"And now for something completely different…"

I have no excuse for this…it's just plain silly. :D Luke will be handling any complaints for the aforementioned silliness...they can be sent to:

The Management

c/o Luke Duke

Duke Farm, Mill Pond Road

Hazzard, GA

Because this is all his fault. See that little quote underneath the title down there? That's what got this whole thing started.

Enjoy!

- Flynne ;)

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"The Shirt Off My Back"

"Enos wouldn't recognize me if I wasn't wearin' plaid!" – Luke Duke

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"Yellow…yellow…yellow…oh, look, it's yellow! Ain't that a surprise?"

Luke frowned, puzzled, as he heard the agitated mutterings drifting down the hallway from the room he shared with his cousin. He sat on the couch for a moment longer, debating whether he would rather sit where he was or whether he was going to get up to see what burr was lodged under Bo's saddle. He was comfortably settled on the soft cushions and starting to feel drowsy, but when he heard Bo start banging around, his curiosity got the better of him.

He pushed himself to his feet with a sigh and stretched before heading down the hallway. He recognized the sounds of Bo Getting Annoyed, knowing it would only be a matter of time before his youngest cousin got fed up with whatever he was messing with and came in search of him.

Sure enough, Luke had almost reached their bedroom door before a tall blond blur came barreling into the hallway.

"Luke!—Whoa!"

"Easy, Bo!" Luke burst out, caroming against the wall as his cousin smacked into him.

"Sorry, didn't see you there," Bo apologized, regaining his balance.

"What'd you want?" Luke asked, noticing the aggravated frown on his cousin's face.

"I want to show you something. Come on in here." Bo turned and ducked back into the room. Luke followed, rubbing his shoulder where he'd hit the wall. "There!" Bo said, pointing to his bed. "Take a look at that!"

"Um…" Luke raised his eyebrows, not quite sure what he was supposed to be looking at. "…your clothes?" Bo's bed was covered in a tangled pile of shirts.

"Yes!" Bo replied impatiently.

Somebody's a few sparkplugs short of a set, Luke thought. Aloud, he said, "So…what about 'em?"

"Look at 'em! You notice anything strange about 'em?"

"You mean, other than they're all piled on your bed instead of folded or hung up? I hope you ain't plannin' on askin' Daisy to iron all those for you. She'll throw the iron at you first."

"No!" Bo said in exasperation. "Luke, they're all yellow!"

"Huh. So they are."

"Is that all you've got to say?"

"What am I s'posed to say?"

"Ain't you ever noticed before?"

"Well…yeah, I guess so."

"And you ain't thought it's weird?"

Luke frowned quizzically. "Well, I…I guess I never thought much about it."

"Neither did I, until today when I started lookin' for something to wear. I know I had a red shirt lyin' around here sometime or another, but now I can't find it. All I found," he finished, waving his hand at his bed, "was yellow."

"What are all those, then?" Luke asked, pointing to a tangled blue heap on the floor by Bo's dresser.

"T-shirts. All of 'em are t-shirts," Bo said. He picked up two fistfuls of wrinkled blue cotton, waving them in the air to demonstrate.

"They ain't yellow."

"I know that." Bo tossed the shirts to the floor again. "But they're still all one color. And look at you!" Bo put his hands on Luke's shoulders and spun him around, pushing him in front of the mirror that hung on their closet door. "What are you wearin' today?"

Luke looked at his own startled reflection. "Uh…a blue plaid shirt."

"And what did you wear yesterday?"

"Blue plaid."

"The day before?"

Now Luke could see the dawning light of realization in his reflection's eyes. "Blue plaid!" He turned around to stare at his cousin. "What's goin' on?"

"I don't know, but I checked your closet, too, and you ain't got much else in there either," Bo said.

Then Luke noticed that his bed was covered in shirts, too: a wrinkled pile of blue and white tossed haphazardly onto the quilt. "Bo! What'd you do that for? Now I've gotta hang those all up again."

"I was lookin' for clothes!" Bo said defensively.

"Couldn't you stick to raidin' your own closet?"

"This is serious, Luke!" Bo put his hands on his hips. "Now, think about it. When do you ever remember wearin' anything but what you got on?"

Luke's brow furrowed as he thought. "Didn't I used to have a denim jacket somewheres…?"

"You did, but I can't find it now. And do you ever remember Uncle Jesse wearin' anything other than them old coveralls?"

"Come to think of it, I don't. That is strange, now that you mention it." Luke mused thoughtfully. "But I always thought he did that on purpose…"

Bo hadn't run out of steam in his rant yet, but he was cut off by the sound of Dixie pulling up in front of the house. The kitchen door slammed, and the pair of cousins heard the staccato tap of high heels on the hardwood floor as Daisy entered.

Her voice floated down the hall. "Anybody home?"

"We're down here, Daisy!" Luke called back.

"Yeah, come on back!" Bo added. He looked at Luke. "I bet she noticed somethin' was up." Luke just rolled his eyes.

"What's up, fellas?" Daisy asked, stepping through the doorway. The bright smile on her face disappeared into surprise as she saw the chaotic heaps of clothing scattered about the room. "What in the world are y'all up to?" she asked.

"Lookin' for clothes," Bo replied.

Daisy giggled. "Well, I'd say you found 'em."

"No, I meant lookin' for different clothes." Bo tugged at the yellow work shirt he was wearing. "Daisy, have you ever noticed that all my shirts are the same? Luke's too!"

