Opportunity for Friendship, a glee fanfic

It was the first day back from holiday break and Finn was sitting one row behind Rachel in Glee club. She had been trying to avoid him all day, but Finn caught her several times staring longingly at him. Finn decided that she looked alright. Tired, and maybe slightly scruffy, but better then when Kurt called him screaming that he had made Rachel seriously and clinically depressed. But Finn rationalized that Kurt and Rachel were the two most dramatic people he's ever met, and if anyone was going to over exaggerate it would be them. Finn knew though, however, that it wasn't his breakup alone that made Rachel's eyes swim whenever the Glee club ate without her. He knew, because of many nights when she didn't feel like making out and instead talking, that she had self esteem issues. That she not only considered him as her lover, but her only friend. He assumed now those problems were gone because she had a new found friendship with Kurt.

He loved Rachel more than anything, but he love wasn't enough all the time. She cheated. Enough said. Wasn't there a saying somewhere like "once a cheater always a cheater?" So he thought that maybe she should suck it up a little bit. She brought it upon herself! Right? He looked back down at Rachel who had her head resting on her hands. The bell rang and Rachel immediately sprung up and left. Finn saw a piece of paper slip out of her tote and before he could pick it up and call out to her, she was long gone.

Finn groaned because that meant he was going to have to awkwardly confront her about it tomorrow. He didn't want her to think he was like stalking her or anything. And he didn't want the piece of paper to contain her woman cycle (as she had clearly stated once the importance of keeping track, Rachel Berry was never caught of guard.) He opened the paper and in her swoopy Rachel handwriting it said "The McKinley High Glee Club According to Ms. Rachel B. Berry." Finn rolled his eyes; Rachel could be so damn annoying sometimes with her lists and analysis. Finn decided that he would go ahead and read, it probably critiqued everyone about there singing voices anyway. Finn began.

The McKinley High Glee Club According to Ms. Rachel B. Berry

I, Rachel Berry, as I sit here alone on New Years Eve, have decided since no one apparently like me very much and my boyfriend broke up with me, I should stop blaming everyone else and take a good hard look at myself. My goal this semester is to try and find a friend, like Dad and Daddy have always wanted. But I'm not good with friends. I realize I'm competitive and hard to be with. Finn taught me that. Apparently I can only be handled for so long. (Ouch. Finn thought.) I will list my fellow Glee Club members that include first impressions and ratings from 1-10 for possible friendship opportunities.

Finn's eyebrows raised, this was defiantly not about singing. Was Rachel really that insecure that she needed to rate them? He continued to read.

Listing out helps me process this very difficult time for me. I plan to rip this up afterwards; as I don't need anymore judgment then I have already received.

1. Artie Abrams- First Impression is that he is very cute. I thought he would accept me since he himself is faced with bullying and disabilities. But ever since he started dating Brittany he hasn't even said hi to me in the hallways. His new found friendship with Noah also baffles me. I considered Artie to be an equal to me, but now Finn's got him on the football team and has a place at the lunch table. Opportunity for being my friend: 3.

2. Tina Cohen- Chang and Mike Chang- First Impression was that she is not as good as me and he only dances. They are kind of the power couple now, and while they are very sweet, I can see they try and jump out of conversations with me. Finn would always have to step in and save me from the awkwardness. Opportunity for being my friend: 3 ½

2. Mercedes Jones- First Impression was that she was talented, yet too sassy. Mercedes has always been rude and mean to me. It is not my fault that I always have constructive criticism to give. I thought that since Kurt and I have developed a friendship she would like me. Except when Kurt, his friend Blaine, her, and I all went to see a movie she downright ignored me. Plus she always has been a little too nice to Finn, even if he isn't of color, I do not trust her. Opportunity for being my friend: 4.

Finn scoffed, so what Artie, Tina, Mike, and Mercedes had made new friends and weren't social outcasts anymore? Yet, Finn's heart hurt a little from Rachel's harsh judgment how she thought no one would be her friend. He hoped she knew that he would always, always be there as a friend even if he couldn't as her boyfriend.

