Community Psychology: A Study Of Arrested Development.
AN: Hello. Welcome to the story.
"Arrested Development" was one of my favorite sitcoms when I discovered it in the fall of 2003. It absolutely hurt when the show was cancelled two and a half years later. I honestly thought there wouldn't be another sitcom like it.
Then came "Community". Granted, later seasons ended up doing their own (extremely wacky) thing, but season one could best be described as "Arrested Development" at a community college. Since they've done so many homage/parody episodes, I thought one involving "Arrested Development" would be awesome.
This would take place during season four of "Community", but I don't have a set time period for when it takes place in AD's continuity. BTW, if you're concerned about a chance that this might not end up being completed, I've already written out all five chapters and I plan to post them one a day.
And we're off.
Chapter 1:Return to Greendale.
At Greendale Community College, seven students of various ages and races sat around a table in the library's study room. A black-haired, young woman detailed several interesting facts about Jonathan Swift. The background music could best be described as jaunty alternative.
A fit, slender man with finely styled, brown hair leaned back in his chair and watched the girl. An unseen narrator who sounded like Ron Howard spoke up.
"This is Jeff Winger. He used to be a lawyer until three years ago when a colleague reported him to the Bar Association for falsifying his educational history. Shortly afterwards, he enrolled in Greendale Community College to earn an actual degree and ended up becoming friends with this study group. Jeff doesn't know it yet, but he's about to face one of the most trying experiences of his life."
"...and the bulk of his fortune went to fund a hospital for the mentally ill." said the girl.
"Are you sure it was a good idea to write a report on an essay advocating cannibalism?" asked a muscular, black man.
"Actually, it's a satire." said a tall, skinny man of Middle Eastern descent. "He's presenting a solution that's so outrageous, you can't possibly take it seriously."
"Oh." said the black man. "That explains it."
"Okay." said Jeff. "It sounds like a great report, but not all of us did the extra credit assignment. So, let's hit the books."
As he and the others opened their textbooks, someone else said "Now, that's a great idea."
Everyone turned to the doorway to see a man with brown hair leaning against it. The background music changed to a light salsa/jazz fusion.
"It's so nice to see another study group getting some use out this room." said the man as he approached the table. "Hi, I'm Michael Bluth. I can't begin to count the number of hours I've spent here. I remember this time..."
"This is Michael Bluth. Michael graduated from Greendale twenty years ago after earning a degree as a business major. During his time here, he also met his late wife Tracey. He is now giving back to his alma mater by overseeing construction of a new house for the Ypsilon Nu Beta fraternity. Today, Michael is happy."
"...in the garden." said Michael.
Everyone at the table laughed...
...except for a blonde woman wearing a black leather jacket. "Wait, YOU'RE Michael Bluth?" she asked.
"Yes, I am." said Michael.
The woman jumped out of her chair and grabbed a cup that had been sitting in front of her.
"This is Britta Perry, anarchist cat owner."
Britta threw the cup at Michael, ejecting the water inside at him. The action paused.
"She isn't happy."
The action unpaused and the water continued its flight. Michael put up his hands to shield himself, but still got drenched. Everyone looked at Britta in shock.
"Britta!" yelled a middle-aged black woman.
"What the hell?" yelled Michael.
"Britta is upset because construction of the frat house conflicts with one of her causes."
(Flashback)
Britta walked through the lounge when a skinny, bald man wearing glasses stopped her. "Britta, there you are." he said. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. I ran your proposal by the board of directors and they passed over your suggestion for a psychological center. They've opted to build a new frat house for the Nu Beta's instead."
"What?" said Britta. "How could they do that?"
"I'm sorry, Britta." said the man, Dean Craig Pelton. "The Nu Beta's are a very influential fraternity. Some of their members are on the security detail and have been known to detain students for the most trivial matters."
"No, I don't accept this!" said Britta. "This college needs a psych center! There are students here who need the help. Like Annie, and Neil, and Garrett..."
"I thought we already helped Garrett." said Pelton.
They turned to look at a pudgy man with brown hair and glasses as he stood on a stepstool trying to hang a notice on the bulletin board. The stepstool slipped out from under him and he ended up hanging from the top by his fingernails.
Britta and Pelton looked back at each other. "Did we really?" asked Britta.
(End flashback)
"And now the student body is going to be a lot crazier because of that!" said Britta.
