Scooby Doo and Doctor Who Too
by Galaxy1001D
Chapter One: Call a Doctor
As the green van drove through the desert, the four teenagers started to get worried.
"Face it Freddy, we're lost," the short bespectacled brunette sighed as she looked out the window.
"I know Velma," sighed the blond broad-shouldered boy behind the wheel.
"It's not his fault," the redheaded enchantress at his side insisted. "We shouldn't have let Shaggy and Scooby read the map." She glanced behind her at the duo in the cargo section of the van. "Shaggy, Scooby, are you two all right back there?"
"Sure Daphne," replied a tall lanky boy with a scraggly goatee and messy brown hair. "Scooby, for the last time, give me the map! We're lost in the middle of the Arizona desert here!"
"Nuh-ah!" slobbered a large brown Great Dane that somehow managed to manipulate the map with his paws. "Ri can read it!"
"No you can't!" Shaggy insisted. "You may be a bloodhound but that doesn't mean you can read a map! Like give it to me," he took it out of the dog's paws. "Okay, if my sense of direction is accurate, we should be… hey!" he slid towards the front of the van. "Why'd you slam on the brakes, Fred?"
"I haven't, for some reason the engine died!" Fred explained as he struggled without power steering. "We aren't out of gas; the battery must have gone dead!"
"But those soldiers told us to leave the area," murmured a worried Daphne as they pulled over to coast to a stop. "They didn't take no for an answer, and I think they really mean business!"
"Thanks to them we have to take the long way around," Velma sighed as the forward momentum was exhausted. "Now we'll never get to Los Angeles."
"Well we're miles from anywhere, and with the army evacuating the area we can't expect to be rescued," Fred said as he set the parking brake. "Come on; let's see what's wrong with the engine."
They got out of the van and examined the engine.
"Like I don't get it!" Shaggy scratched his head. "There's nothing wrong! No matter where we look, we can't find anything wrong with the Mystery Machine!"
"The battery doesn't have a charge, and that's not all," Daphne announced. "It's not just the mystery machine; I can't get this flashlight to work. I can't believe the flashlight's battery's gone dead too! It's like everything electric just gave up the ghost!" She handed Fred the flashlight she had taken to illuminate the interior of machinery.
"G-g-ghost?" Scooby shuddered before whining like that dog he was.
Daphne shook her head. "Scooby, I'm not saying a ghost drained our batteries."
"Don't be silly, since when does a ghost interfere with electrical equipment?" Velma crossed her arms. "A ghost is the wrong genre entirely. Everybody knows that a loss of electrical power coupled with soldiers in the Arizona desert means Unidentified Flying Objects."
"Run rigentified rying robjects?" Just because Scooby could talk didn't mean he could talk very well.
"She means aliens Scoob," Shaggy explained. "Flying saucers. Like little green men from Mars." He blinked as he thought about what he just said. "Little green men from Mars? Like you don't actually think there really are Martians, do you?"
"Martians, sounds creepy," Daphne murmured timidly. "Good thing they don't exist."
"Reah, reepy," Scooby agreed.
"All I know is that the government had an agency that looked into UFOs for almost twenty years," Velma shrugged, although with that baggy orange sweater she was wearing, it was hard to tell. "One of the things they discovered is that UFO sightings seem increase around military bases. There's an air force base in the area that closed last year."
"Of course they do," Fred laughed. "Every time the military tests out some new classified aircraft, the locals see it and the air force have to pretend they don't know anything about it. I wonder how many UFO's got 'USAF' stenciled on them."
The five of them laughed before admitting their worries.
"Like you don't really think that aliens killed all the power in the area do you?" Shaggy asked.
"Do you think that everybody's batteries are dead, or just us?" Daphne asked.
"Well it looks like someone's car is working," Velma announced. "Someone's coming."
"A car!" Fred cheered. "We're saved!"
Fred, Velma, and Shaggy stuck out their thumbs in the universal sign for hitchhiking. Scooby managed to twist his paw to create thumb. Daphne stuck her leg out while holding the hem of her purple miniskirted dress the way the heroine did in Frank Capra's It Happened One Night.
To their relief the car slowed to a stop but they had to blink for a moment as they tried to believe their eyes. The canary-yellow roadster resembled a Ford Model A out of the 1920's but was clearly constructed with 1950's technology. They couldn't place the model so it was either a foreign export or a custom job. The steering wheel was on the wrong side of the car, so the roadster must have been British or Australian. Seated behind the driver's seat was a tall, silver haired gentleman in a white frilled shirt, burgundy velvet smoking with matching evening trousers and formal boots. A large burgundy bowtie completed his dandyish ensemble. Seated to his left was a blonde girl with a large smile. Her paisley scarf clashed with her white pantsuit but other than that she dressed quite stylish. The man appeared to be in his 50's. The woman might have been in her 20's.
