find another way.
Church: Tucker everyone just heard that.
Tucker: Ah well. So now you guys know!
Church: Yep. Ok so were done here for today. Stay tuned for more great music-
Tex: Caboose! You just spilt milk all over my shot gun!
Church: Shit. Great. Tucker so save Caboose.
Tucker: What! Why me?
Church: Because I have to man the radio.
Tucker: Bull shit! If I go you've got to help.
Church: How about we just let Tex kill him.
Tucker: You just said that over live radio.
Church: Shit. Great now we got to save him. *chair scraps across the floor* While were gone listen to this lovely song enjoy!
Tucker: *chair scraps across floor* Yea enjoy. Hopefully we'll comeback.
So theres this radio station around where I live. The people there just remind me so much of RvB. When this happend I knew I had to do a fanfic of it! Might do more might not who knowsa
Now for those of you who are wondering this DID happen not exactly but the jeist of it did. The kid soking the tampons is TRUE! go find out if you don't belive me.
Thanks for reading and please leave a review on how I did twisting somethign from real life into a messed up story. and to see if I got the character's personalities right. Thanks again for reading!