Oh, I figured out how to do it... Finally!

Disclaimer: I wish I did own Septimus Heap, but I don't, so there... Live with it

Author Note: This story gets weird, remember that...

Chapter 1

Fifteen years in the Young Army hadn't been good on Boy 359. He may have been a dorm boss but the ladder to higher things was slippery and he'd only made it to the second rung.

Boy 359 stared at his dirty feet in anticipation as he waited to be called in the commander's office so that he could be discharged. The Young Army discharged every boy after fifteen gruelling years, a way of keeping the army young.

Very few people ever saw the inside of the commander's office before they were discharged and Boy 359 was no exception. He owned nothing in the world, even the clothes on his back belonged to past recruits.

Like most Young Army recruits, 359 had no idea of the identity of his parents or, in fact, of himself, and what really annoyed him was the fact that Boy 412, a recruit under his jurisdiction had been discharged five years early and given an identity and a family, and had been allowed to learn magyk, as well as being the ExtraOrdinary Wizard Apprentice. Life was just plain unfair.

Around an hour later, Boy 359 found himself stumbling through the Forest in little more than a set of rags. During his time in the Army, he'd learnt to steer clear of the wolves and how to make a camp, but he really had no idea where he was and the trees seemed to loom closer in on him the darker it got.

Then he was pounced upon by three sandy haired boys not much older than himself, there was no mistaking that they were brothers, but the oldest one seemed a lot calmer than the other two.

"Who the hell are you, kid?" the oldest one asked smoothly.

"Er… Boy 359… You are?"

"Sam Heap. Those two are Edd and Eric, won't bother explaining the differences, you won't remember. Young Army, eh? Can't you think up a name for yourself..?"

"Heap? Are you related to 412?"

"412..? Sep? You know Sep? Cool. You can come stay at Camp Heap tonight, stay in Jojo's bender, he's off with the witches again."

359 looked at the trees for a little inspiration for his name, in the Young Army an imagination was not something to be proud of. The trees didn't seem to have much imagination either. "You can call me… Tre… Trevor."

One of the twins snickered.

"Shut up," Sam snapped. "I'll take you into the Castle in the morning, as far as the Manuscriptorium so you can find out who you are… Ask for Beetle, he's a good guy, he'll help you."

Trevor didn't sleep at all well that night, the sounds of nature combined with the snores from the Heap boys was enough to keep even the heaviest sleeper awake at night and Trevor was not a heavy sleeper.

Sam Heap gave Trevor some fish to eat once he'd decided to give up of the sleeping charade and he ate quickly, he'd never had fish before and he found it quite nice. He could get used to this.

"You know Trevor; you look a lot like my little brother Nicko… Sure you're not a cousin of mine or something?"

"No idea, sorry Sam…"

"No, it's alright; you just… seem familiar… Beetle will be able to find out for you. Come on."

Trevor liked Sam Heap, no one had ever been this kind to him before, but he was wary of Sam's brothers, they reminded him of 412 in a bad way, he never had liked 412…