"Why hello there," the man greeted. "Having a spot of bother with your vehicle?"
"Goodness Doctor, they look stranded," the woman added sympathetically. From their accents they were as British as their car.
"I'm afraid we are," Fred smiled. "We were driving along when the engine died."
"Jeepers, how did you get past that roadblock?" Daphne asked them. "The soldiers had guns!"
"Oh that?" he shrugged. "They let us through, no trouble there. As a matter of fact your government asked for us to come here."
"Asked for you?" Shaggy repeated. "Like how come?"
"Now don't tell anyone," the old man said with a mock serious face, "but we're really secret agents."
"Recret ragents?" Scooby repeated.
"Like James Bond?" Velma asked.
"My goodness!" the man laughed. "Nothing like that, I assure you. Miss Grant here is a junior civilian operative for the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, and I serve as a scientific advisor."
"I'm Jo Grant," the blonde smiled. "How do you do?"
"Hi, I'm Fred Jones. This is Velma Dinkley, Daphne Blake, Shaggy Rogers, and Scooby Doo."
"How cute," Jo giggled. "Even the dog has a last name."
"Fred Jones, any relation to the mystery writer Fred Jones?" the Doctor asked. "I've seen his picture on the dust jacket. You could be his son."
"What? No? I never heard of him." Fred shrugged.
"Hum, what year is it?" the Doctor stroked his chin thoughtfully. Jo covered her mouth and laughed silently. The Doctor flashed a rueful smile. "Well no matter. I'm afraid that Bessie has only four seats so the men will have to ride on the running boards. We can place your dog on the girl's laps or at their feet if they can manage."
"You name your ride too?" Daphne grinned.
"Like what a coincidence," Shaggy smiled. "We call our ride the Mystery Machine." He gestured at the van for emphasis. Sure enough, painted in bright orange curvy letters on the side of the green van were the words 'THE MYSTERY MACHINE' painted in a garish reddish orange color.
"Hm, small universe isn't it?" the Doctor smiled. "All right, climb in everybody, make room."
Soon the seven of them were speeding down the road in the Doctor's car.
While holding on to the car and riding on the running board, Fred decided to make conversation. "I'm sorry Doctor I didn't catch your name."
"That's odd, it's probably because I didn't give it," the Doctor teased.
Jo silently laughed into her hand.
"Oh?" Velma asked from her seat behind Jo. "Is it hard to pronounce?"
"For humans, yes."
"Like huh?" Shaggy asked while clinging to Jo's side of the car.
"Ror rumans?" Scooby repeated.
"He's just teasing," Jo assured them, "You are just teasing aren't you?" Was that a hint of uncertainty in her voice?
"Am I?" the Doctor smiled.
"That's a good one," Daphne smiled. "So what is your name, Doctor?"
"It's classified."
"Rassified?"
"Like is that your first or last name?" Shaggy half joked.
"He's not joking," Jo shrugged. "Even I don't know what his parents called him."
"Son?" the Doctor suggested helpfully.
"Now you're just being mean," Jo scolded.
"Like it's not James Bond is it?" Shaggy asked. "Are you the guy the movies were based on?"
"Goodness what an imagination you people have!" the Doctor snickered. "No, no, if you need a conventional name try Doctor John Smith. It's the name on my UNIT identification card. It's on my driver's license too, but between you and me everyone just calls me the Doctor."
"What does Mrs. Doctor call you?" Daphne teased.
"Sugarlips," the Doctor declared in mock arrogance. Everyone laughed and settled in for the ride.
"I just can't understand what happened to the Mystery Machine," Fred sighed. "I know that battery was charged before we left."
"My dear fellow, it's not your fault you can't get a charge," the Doctor assured him. "Not while the negative ion field is active."
"Say what?" Velma protested. "What's a negative ion field?"
"It is an energy field that radiates anti-ions that negate conventional electric currents," the Doctor replied as if it was the most ordinary thing in the world.
"I've never heard of them," Velma grumbled.
"Of course not," he shrugged. "They're not even theoretical on this planet until the turn of the millennium. I think the theory is officially published the year the first Mystery Inc. book comes out, unless I'm mistaken."
"Are you a fan, Doctor?" Jo asked.
"Not particularly, although I must have read one or two of them at some time," the Doctor replied. "To be honest, I found them quite predictable, but of course most of them are aimed at younger readers. I found the history of the author on the book jackets more memorable."
"Jeepers, you're talking like you've got some sort of time machine," Daphne shuddered.
"Not a functioning one, I assure you," the Doctor sighed. "If I could get it to work properly you wouldn't see hide or hair of me."
