I have been wanting to read a "What could/would/should have happened in the elevator?" story but I haven't seen much yet, sooo I decided to do one myself. Disclaimer after the story.
Going Down
Chloe threw Clark up against the wall with ease. Suddenly realizing just how close they were, and with her body pressed against his totally forgetting why they were there, she looked at him and said awkwardly,
"Heh...I guess we'll be going down together -- I mean, getting off togeth -- I mean –."
Clark's mind was in a fog. He had had a hard enough time trying not to fry Chloe earlier when he was pressed against her, with her cleavage inches from his face, and now their positions were reversed and she wanted to TALK to him?! What did she say again? He mumbled something in reply,
"That's OK. I'll just push the button for the stimulator – I mean, elevator."
Clark could not believe he had just said that! He needed to calm down before he did something even more stupid so he closed his eyes and began to repeat unhappily to himself,
"Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts..."
He imagines Lex in the bathroom, shaving his legs. Nope, not working… He then pictures Pete in a bikini:
"Eww!"
Pete is singing the theme from "I Dream of Jeanie" seductively, but he's interrupted when he burps.
"That's more like it", Clark thinks, feeling his tense body relax.
But Clark's vision then turns sexy; Pete's body morphs into Chloe in a red bikini and she blows him a kiss. Back to tense… He snaps out of his daydream to see that Chloe, too, is whispering,
"Think unsexy thoughts! Think unsexy thoughts!"
Just when Clark thinks he can't take it any more, the doors open. A nicely dressed woman and her twin girls stand there gaping at them.
"Oh my!"
Jumping behind Chloe to hide the evidence of their encounter Clark says,
"It's ok, you can come in!"
The woman, thinking she has interrupted something says,
"Uh, no, that's fine we'll just, uh, take the stairs."
Coming rapidly to her senses Chloe says,
"No, but nothing was happening. We weren't doing anything, really…"
The woman looks back to see the obviously flustered blond girl leaning out of the elevator doors and thinks to herself,
"I wish people would stop making out in the elevators! Won't someone please think of the Children?!"
End?
I know it's rough but I was so tickled by this idea I had to write it down. Unless you like the Simpsons like I do you probably won't think it's as funny.
So, anybody recognize this episode? I was going to do a serious story but after watching waaay too many Simpsons episodes I settled on a comedy/parody.
I do not own Smallville or the Simpsons. This is just for fun. Please don't sue, as I have nothing.