Chapter One: Reflection
Summary: Beethoven thinks about what the hell made him fall in love with CB.
Author's note: I don't think any trigger warnings are needed for this chapter, but I'd just like to say this takes place sometime after the party, but before Matt breaks Beethoven's hand(s).
Also, I'm not sure if they did this in any other production, but I just know in the one I saw, right before CB kissed Beethoven the first time, he was playing "Chopsticks" and (this may just be the pianist in me) kind of poorly, at that.
He couldn't tell what it was about that damn Charlie Brown that made him so charming.
He was a fucking asshole. Beethoven wasn't about to deny that any time soon. He still used the term "messing around", and still failed to notice Beethoven's shudder when he heard it.
But he wasn't intentionally hurtful. Not like those other dicks at school. CB stood up for him. He wasn't afraid to be seen with him on friendly terms, either. He openly said that he loved him. And he wasn't joking, or even scared to say so.
Then again, he made a mockery of his piano. CB has got to have been the only one that would interrupt his classical practice to play Chopsticks. Chopsticks. And he barely remembered the second half!
But it was adorable, the way that he constantly looked back to Beethoven for approval, making sure he had the notes right. He'd grin through all of it, and his smile'd get wider every time he saw Beethoven roll his eyes.
He kissed him in front of everyone. Yeah, that was another fucking stupid move, but he can't help but love that. CB wasn't afraid of the others' reactions, unlike Beethoven was. He felt terrified, scared for his life even, at the look on Matt's face. But CB was calm about it, proud, even. CB had nothing to hide, so why should he?
CB took it easy. He'd asked so many times if he was okay, if this was okay, if he wanted to stop. And even after Beethoven reassured him, he'd ask again, worried he'd set off the boy. He was gentle, unlike anyone else, least of all him.
It was with CB that Beethoven really knew that sex could be enjoyable, despite their inexperience and clumsiness. It was amazing to feel the passion he felt with CB as opposed to the numbness he'd felt otherwise.
And as much as he hated to admit it, CB, the lovable prick he was, was the first boy Beethoven could actually say he loved.
And no one, not even Matt could ruin that for him .