Heeeey people! This is a parody of Percy Jackson, and to those hard-core fans out there… CHILL! I'm a fan too, just thought I'll have some fun writing a twisted version of it. Flame if you want, flames will be used to bake cupcakes for those who review! :D
Anyway, I highly suggest that you read the book cover to cover before reading this parody. Of course, that is completely optional. But you might not get some jokes. Just saying!
Okay, I'll keep quiet now. Enjoy!
Penguin Books
PRISSY JACKSON AND THE DOUGHNUT THIEF
.Purple (BYP) is an award-winning author that has won zero awards for all of her works. Don't even get me started on why she calls herself an award-winning author. For the past fifteen years, she has been teaching at middle schools in some rural area near to where we call 'The Middle of Nowhere'. Again, don't ask me how she can be teaching for fifteen years if she's not even fifteen, let alone old enough to work. BYP lives in her own imaginary world, and is labeled 'Forever Alone' by most who know her. The rest call her 'Hopeless'.
Praise for the Prissy Jackson series: (Wow, I'm surprised there's any.)
'One of the worst books of the year...vastly boring' - dependent
'A horrible imitation of the Percy Jackson series. BPY takes the tale we all love and puts the cobwebs back in.' - Eoin Cauliflower, author of Artemis Foul
'NOT funny, NOT clever, and NOT interesting... Horrible.' - The Space and Times
'Unputdownable, mainly because some idiot glued my hands to this freaking book!' – Irish guy who wished his hands were not glued to a horrible book.
'It's Car A and Car B meeting on a highway - disastrous." Saturday times.
CHAPTER 1
Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood. But since I totally have awesome powers that give me awesome life hacks and 30000000 fanfics written in my honor, I actually don't mind. According to the author, I have to say it, so meh, whatever. I hate being a half-blood.
If you're reading it because you think you're a half-blood, I won't tell you to put this book down, because you bought it and not reading it would be an epic waste of money. I would tell you to believe what lie your parents told you, but I have no clue as to how you would ever know that your parents are lying, so yeah. And let's all face it, leading a demigod life is way more awesome than leading a normal life.
If you're a normal teenager reading this, thinking this is fiction, NOT great. I really did save your sorry butt at the end, alright? I know, I'm awesome.
Anyway, I'm twelve. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yankee academy, a troubled school for troubled idiots like Grover. I mean, geniuses.
Am I a troubled kid? No. I'm an awesome kid. Now we got that part cleared, let's move on, shall we?
Things were going great, until last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan.
Twenty-six mental nuts and two teachers sitting in a yellow bus. Actually, just so you know, there are twenty-seven people in my class. I'm not a nut. But Grover is one. I think he's eating my bag now.
I know, sounds like torture. Especially this one, mainly because Mr Brunner was leading this field trip. He's one of the only teachers who doesn't really give a damn, so now the class is in the 'Monkey Mode' where all the ADHD kids climb on chairs and pull the teacher's hair while the dyslexic kids write words you don't want to see and don't want to know everywhere then pretend they don't know what they just wrote. I know. Blame it on the dyslexia.
I seriously hope no one would break their legs this time. Or else I have no attention. And I have detention. Lame joke not intended, but you can still laugh at it if you really want to...
Anyway, in short, I was determined not to break anyone's legs this time round.
All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit. She'd a kleptomaniac, with freckles and frizzy red hair. I hate her. I mean, she's so smart and kind and nice, I just hate her! Oh, I think Grover fell down. Whatever. he has some muscular disorder in his leg so he had this Medical Certificate to excuse him, but I stole it so that I won't look that bad while doing PE. Trust me, whatever he does makes whatever I do look fantastic.
"Grover! Oh my gods, are you okay?" Nancy Bobofit bent down and helped Grover up. See what I mean? So helpful. I hate her.
Mr Brunner just sat at the museum door and told us to blow ourselves away. I think some guys took that literally... I just walked around with Grover past some really old stuff. They're, like, so old I bet if I touched it it'll crack.
Oh, I think I just heard Grover fall down - again.
And crack something.
And he's crying.
And Nancy' cheering him up by making a joke out of some naked guy on the stele. I hate Nancy Bobofit.
Any area for improvement? I love constructive criticism! PM me if you have any ideas, I love talking to people! I hope you enjoyed it, bye! :D