Disclaimer: I do not own the Beyblade series or characters. My evident overflowing angst though, is totally my own.
Warnings: Suicide/Character Death.
A/N - I'm in a particularly bad mood/depression crash at the moment. Which means I'm writing some of the stuff I'm most proud of, but still, poor Tala. He's bearing the brunt of my emo-ness :P
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Everyone was surprised when he killed himself
My surprise felt more like guilt than anything else
That crazy bastard filled himself up with painkillers and vodka,
Slashed his wrists with his best knife,
And hung himself with a bolt of lace
(where he got it, I have no idea)
The lace broke, and he hit the ground
Paralyzed
But the blood loss and poisoning got to him before anyone knew
And before I could save him
His suicide note read;
'Drowning people need me more than the drowned'
Tala was beautiful
The kind of painfully innocent beauty
The kind that made your hands shake, wondering what you would do
The kind of beauty that reminded you of a wolf, or a phoenix
He had these huge ice blue eyes- you knew they were always looking at you,
Sweeping up the details of your entire life
In a blink of long lashes
He was beautiful,
And that is why he had to die.
It was winter when I broke him
He told me that the trees in the park looked like skeletons, because they were bare and gray
Gray with an a, he insisted
Because grey with an e was too delicate and pretty for skeletons
I told him he was too bizarre
And that he wasn't hot enough to deal with all the crazy
But his hands didn't shake, and his wolf-eyes didn't fill with tears
Instead, he told me we were beauty and the beast
And he didn't know who was who
He left me standing alone by the lake
With the skeletons trees eyeing me, and the ducks quacking suspiciously
If he was trying to confuse me
It worked far too well
A lot of times I wake up and he's staring at me
"I miss you when you're sleeping."
"I don't."
"I know."
He kisses me on the cheek
And hums nursery rhymes until I'm asleep again
Tala texts me weird things at weird hours
The buzzing of my phone wakes me up at 3, 4, 5 in the morning
When everyone else is quiet
When the sky is still midnight-coloured
1:33am: i amn in ther sdhower. i puyt ythe cellk phjone oin a zoplocvk. its hjatrd to typoe. lkove yoiui.
3:28am: the clouds covered the moon. it looks like they ate her, overthrew her; queen of the night's throne taken. are you coming over tomorrow?
3:42am: Kai, how many freckles do i have on my back? i want seven but i can't see.
4: 28am: your eyes are red and mine are blue. i wonder if our kids could have green eyes? then we could name them Seaweed and move to a little town by the beach. love you, call me.
5:17am: i'm going to sleep now. i wonder if i'll dream about those people again, the drowning ones. they need me. do you need me more than them? it's hard to know where to stay.
I tell him to stop being so fucking weird
To act normal, and get mad at him
I don't mean to yell
I just wish he were ordinary
He laughs
Spinning away from me into the grass
He tells me I have 'affectionate annoyance'.
"Do you ever think about it?"
He smiles absently
I wish I could know what amuses him
But it is far away.
"Yes. Do you?"
We're sprawled underneath the crumpled covers
Drifting in and out off sleep
When he talks, I can hear his dreams coating the back of his throat
He is so small
Petite frame and baby-bird bones
I'm always scared I will hurt him
He is too fragile
"How would you do it?"
"I would take a bunch of pills, slit my wrists, and then hang myself."
"That's a lot. You'd only need one."
"Monsters in movies never die the first time.
Stomachs can be pumped, wrists can be sewn, nooses can snap.
Three times is perfect."
I lowered my voice
Trying to feel concern
Though I felt it glamorously dangerous
Talking about death
We were warm, living bodies in bed
"You wouldn't really do it though, right?"
He shrugs, ice blue eyes casting light into mine
"Not today."