Shaggy, Scooby, and Daphne laughed nervously at that comment, but Fred and Velma didn't. The Doctor didn't seem to be joking this time, even though he must have been.
"Doctor, don't scare them," Jo scolded.
"I'm sorry, I was just having you on," he assured them. His apology didn't seem genuine.
"Well, we're heading to a bigger mystery than the Doctor here," Jo offered. "We're here because of the strange goings on at Pickman Air Base."
"Yes, alien creatures have been sighted in area as well as random blackouts to all vehicles and electrical equipment," the Doctor continued in a breezy tone. "The aliens appeared genuine enough for UNIT to be called in. We're the world's go-to chaps when it comes to alien encounters you see."
"Do you believe in aliens Doctor?" Velma asked.
"I've believed in the existence in extraterrestrial life on a multitude of planets all my life," he replied without hesitation. "I'd go into details but your government would slap me down with some Official Secrets Act or some such nonsense. Governments have been covering up these things since before Lethbridge-Stewart and I encountered the yeti in the underground."
"You encountered real yetis?" Daphne gasped.
"Don't be ridiculous my dear," the Doctor snorted. "They were robots. Real yetis are shy and timid creatures. What possible reason would they have for terrorizing people in the London underground?"
"Yeah, like why would they?" Shaggy added sarcastically.
"Indeed," the Doctor sniffed, evidently missing his sarcasm. "Not all aliens are out to get you, you know. Some of them can quite delightful once you get to know them."
"Even if they are hard to get to know," Jo teased.
"Ahem," the Doctor gave her a sideways glance.
"So I've heard," Jo finished.
"If that's true like why do aliens from other planets get such a bad rap?" Shaggy asked.
"My dear fellow just think about it," the Doctor shrugged. "What kind of people would make contact with a warlike primitive planet like this one? Only four kinds naturally. Anthropologists, castaways, and profiteers who want to take something from a species that can't defend itself. Although what you possess on this planet that's worth having is a mystery that most species don't bother with. That leaves criminals and fugitives, the type of person who has no business making contact with a more primitive culture to begin with."
"I keep forgetting, which one are you Doctor?" Jo teased.
"Jo," the Doctor warned gently.
"Just kidding," she smiled.
"So uh, all joking aside where are we going Doctor?" Fred asked.
"Why we're going to Pickman Air Base, to search for evidence of extraterrestrials," the Doctor replied. "That's why we're here."
"No like seriously, where are we going?" Shaggy asked.
"I told you, to the abandoned American Air Force base," the Doctor repeated. "Unless you wish to turn around and find a gas station?"
"Really?" Daphne asked.
"Why do you find the concept of two agents from UNIT investigating possible alien manifestation so unbelievable?" the Doctor asked.
"For one thing your negative ion story doesn't add up," Velma replied. "If electricity doesn't work in this negative ion field how does your car keep going? It seems to be running just fine."
"Ah, well Bessie operates quite differently from anything produced by conventional science," the Doctor announced proudly. "For example, I've activated the minimum inertia hyperdrive which allows us to go as fast as we like and still come to a sudden stop without being thrown through the windshield. Shall I demonstrate?" With that remark he hit the brake and the roadster came to a sudden and complete stop. No one lurched forward in their seats, unless one counts flinching. Fred and Shaggy didn't fall off the running boards. Scooby didn't tumble forward into the Doctor and Jo. Everyone was still in their proper place. "Incidentally, that was an excellent observation Miss Dinkely. You don't normally see such a sterling example of observation and deductive reasoning…"
"Like what happened?" Shaggy gasped. "That sudden stop should have sent us flying!"
"I didn't even hear the tires screech!" Fred added. "What do you use for brakes Doctor?"
"I told you, I installed a minimum inertia hyperdrive into Bessie that neutralizes any inertia in the vehicle," the Doctor smiled. "There's none other like it on the planet."
"It's not just you," Jo apologized. "Every time he does this I'm so flustered he has to explain it to me like it was the first time."
Scooby and his friends laughed nervously as the Doctor started up the roadster again.
"That looks like our destination," the Doctor announced.
"Already?" Daphne protested. "I thought we were a lot further away from the air base than that!"
"Bessie can travel quickly on the open road," the Doctor explained. "There you are, my friends, Pickman Base."
From the road skimming along the edge, the base was a distant cluster of buildings at least a mile behind the chain link fence, the hangars, sheds, and towers appearing as a collection of child's blocks carelessly tossed in a jumble. The crimson hue from the setting sun bathed the entire area in an eerie red light making the base look like it was set up on the surface of Mars.
"I trust you won't find our visit boring," the Doctor said with a mischievous smile.
Next: Let's Split Up Gang