"What are you yelling at me for?" asked Michael as he ran a paper towel over his arms. "I don't have a say in how the building is used!" He went to wipe off his face and said "I just build the (bleep)ing thing!"
"Sugar, you better watch that mouth or the good lord will have issues." said the black woman.
"This is Shirley Bennett, sandwich maker, housewife, and very devout Christian. She'd probably lecture Michael some more, but she's in a good mood today. Her sandwich shop has taken an upswing in business due to Michael's construction workers frequenting it on their lunch breaks. We must note they'd be visiting it whether they were building a psych center or a frat house."
"Sorry." said Michael. "My builders have a serious swearing problem. I should probably stop spending so much time around them."
"Britta, you gotta be careful." said the black man. "Those Nu Beta's are crazy. Last week, I bumped into one of them while reading a book. They still haven't returned it, saying it's theirs now."
"Troy Barnes was a football player in high school. He was poised for a scholarship for a major university when..."
(Flashback)
High schooler Troy met with the school's football coach in the hallway.
"Well, Troy." said the coach. "What's the decision?"
"Sorry, I just don't think I'm cut out for university football." said Troy.
"Well, we'll just have to keep bugging you until you're unable to play." said the coach.
"Troy injured himself doing a keg flip the following night."
(End flashback)
"I need that book back." said Troy. "It was due back at the library yesterday."
"Troy, what are you saying?" asked the black-haired girl. "If this psychological center is built, a lot of issues could be dealt with."
"Annie Edison knows what she's talking about. In high school, she was a straight-A student poised for a scholarship for a major university until..."
(Flashback)
"Well, we'll just have to keep bugging you until you're unable to play." said the coach.
"I'll think about it at the party tomorrow ni..." said Troy.
"Everyone's a robot!" yelled Annie as she ran past them and through a plate glass window.
(End flashback)
"Just out of curiosity," said an older man with grey hair and glasses "do you have someone to show you around campus?"
"Pierce Hawthorne returned to college out of loneliness. He decided to stay until he found a new circle of friends. He is currently in his fourteenth year of this mission."
(Flashback)
Pierce stood in a classroom with a group of students. "Come on, you can't ask for it back." he said. "That would make you an Indian giver."
A Native American man stormed out of the room and yelled "Not cool, Pierce!"
"Gary!" said Pierce. "I didn't see you there! Come back!"
(Flashback)
Pierce sat at a table with another group of students.
"My personal suggestion is that we get Mary's boyfriend to help." he said.
A brown-haired woman groaned, got up, and stormed out.
"What?" yelled Pierce.
(Flashback)
Pierce had another student in a headlock. "Say it!" he yelled.
"Rusty Burger's shakes are superior!" yelled the other student.
"Gee. I wonder why."
(End flashbacks)
"Well, if you really want to, I don't see why not." said Michael. "I think I might have to change my shirt, though."
"Fantastic!" said Pierce. He got up and left with Michael.
"I'll go make sure he doesn't embarrass us." said Jeff.
"Troy, I just had an idea." said the Middle Eastern man.
"Abed Nadir entered Greendale to learn to be a filmmaker. Once there, he hooked up with Troy to form one of the strongest partnerships ever."
"Yeah?" asked Troy.
"I'm thinking that the construction process might make for an interesting documentary." said Abed. "And with Pierce involved, there's a very strong chance of drama."
"Sounds like a disaster in the making." said Troy. "I'll carry the equipment."
"Cool." said Abed. "Cool cool cool."
They tapped their right hands together while patting their chests with their left. They got up to leave.
"I gotta get back to the shop." said Shirley as she got up to leave. "The lunch rush is coming up and Michael's workers have been there every day this week."
After Shirley left, Britta got up and walked over to Annie. "Annie, come with me." she said. "I have an idea of how to stop this frat house. We have to get to the lawyer's office."
"Britta, I have to print out this report!" said Annie as she held up a flash drive.
"Annie! The sanity of this college is depending on you!" said Britta. "You can print your report when you get back!" she added as she grabbed Annie's wrist.
In the hallway, Jeff watched Pierce talk with Michael as Troy and Abed left the study room.
"Hey, Michael." said Abed. "Troy and I were wondering if you would be willing to let us follow you and film you for a documentary."
"Well, it wouldn't be the first time." said Michael. "Sure, you can come with me."
"Sweet." said Troy.
The four of them left together.
"This can't end well." muttered Jeff.
"So, why is Michael happy? Because he's vowed never to set foot on campus again."