Daisy's baby blue eyes widened just a bit and she gave Luke an Is he serious? glance. Luke shrugged, but gave her an Answer the question! nod in return. So Daisy turned back to Bo and said, "Well, sure, honey, of course I noticed."

Bo stared at her. "And you didn't say anything?"

"Well, there never seemed to be a problem…"

"It ain't a problem, really, I just thought it was weird that all my clothes were—"

"Bo, wait a minute!" Luke interrupted, clapping a hand on his cousin's arm to grab his attention. "Somethin' here ain't quite right." He looked Daisy head to toe with suspiciously narrowed eyes. "You weren't wearin' that yesterday."

Daisy looked down at her denim shorts and red tank top. "Yesterday? No, I had to wash that outfit. After workin' nine hours gettin' beer splashed on me, I—"

"Hold it!" Bo broke in. "Where do you get different clothes?"

"At the store! Where'd you think?"

"No, no, I mean why do you have different clothes?"

Daisy crossed her arms. "I am the only one in the house with a steady payin' job, sugar."

Bo and Luke looked at each other. "She's got a point there, Cuz," Luke said.

"If y'all are so worried about this, why don't you switch shirts?"

Bo cocked an eyebrow. "…Well, there's an idea."

"Wonder why we didn't think of that before?"

Bo and Luke each unbuttoned their shirts and slipped out of them to trade garments.

"This ain't bad," Bo mused, buttoning Luke's blue plaid shirt over his chest.

Luke made a face as he adjusted Bo's yellow shirt across his shoulders. "I ain't sure about this. Daisy, does this look right to you?"

Daisy scanned him with a practiced eye. "I don't know. I don't think yellow's your color, honey. I think you're more of a 'winter'. But I think the plaid is workin' for Bo."

Bo grinned. "That's cause I look good in everything."

"I think I want my shirt back."

"Well, now, I don't know. I'm startin' to like it."

Luke gave him a flat look. Not amused. "Bo…"

Bo laughed and rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay! If you're gonna be like that…" The shirts were exchanged again.

Luke looked back at his closet with a frown. "Hey, I seem to remember havin' blue shirts that weren't plaid…whatever happened to those?"

Daisy thought for a minute. "I think Coy might have them."

"Coy? Why would he have 'em?"

"Well, he kinda wore your clothes while he was here, so he might have taken them back when he left. Vance wore Bo's yellow shirts. It was a little confusing at first 'cause Uncle Jesse and me were used to lookin' for blond with yellow and dark hair with blue, but we got used to it after a while."

Luke stared at her incredulously. "Wait—you color-coded us?"

"Well, y'all are so hard to keep track of," Daisy answered defensively. "Me and Uncle Jesse are always tryin' to find you…this way, all we need to do is look for yellow and plaid in a crowd and we've gotcha."

Bo wrinkled his nose, not sure if he liked the thought of being branded like a—well, like a lost sheep, but before he could reply, Luke was peering into the closet to make another confused observation.

"Bo, didn't me and you have suits in there a while ago?"

"Huh?" Bo followed his gaze. "Hey, yeah! They're gone too! We hardly ever wore 'em…I plumb forgot we had those." He looked back at Daisy. "Did you let Coy and Vance take them too?"

Daisy looked a little guilty. "Um…well, I'm the one that got rid of those."

"What? Dai-sy…"

Daisy raised her hands in defense, interrupting Bo's exasperated drawl. "Hey, it was for your own good, honey! Luke, I know you look good in blue, but that suit was way too much of a good thing. And, Bo…" She shook her head in pity. "That brown thing made you look like a potato."

"A what?"

Luke snickered.

"It ain't funny, Luke."

"Yes it is."

"Look, fellas…" Daisy stepped forward and put a hand on each of their shoulders. "Why are you worryin' about this? You ain't had any problems before…and anyway, it's kinda like the General, ain't it? He wouldn't be the same if he was in another color."

Bo thought about this. "Guess he wouldn't." Luke hesitated just a moment longer before he slowly nodded his agreement.

Daisy smiled to herself. Trust her cousins to be appeased by comparing them to a car. "But if y'all are that bothered by it, I can take you shoppin' later today…"

Bo fidgeted and took a step back. "Um. Well, thanks for the offer, sweetheart, but, uh—Luke and me's got stuff we need to do…"

"Right," Luke cut in hastily, starting to get the same deer-in-the-headlights-look that was on his cousin's face. "We were gonna, um…Bo, weren't we gonna go fishin' today?"

"Yeah!" Bo agreed emphatically. He smiled nervously at Daisy and started edging toward the door. "Or swimmin'! Ain't no worries about clothes there!"

"Heck no!" Luke grabbed Bo by the arm and hauled him out the door. "C'mon, spud."

"Luke…!"

Daisy laughed as her cousins disappeared down the hall, Luke's laughter and Bo's irritated protests fading as the boys hurried outside to hop into the General. Then with a squeal of tires and a flash of sunlight on bright orange paint, they were gone. She shook her head and started picking up the clothing debris Bo had left scattered around the room, a satisfied little smirk on her face. Her two cousins had taken the whole color-coding scheme in stride…and of course, she had known that threatening them with a shopping trip would spook them enough to get them off her back. She doubted they'd ever bring it up again.

She just hoped Uncle Jesse wouldn't start asking her why she kept buying him red hats.

– END –