I got bored while waiting to post my new chap for TRDC. I was on youtube and I heard this song for the first time, I thought it was so perfect for BB! Hes always overlooked, treated as little more than a comic releif. But he feels more than anyone and he has gone through quite a lot that no-one knows about. So I thought I'd have a oneshot where his true feelings about the world are revealed. To Raven, of course, cause Im such a devoted BBXRAE fan. ;) The song is 'I'm still here' by John Rzeznik.
Anyway, new chapter of my other story out too, so enjoy this little break.
Raven sat in her room, peacefully chanting her mantra. The tower was empty today, everybody had gone out. Starfire and Robin were on a date and they would be gone for a long time. Cyborg was with Bumblebee at the Grand Prix (which he wouldn't call a date, but everyone else knew otherwise.) And Beast Boy......wait, where was Beast Boy?
She sighed and stood up to look for him. Not that she wasn't enjoying the solitude of her room but her curiosity got the better of her. She went to the common room first, he'd probably be playing an annoying game...
She walked in and he wasn't there. Sighing, she checked his room, the bathroom, everywhere. He was nowhere to be found.
'Oh well, he must have gone out.' She thought. She took a seat on the couch and sighed. Lately she'd been thinking more and more of Beast Boy, ever since he had gone into her mind. She found it harder and harder to ignore her feelings towards him. Every time he was near, she felt her heart fluttering involuntarily, her cheeks tinting red, her voice becoming stammered and nervous. She couldn't help but notice how smooth his skin was, how deep his emerald eyes were, even how cute his pointed ears were. She also noticed how brave he was, how strong and kind and caring he had always been. The others hadn't noticed, thank god, but she was still embarrassed. She sighed again and placed her head in her hands. She wouldn't say she was in love, not by a long shot, but she had no choice but to admit she had a little crush on him.
She shook her head and went to the kitchen and began preparing a cup of tea. She thought about her predicament logically in her head. She couldn't love, her powers were to volatile and Trigon might use them as a means of controlling her. And anyway, she couldn't be with Beast Boy! Sure he liked her, but no more than as a friend! Besides, he was too childish, too immature.
She took her tea and started walking to the roof. 'I didnt check here.' She thought absentmindedly. It didn't matter, he wouldn't be here anyway.
She slowly opened the door and gasped silently. Beast Boy was there all right, his legs dangling over the edge of the Towers roof. And on his lap was balanced an acoustic guitar.
'He can play?' She thought, then she hid herself in a shadow. Beast Boy turned momentarily and frowned. "Im sure I shut that door." He said. He shrugged his shoulders and went back to playing a simple, soft melody. Raven relaxed and watched, amazed that he'd hidden this talent for so long.
Beast Boy began playing a smoother melody. Then, to Ravens amazement, he started singing.
I am a question to the world
Not an answer to the earth
Or a moment thats held in your arms
And what do you think you'd ever say?
I wont listen anyway
You dont know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be
And what, do you think you'd understand?
Im a boy, no Im a man
You cant take me
And throw me away
And how can you learn whats never shown?
Yeah you stand here on your own
They dont know me
Cause im not here
Raven gaped from the shadows. She'd never heard this song before, had Beast Boy written it? He was filling each word with so much emotion, so much passion. Raven felt her heart beating a little more rapidly and her blush rising. He had a beautiful voice. He strummed harder and his singing became that little bit more powerful.
And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things i dont feel
Wanna hold on
And feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They dont know me
Cause Im not here
Raven sighed softly. Beast Boy had definately written this, it sounded just like him. She had never known him to be so deep and poetic. And the words were ringing in her head and she felt truly sorry for him. He looked up to the sky smiling as he sang the next part.
And you see the things they never see
All you wanted, I could be
Now you know me
And Im not afraid
And I wanna tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They cant break me
As long as I know who I am
And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things i dont feel
Wanna hold on
And feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change
They're the ones that stay the same
They cant see me
But Im still here
He smiled and strummed harder and faster, building into the bridge of the song. Raven sat in the shadow, her knees weak. She would have never expected such a fire to be inside Beast Boy. He was much, much deeper than anyone had perceived him to be. And she couldn't help but wonder who the 'you' had been in his song. It was probably Terra but she felt her heart flutter slightly with hope all the same. She had been completely wrong about Beast Boy, and about her feelings for him. This was more than a crush. Much more.
They cant tell me who to be
Cause Im not what they see
Yeah the world is just sleeping while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never beleive
Raven wanted to reach out and hug him. She wanted to know the real him, the one hes been hiding from the world. She slipped away silently, suddenly aware of what she should do. What would make him feel wanted.
And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things i dont feel
Wanna hold on
And feel I belong
And how can you say I never change?
They're the ones that stay the same
Im the one now
Cause Im still here
Im the one cause Im still here
Im still here
Im still here.
Beast Boy finished his song and stared up at the sky. He'd written that earlier today. The others had all left him. All of them but Raven, and she hadn't even noticed he was there. He looked over the edge of the tower. All he'd ever wanted was for Raven to notice him, to pay attention to him. He wanted her to smile at his jokes, to play games with him, to BE with him. He sighed and lay his guitar next to him. He wanted Raven to hear the song, maybe she'd think he was more than an immature prankster if she did. But he felt too shy to even think of playing it to her. He sighed and lay back, staring at the clouds.
'Ravens so wonderful. A guy could fall in love with a girl like her.' He thought longingly. He saw a shadow fall across his face and looked up.
Raven was standing in front of him, holding a tea in one hand and a soda in the other.
"I thought you'd be hot up here, so I got you something. Even though that stuff rots your teeth." She said, smirking slightly. She sat on the edge of the tower near the guitar. He laughed and sat next to her, sipping the drink gratefully.
"Thanks Rae, I thought you'd forgotten me." He said happily. Raven stared at the sky and smiled slightly.
"Why would I forget you? You're still here." She said.
He staed at her in disbeleif before laughing and sipping his drink.
'Maybe I should play guitar more often'. He thought happily as they watched the sun slowly dip below the horizon.
OK, pants, I know. Just a little break from my normal story. This time I didnt make it overly fluffy like I normally do, I'll just let you guys figure out the rest. Anyway, byesies!