Disclaimer - The Beyblade Series is not mine *sadface*
A/N - *Angst Alert* Another poem written while I was waiting for my meds to work so I could get some much needed sleep. Poor Tala. Again.
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"Why did you stop talking', I ask him
He's sitting in a stained plastic garden chair
Pale limbs folded up and perched like a bird
I stare at the notebook in his lap
Yellowing and frayed at the edges
Wishing and almost expecting it to speak for him
Instead the only noise is soft breathing
And the scritchyscratch of a pen over paper
Secret whispers I hear but don't get to see yet
The wait is tension, folding my spine into origami
He holds up the book
'I stopped talking and started writing because no one listens.
Even if they ignore written words, they're still there'
I frown, feeling the movement deep-etched
'But they'd listen now'
Whisper of pen and paper again
'It's too late for that'
I dream of Tala, that wordless man, every night
I dream of his face wrapped in gauze or mouth taped or lips sewn delicately with thin thread
The thread looks fragile enough to snap
If he would only open his mouth
I dream of hi saying it'stoolateit'stoolateit'stoolate over and over
Echoing regrets into my head
I dream of him as a flower, blooming and opening and speaking, laughing like a child
But he is afraid
Tala turns over his long arms and shows me slashes, red and faded pink
Covering his thin skin
I don't know what to say
So I follow his example
And stay silent
I take his notebook, his mouth, and write in it
This time I'm the one telling secrets
'Why?'
I give it back to him
'Why what?'
He hands it back to me
And his skin brushes mine
It's warmer than I thought it would be
'Everything'.
'That's a lot of whys.'
'Why…everything about you, though?'
'Because.'
'Because why?'
'Because I am.'
He kisses me
And suddenly I am everything he is, too
I am the sourness of the tart lemon candies he sucks on
The strawberry-kiwi chapstick he wears
The rustle of the worn cotton of his sleeves
I am the sadness twisting in his stomach
The happiness clawing at his throat
The dread that makes his hands tremble
Suddenly, I am quiet too
I want to know what his voice sounds like
I knew years ago
Canned at the end of a phone line
But that it not valid
If he spoke now, it would be real
Not pre-packaged
Muffled by distance and electric transfers
What would he say?
I know what I want him to say
That he loves me
That I am beautiful
Or that he likes the sound of my laughter
I wish he were a doll
So I could dress him up to be happier
And have him say whatever I want
I would put him in a world where nothing could hurt him
A perfect dollhouse
He is too real
And it scares me
Tala is not dressed in fancy clothes
Even though his hair is long and styled
And his skin is porcelain-smooth
'Will you say something for me?' I ask
He stares at me
And I realize I don't know if his eyes are blue or grey
Even looking straight at them
I only know that they are large
And awfully sad
He writes.
What do you want me to say?
"What ever you're thinking."
His voice cracks like ice when you pour hot water over it
"I miss you."
"I'm right here."
He writes.
'No, you're not...'
