Author's Note – Hey!! This is a comedy release fic I'm starting. I know, I know, I have too many fics, but this one is not going to be very long, just a humorous little tale of what might have happened if Gohan were to become a little more 'Bondish'. Warning!! The characters get quite OC at times, and there may be a lot of sexual humor involved! Very crazy, absurd plot lines, violence, and outrageousness. Hehe, hope you enjoy!! And if you do, please review!!
And this chapter is a bit short as it is just the introduction. Chaps will get a lot longer, and hopefully a lot funnier from here on out.
Disclaimer – I do not own DBZ, I just think it totally kicks ass.
Gohan Undercover
Prologue/Chapter 1 – A Natural Talent
"Yes, it was incredible! He was hit straight in the face and didn't even blink!! Normally I wouldn't say anything, but I think you should take a look at him. He just seems suspicious…"
"Wow, get a load of the substitute teacher!!" Erassa exclaimed as she, Gohan, and Sharpner examined the unfamiliar man on the opposite side of the field who would be teaching them to play football that day. She frowned, placing her hands on her hips and raising one eyebrow.
"He sure does look suspicious for some reason… But I just can't put my finger on it!"
Sharpner snorted and rolled his eyes at Erassa. "Yeah well, wearing all black including black shades will usually do that to you." He continued laughing as he headed across the grass to wear the rest of the class was gathering. Gohan stood with a puzzled look beside Erassa, reaching up to scratch the back of his head.
"Maybe he's just cold. Black is after all the spectrum of all absorption of wavelengths of light…"
Erassa giggled at this and shrugged, gesturing for Gohan to follow her as she hurried after Sharpner. "Oh never mind that Mr. Smarty Pants! Let's just go play some football!" Gohan sighed and nodded heavily as he took in the large field. He was just taking a step when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned calmly, jumping a good few feet backwards as two cold, evil eyes shot into his.
"WUAHHH!! God Videl, do you have to look so scary? What do you want??"
Videl narrowed her eyebrows and crossed her arms. "Listen you nerd, if you think you're gonna make fools out of Sharpner and I again today, you can forget it. You may have got lucky yesterday when we played baseball, but football…" She grinned menacingly, "Football is a different matter. Especially 'tackle' football…"
Gohan laughed nervously and backed up a bit more, putting his hands defensively in front of him. "Hey hey! I wasn't out to get you, just playing the game! Don't worry, ahehe!"
"CLASS!!"
Gohan and Videl both spun around as the substitute hollered and blew a whistle. He waited for everyone to assemble and quiet down before continuing. "As you know, today we will be playing 'tackle football.' Now, I have already number you off, so if I call your name, come and get a blue pinny to wear."
Gohan sighed and rubbed his temples. School was such a pain… It was so hard covering up his incredible strength!! Sometimes he wondered if maybe he should just give it up and reveal himself. But no, that would bring about WAY too much publicity. And that was something he definitely did not want… He shook his head clear of thoughts as his name was called, and grabbed a blue, tank top like jersey and pulled it over his head, frowning as it got stuck around his chest and clung tightly against him.
Sharpner slapped him on the back as he ran by, laughing whole-heartedly. "Don't worry Brains! It doesn't look THAT gay!!" Gohan frowned, muttering some inaudible swear words under his breath aimed in Sharpner's direction. He would show them what he could do… At least to a small extent.
The game began, and the substitute couldn't help but shake his head in amazement. "Peter was right…" He muttered quietly to himself as the spiky haired teen he had come here to inspect barreled right over another student. "He has incredible potential. He even kicked a hole in our last football!!" He sighed, staring thoughtfully at the deflated rubber diaphragm from the ruined football. "He's a little young, but he may be just what we need…"
Gohan slung his book bag quickly over one shoulder and slammed his locker door shut, jumping slightly as he noticed someone was beside him. "Hey," Gohan began, "Aren't you that substitute teacher we had today…?"
The man nodded, adjusting his sunglasses and gesturing for Gohan to follow him as he clasped his hands behind his back. "Yes, I was. But that was not what I was really here for. Listen carefully Gohan. My name, is Theo. I work for the Orange Star Secret Service Agency."
Gohan's eyes grew a few sizes. "Woah! You're a secret agent!? Wh-what do you want with me!?"
Theo frowned, gesturing for Gohan to keep his voice down. "Your gym teacher is my brother. He alerted me to your unusual skills. Now, we have been in desperate need of a new recruit, ever since some, 'problems' have been arising. I was hoping you might come with me to the OSH, our headquarters, and see if you might be interested."
The two stopped in the door, Gohan putting a hand almost instantly to his forehead. "Hang on a minute… You want 'me' to be a secret agent?! Like 007!?"
Theo chuckled. "Well, something like that. I know what you must be thinking, and yes, you are a bit young, but you could help us a great deal. So, what do you say?"
Gohan furrowed his eyebrows and thought hard. If I became a secret agent, I could help people using my power without being discovered! And it would probably pay well… And mom is always talking about how we need money so bad… It, couldn't hurt to try, right?
"Sure," Gohan grinned lopsidedly, "Let's go."
"Hello?"
Gohan smiled as he heard his mother's voice on the phone. "Hey Mom! It's me Gohan. I'm going to be a little late getting home tonight cause I'm going to become a secret agent."
"That's nice dear. How did you do on the Social exam??"
"I did great Mom!! 98%!"
"That's great Gohan. Now remember, don't spend too much time with your friends. You need to get home and eat something before you start your homework."
"No prob. I'll talk to you in a bit Mom!!"
Theo sighed as Gohan hung up the phone. "Can we go now?"
Gohan nodded enthusiastically as he grabbed his book bag off the floor. "Yeah, of course! Thanks for letting me phone my mom. If I hadn't, she would have beat me if I hadn't been home before 6…"
Back at the Son house, Chi Chi's eye began to twitch as she realized just what Gohan had said on the phone.
"A SECRET AGENT!?!?"