A/N: Yeah. I'm doing this fic because I am a little Merlin addicted right now. There will be five chapters of Merthur goodness. K? Ily.
I am working on my other fics in case you are concerned.
Disclaimer: BBC Merlin is not mine.
The first time was a surprise to both of them.
Arthur had been having nightmares ever since he got back with the Mortaeus plant, even after he had been to see Merlin. In fact, going and seeing Merlin did nothing to aid Arthur's fears. If anything, seeing Merlin pale and shivering in-front of the fire made the everything worse.
What if he hadn't made it back in time, what if the Mortaeus plant hadn't worked, what if Merlin was already dead? Although he had seen Merlin sitting up just a few hours earlier, his mind still lingered on the "what if"s. What if Merlin had a relapse of some sort and died despite of getting the cure? Arthur's brain had been going on like this for days.
And when his mind finally allowed him to rest it brought him horrid images. Merlin, cold, pale, not breathing, and dead. Dead because of him, because he hadn't been fast enough. Dead because the idiot was so damn noble that he had drank the poison even though he knew that it would at the very least kill him. Dead because Arthur had disobeyed his father and had not thought that he should avoid the main entrance. Dead because Arthur hadn't thought. Hadn't even considered the idea that his father would try and make this a lesson for him. He hadn't thought that the woman leading him into the cave could be a trap. Dead, dead, dead. Gone forever. The stupid, bumbling, useless manservant that Arthur shouldn't care about this much but he did. Gods, did he. And he was gone. No longer there, insulting him, treating him like an actual person rather than the prince he was.
Arthur would wake up in a cold sweat, with Merlin's name a horrified scream on the edge of his lips. He would try and calm down his breathing, and his mind. Assuring himself that he had, in-fact, gotten the plant in time. That Merlin was probably peacefully sleeping in his tiny room in the physicians quarters. Arthur would lay back down with the memory of Merlin thanking him in his mind, trying desperately to hold on to those thoughts. He would have no luck, however. The image of Merlin dead was still fresh and there in his mind. He would try fall back asleep. He would fail. The rest of the night would be spent laying in bed trying to think of something other than his concern for his manservant.
It was when Arthur had just fallen back asleep that a light was shone rather rudely on his face. He did not stay annoyed for long, because the light was accompanied by a cheerful voice.
"Rise and shine!" Merlin was there. Merlin was well. Arthur sat up immediately and blinked at his manservant. Merlin's brow furrowed in concern and the servant took a few steps towards his master.
"Are you alright, Sire? You look awfully pale and-" Merlin didn't get finish his sentence, in-fact he let out a rather undignified squeak. Without even realizing what he was doing Arthur had grabbed Merlin by the stupid neckerchief that Merlin wore and crushed Merlin's lips against his own. Merlin froze for a second and then kissed Arthur back as desperately as he had been kissed. And for a moment Arthur was the absolute happiest man in all of Albion.
It all ended to soon, however. Merlin started pulling away, started pushing Arthur away. Arthur, finally, truly, realizing what he was doing, let him go. Merlin didn't go far, however. He stopped at a distance where Arthur could still feel their breaths mixing. Both of them were breathing heavy, as though they had just ran for miles. Merlin's ears were tinged pink, his eyes were bright, and the only thing stopping Arthur from leaning forward and kissing him again was that Merlin had pulled away.
They stayed staring at each other for another few moments, then Merlin started back away, all the time stuttering.
"I'm sorry-I-I-can't-not while-not without-you and I-you would need to-but you don't-and I can't-" Arthur felt a tad guilty for putting Merlin in this situation.
"Shut up, Merlin." Arthur commanded. Merlin's mouth closed with a snap. "We shall never speak of this again. It never happened. Forget about it."
A flash of something like hurt flashed across Merlin's face. There was a beat of silence, both still staring at the other. Warily, this time.
"You're dismissed for today." Arthur continued, "I will see you tomorrow." Merlin nodded once, turned on his heel, and left the room, leaving a rather confused and empty feeling Prince behind him.
Arthur didn't really know what to think. He knew that he enjoyed the kiss, enjoyed it enough to want to do it again. But that didn't really confuse him, he knew already that he held some sort of affection for the servant. He just didn't realize how much affection until now. What bothered Arthur was that Merlin had kissed him back. Merlin had liked the kiss, of that he was certain. He just didn't know why Merlin had pulled back.
Then again, if they had been caught... Arthur didn't want to think about it. They really shouldn't, the consequences would be terrible for both of them, especially if the King found out. Merlin must have been worried about that. Which is fine, Arthur could see and respect that issue.
Well, at least Arthur was more reassured that Merlin was alive, even if their encounter hadn't done anything to settle his nerves and had, in-fact, given him more to think about. Arthur sighed and laid back on his bed.
The next day Arthur and Merlin went about their day as if nothing had happened, teasing and laughing and being together. In fact the two of them went like this for quite a while, and for that time it was if nothing had happened. They ignored it.
But neither of them forgot.
A/N: Yeah, I hoped you enjoyed it. R&R I love you, my pretties.