Dark Side, a twilight fanfic

Dark Side

I do not own Twilight or the song by Kelly Clarkson.

Worthless bitch

Whore

Waste of space

Just like him…

These are the names she calls me. I'm not sure why, but I ill do everything in my power to make it better. I got a job and give her all the money since she pays for me to go to school. I don't know how she does it. She doesn't work.

I get straight A's, though it s hard to accomplish because I have to clean the house, cook meals, and I don't get much sleep at night.

You wouldn't get much sleep either if your Mom had a party in her room with guy after guy. If she likes them, I cook for them, too.

I takes me a while, and a couple of Sex Ed classes to figure out what she really does with them. It was horrific when I actually know what she's doing.

She doesn't love me. I love her, though.

My first friend, Adele, never judged me. She moved here a month ago from England. Her mom was a shrink, or at least, that was what she called her.

Every Sunday morning, when mom was hung-over, I would go over. I told her a little of my home life.

There's a place that I know

It's not pretty there and few have ever gone

She tells me that I am not what my mom calls me. I'm not sure she's right.

When I turn 16, she asks me if I have ever heard my mom mention my dad. I tell her sometimes she cries over him, and says, "I'm sorry Charlie! I'm not worth it! I did what I had to do!"

I think that she still loves him. She never cries anymore. She is too drunk or is having mindless sex. She really is just drowning her problems.

Adele's mom helps me try to find him. He lives in Forks, Washington.

However, before they could help me find him further, they moved away.

I remember that day with conviction.

"You really have to go?" I asked through my tears.

"Yes. I just came to say goodbye in person." We were on my porch, with her holding me, crying soundlessly into her shoulder.

"Bella…" She seemed hesitant. "I don't know what will happen to you in the future, but you have to know that you can escape. When you get fed up of the abuse, and finally get up the courage, here-" She pulls out a substantial amount of money. "That's from my mom. She says you can use it to get a plane to Port Angeles. You need to realize that you are an amazing person and deserve none of the abuse your mom gives you."

We spent the night just talking, before saying our last goodbyes. She then left.

The next few months proved to be harder than I could have imagined. Not only because I no longer had my friends support to help me through it, but because mom traded all of her drinks in for a boyfriend.

Being drunk meant she never wanted bothered with me, though she stumbled around and I needed to clean her mess before she woke up.

Phil, her new boyfriend, not only practically moved in with us, but he also turned a blind eye to the names she called me.

Phil didn't care. I ignored him as much as possible. More sex, meaningless or not.

Phil, he bothered me sometimes. When mom wasn't home, he cornered me and I was very uncomfterble with his words and the places his hands roamed.

That was only when mom wasn't home, which was not very often.

Finnaly, I got fed up with her.

I had a narrow hope that she would be proud of me. I was on High Honor Roll.

She didn't care, of course.

That night, I reflected on it, and realized that I had done nothing wrong.

So I ran.

I packed up my stuff and walked the five miles to the airport.

She haunted me, and I found myself cringing at the sound of the last time…

Phil joined in. I had some bruises. I was so pained. The agony!

I found myself gasping after coming out of the nightmare of Phil raping me, and ran to the bathroom.

I cut my wrist, relaxing into the pain that I had control of, It felt good to be in control of my own pain, for once!

I walked the streets of Forks, Washington.

"Excuse me? Do you know where Charlie Swan lives?" I asked, walking into the neared store.

"Of course." The storekeeper said, telling me all about Chief of Police swan. She seemed willing enough to tell me.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"You can call me Mrs. Stanly. What's your name that you are looking for the Chief of Police?"

"Isabella Marie…" I hesitated. What did I want my last name to be? " Swan."

She gasped as I pushed my way out of the store.

I sighed as I approached the address listed on the paper.

My heart was pumping wildly as I stepped up to the door. Would he accept me? What would I say to him? He probably doesn't want anything to do with you!

No! you have to do this. Adele and her mom didn't give me the money only for me to chicken out!

I knocked on the door.

"Hello?"

I stared at the man in front of me, I instantly noticed that we had the same features.

"Um…hi!" He seemed to notice my rugged features before he noticed my similarities.

"Ok, kid, what do you want? I don't want to hear that you wanna turn yourself in, or you need a place to stay. This isn't a boarding house."

"Oh." My face dropped, which he misinterpreted. "My name is Isabella Marie…um…Swan, I think. Listen, I don't mean to sound freaky, but my other, uh, Renee Dwyer, um sent me here. She didn't show me what you looked like, but…I think you're the right man….Charlie Swan…" I stopped stumbling over my words and paused to look at his shocked expression.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence of him just sating at me like he couldn't believe it was I, he whispered hoarsely, "Isabella…."

He sounded in awe, and before I could respond, he pulled me into a tight hug and I could feel his happy tears down my back.

Charlie Swan, my biological father, had never known me at all. Yet here he was, welcoming me like a long lost child.

I knew then that Charlie Swan loved me.

If I show it to you now

Will it make you run away?

Mt first day at Forks High; I practical cringe every time a boy comes near and shy away from girl company.

Now that they now I am a shy freak, they avoid me. It's better that way. Friendships don't last. I learned that with Adele.

I sit by this handsome guy in my last class. He has the most stunning green eyes I have ever seen. They seem to pierce my wall like a steal rod. I can feel that, at least. I turn away. I run, I shy away from his innocence. He doesn't want to be involved with me…such a perfect man such as him.

I feel it though. His stare does not falter as he turns my chin to face him again. I flinch at the contact.

He pulls away, knowing he did something wrong.

Then, he asks, "Why do you shy away?"

I shake my head. He must not know. He will run.

I want to tell him, though. I want to let my insecurities fly away and I want to trust him.

"Trust me. I can tell you have been hurt, and no one should have to carry such a load on their shoulders."

That's what Adele's mom said too.

Part of me screams to not tell him, but I do. I cannot resist his charm, and I hope dearly that I will not regret doing so.

"I ran away from my mother." I don't tell him more than this, but he does not seem to mind. He just lets me pour all of the emotions out through a funneled hole in my defensive wall-the holes that he created.

Or will you stay

Even if it hurts

Even if I try to push you out

Will you return?

He is always there for me. Time after time that I push him away, he comes back. And every time he does, he disassembles my wall and I tell him a little more.

He reassures me that everything is better now.

I believe him.

And remind me who I really am

Please remind me who I really am

He is still there, even when I have weighed him with all my problems. It does not bother him. His shoulders are strong, strong enough to hold me.

He tells me everybody has a dark side, even him. He tells shares and me that his parents are dead with me his problems. I let him cry on my shoulders, telling him that I believe that he is the better person for being so strong. I was not strong.

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

you know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

He tells me I am wrong. He tells me that he would not still love his mom if she did that to him, and he would not still be so sweet and innocent, as I am.

I tell him that he would be.

He just smiles and tells me that they were both strong. But even the strongest people are weak sometimes.

Like a diamond

From black dust

It's hard to know

What can become

If you give up

So don't give up on me

Please remind me who I really am

I ask him to promise me something.

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

He tells me anything.

Don't run away

Just tell me that you will stay

Promise me you will stay

Don't run away

Just promise me you will stay

Promise me you will stay

"Promise me that you will stay with me." I whisper hoarsely.

Will you love me? ohh

Everybody's got a dark side

Do you love me?

Can you love mine?

Nobody's a picture perfect

But we're worth it

You know that we're worth it

Will you love me?

Even with my dark side?

"Always."

Don't run away

Promise you'll stay

"I love you."

"I love you too."

We embraced each other. As friends. As lifelines. As lovers.