I wrote this short one shot yesterday from a music prompt I had at my Live Journal Community, Story Teller Song, and it was inspired by the song Angels On The Moon by Thriving Ivory. When I heard the song, I thought, what if Bella had told Jake how she felt and asked him to save her. If only she had opened her eyes and looked at the beautiful person who was right there in front of her all the time. Jake was truly the better choice for her. *sigh* I also made a really nice banner for this story so check it out at my profile page.
News!! I just wanted to thank everyone who voted for me in the 2009 Twilight Awards on FFNET. My story Finding The Light won 1st Place in the Best Jacob category and my story A Stranger In His Land won 1st in the Best Sam category. You guys are the best!!!!
Angels On The Moon
I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought that having him back in my life was what I needed, but it didn't seem to fill the void inside of me, the void that had begun to shrink and dissipate and lessen with the presence of the sun in my life, the presence of Jacob Black.
The old saying, 'you don't know what you have until you've lost it,' rings in the depths of my mind and I can't shake the feeling that I might be losing a part of myself, the most important part, if I let Edward dictate my life and keep me from Jacob.
You see, when Jacob and I are together, everything fits and I am who I am, nothing more, nothing less. But am I strong enough to fight this magnetic force that Edward seems to maintain over me? Can I move beyond him and make it into the open arms of my friend, the one who picked me up and made me whole again, or am I too late? Is it too late for me?
These were the thoughts that moved through my head like a ghostly mist crawling up from the graves in an old forgotten cemetery as I sat on my bed, waiting for Edward to creep into my room tonight, just like he had so many times before, but tonight I didn't want him there. I wanted to be in La Push and I needed to see Jake.
When he finally was there, sitting on my bed beside me, I quietly said, "I have to see him. I feel like I'm suffocating here with you. I need some time to think things out and I need to be with Jake."
He looked at me with such a pained look on his face. He knew what I was saying, even though I hadn't really said it yet. And with a look of loss and defeat, he nodded his head and said he would make the arrangements.
He opened his cell phone and dialed a number, how he knew what Jake's number was I don't know. Maybe he knew all along that this day would come. Maybe he had been preparing for it for a while, either way, when I heard the muffled voice of Jake on the other end of the line, I felt the pulse of my heart again for the first time since Edward came back.
I got up and pulled on my jeans and slipped a hoodie on over my sleep shirt. I was ready and wanted to go now. Edward finished the conversation and said, "He will be waiting at the border. I'll take you myself," as he stood up and took my hand.
He helped me out onto the roof, then held me in his arms as we jumped to the ground below, not making a sound. I put my arms around his neck and he took my legs as he wrapped me securely around him and started running for La Push.
I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see the night passing by, it frightened me, just like this feeling of emptiness frightened me, so I just waited behind closed eyes as the cold wind whipped and tugged at my hair.
When he finally slowed, I opened my eyes and there, standing by the side of a large evergreen tree, in a clearing just outside of La Push, just on the other side of the border, was Jake. The moonlight streaked his black hair and made him look older, wiser. His stance and expression was one of defiance and disgust as he saw me clinging to Edward.
I slid off his back, turned and offered Edward a weak smile and said, "I'll call you when I'm ready to come back," then turned my back to him, walking slowly at first, then faster as I got closer to Jake.
Jake dropped his arms from where they had been crossed over his chest and reached out to take my hand. I took it and we walked off into the darkness together and I realized he was leading me toward the beach.
We sat in silence for a long time, just staring out at the waves and for the moment that was what I needed. Just to be with him, knowing he was beside me while I tried to figure things out.
I saw him move slightly out of the corner of my eye and looked over at him as he leaned back in the sand, resting himself on both elbows.
"Bella, do you dream that the world will know who you are someday? Well I want to know who you are. Do you still care about the little things or anything at all?" he asked, but he never looked at me.
"I don't know who I am any more Jake. That's why I'm here. I want to feel what's inside of me. I want to sunburn, just to know that I'm alive."
"Bella, you have to pull yourself out of this and realize what's going on. I watched you for months, just a shell of a girl that used to be so full of life, and I wanted to do something, but you fought me at every turn."
"Jake....don't tell me if I'm dying, because I don't want to know. Maybe I've already died and there's no hope for me anymore. Maybe I'm withered inside and my heart can never love again, but I hope that's not the case. If I can't see the sun, if I can't see you Jake, then maybe I should go. Do you know that you've been my sun all of these months? If it hadn't been for you shining in my life every day, I wouldn't have made it. But now I'm tired of dreaming of angels on the moon and I want to be at a place in my life where everyone I know won't leave too soon."
Jake raised up and moved so he was in front of me, pulling my face up to meet his.
"Bella, don't you know that everyday is the first f the rest of your life? You can tell me all your thoughts about the stars up in the sky or tell me where you run to when you feel no one's there to take your side, but don't tell me where the road ends, cause I don't want to know. This is us Bella, you and me, and as far as I can tell, this is the way it should always be. So, let me heal you. Let me take you to a better place and put all of this behind us."
"Jake don't let me die. I want to live. I want to live each day knowing that you're there, right there beside me. I thought it was right with Edward, but he doesn't make me feel alive the way you do. This feels right. Being here with you, in this place feels like home."
"Then welcome home Bells," he said, sealing our commitment to each other with his soft, tender lips pressed against mine and I knew I would always want to bask in the light of my sun, in the light that he provided whether he knew it or not.
I never called Edward and there was no more dreaming of angels on the moon and no one was leaving this time. I'd finally found where I belonged.