3. Lauren- First impression was that she is very skilled technologically. I don't actually want to be Lauren's friend because she scares me. So I will not rate her.

4. Santana Lopez- First impression is that she is that she is harsh, yet so impossibly "hot." I would love to give off that kind of sex appeal. As proven in my Britney Spears fiasco. I was afraid that Finn wouldn't like what he saw if I ever let him take my shirt off. But now that I know if I ever took that step with him he would be comparing me to Santana? I'd have died. Santana is experienced and confident. I can't handle a boyfriend's wandering hands and only give the false appearance of confidence. She has everything I want. Skinny, popular, and Finn's first time. Opportunity for being friends: -5.

5. Noah Puckerman- I know he can be so much more then what he thinks he can be. His bad boy presence does not intimidate me. I will forever regret kissing him, but he did something that Finn has never done for me. Stick up for me. When Santana screamed at me that nobody likes me, he said those words "I kinda like her." I almost cried. Finn stood there. Finn never sticks up for my clothes or my personality. He tells me when we're alone that I'm perfect, yet he doesn't let anyone else know that he thinks that. Opportunity for friendship, NOT ROMANCE: 8.

Finn looked up from the paper; every single person she has listed had somehow managed to mention him (exception of Lauren). He cringed a little at how she compared herself to Santana. She was perfect, so much better than Lopez, but he was to ashamed to admit that he thought sticking up for Rachel in front of Santana would hurt his rep. And also the fact she rated Puck so high pissed him off.

6. Quinn Fabray- Used to be mean. Used to date Finn. Used to be pregnant. Now she dates Sam. Now she ignores me. Still prettier then me, sometimes when I'm next to her I feel like I have to stand on my tip toes and cover my nose. Opportunity for friendship: 2.

7. Sam Evans- He is very sweet, yet completely involved with Quinn. He doesn't even take a second look at me and I'm pretty sure he only knew me as "Finn Hudson's loud mouth girl." Opportunity: 4.

8. Brittany S. Pierce- I don't even think it's fair to rate Brittany because she's, well, Brittany. She actually has never been mean to me and we were once partners in Glee and she taught me some great dance techniques. Opportunity: 7.

Finn braced himself. There was only one name left. He knew it was his. Since Kurt wasn't in Glee, he guessed that meant she wasn't going to include him.

9. Finn Hudson- I have loved him ever since he stole my first kiss in the Auditorium. He was my backbone. I told him everything. I've cried on his shoulder and held his hand. I wanted to marry him and have babies with him. I was done! He was it for me. But we aren't together anymore ("Hello!" Finn said out loud, "You cheated!") I know what I did was wrong. But do I have to remind him, that while he was dating Quinn that he kissed ME twice. It takes one to know one, Finn. How can he blame me when he's done it too? When I was his rebound girl. When he jumped into bed with the first girl that said yes. HE HAS BROKEN MY HEART. I am so conflicted because whenever I see him I want to slap him and also kiss him senseless. Or I guess have him kiss me senseless since he was always better at that. Why does everyone blame me. It's always pick on Rachel time. Even Mr. Schu participates. I like perfection, yet would it kill someone to hang out with me? I just don't understand anymore, and Daddy hates seeing me coming home sobbing. Opportunity- I don't know.

Finn couldn't finish the rest. He was so confused that he wanted to ice his brain. Basically, he got that Rachel compared herself to other girls that she thought she wasn't as pretty, and that he thought they were better. Did she not understand that everyone was kind of jealous that she knew who she wanted to be? No one else even had a friekin idea! She was everything he ever wanted. Finn needed to fix this right now.

Rachel opened her locker and was surprised to see a note fall out. She stared at it shocked. It was that list she wrote about Glee! Oh God, had someone found it? Rachel noticed a note attached to it that she had not written.

10. Rachel Berry- First Impression was that she was crazy talented. I know now that she is beautiful and smart. The best person I have ever met. She is an awesome cook, even if it's vegan. She's human and she makes mistakes. She will always be my favorite girl, and I would like to thank her for giving me space over break to sort out what an idiot I am for letting her go. We've both made mistakes. Opportunity for friendship- 10. And it will always be.