This is a oneshot Jade Fanfiction that is different than my usual ones. It is based on a song called Being Your Walls by Armor for Sleep and all I could think of when i heard it was thisI really hope you like it. Please review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star, any of it's characters, or Being Your Walls by Armor for Sleep.
Pull your arms up around your knees
I've been trying to help her these last few weeks. I can tell she's not happy with him anymore. He seems to go to bars every night and when he does she calls me. I think she knows that their relationship is pretty much over, but she may still think it has hope. When G-Major closed she chose Tommy over me and left for a year with him. They came back and got married within the next year. The public portrays them as the perfect couple and only us closest to both know otherwise.
And hide out inside your room
Tonight I came to their house to find her crying in the corner. Apparently Tommy had come in earlier, clearly intoxicated, and accused her of cheating on him with me. That sure is a joke. Jude has been completely faithful too him all this time, but he's always to drunk to see or enjoy it.
Pretend you can't feel at all
It seems as though she should leave, and I've told her that but she always insists that things will get better. She acts like his drinking is a one-time thing. That he's not going to be exactly the same the next night and hasn't been going on for months now.
Just realize that I know how you feel now
She's admitted to me that all of his drinking makes her feel rejected and as though he's distracting himself so he doesn't have to be with her. I can definitely relate to that rejection. When she left I had troubles filling the whole she created in me. I guess she feels that way too now. She called me three times tonight before I could get over. I was on a date with Kat…we started dating about a month ago and needless to say she's not been very understanding when I've ditched her to help Jude. She's always known that Jude comes first though.
If all I am is a distraction for you
It took me at least half an hour to get her out of the corner and into the bed. She refused to sit on the left side insisting that when Tommy comes back that's where he'll sleep. Honestly I don't think he's coming back, but I didn't want to upset her more by voicing my opinion. Soon I curled up next to her trying to comfort her and hoping it will make her feel less alone.
then I can't complain that you can't feel something for me
I started to run my fingers through her flowing blonde hair. This is as close as I've been to her in awhile so I decided to breath in as much of her scent as I could and try to commit it to memory, even if it would only be a poor imitation of the real thing.
Take all you can, find in me
I had to pull the covers over both of us because she soaked the front of my shirt with her tears. The convulsions of cold and exhaustion coming from her body shook the entire bed.
If all I am is a distraction for you
then I can't complain that you can't feel something for me
Even when her eyes are swollen and nose is running from crying so much, she is still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. My heart seemed to jump back to life in that moment after being numb for so long. I hadn't felt it since she broke it by choosing that scum.
Take all you can, find in me
I knew that I was still in love with her. That I was still completely invested in her and that I couldn't give her up even though she was married. That was why I sat by her every night making sure she would be alright and hoped that she wouldn't do anything drastic. She is the only thing I ever fully invested in, in this world and I can't get that investment back.
Can you think back to when things worked
Her crying didn't hurt me as much as when she was happy. I know that's selfish but it's how I honestly felt. Back then I knew she didn't need me and that she would be content living her life with Tommy.
When dreams were the days you lived
Every time I saw them together, before things fell apart, it was like she pushed the knife deeper into my chest. I could barely breath when she smiled at him or laughed at a joke he told. Now I could breath again and I had hope for a future. One where she and I could be together and she wouldn't have to cry over Tommy again.
When you never cried alone
This went on long before she pulled me in to help. I can't imagine what it was like before she leaned on me. I was surprised she waited so long considering the fact that I was always the one she came to in the past. I always looked out for her.
Just realize that I know how you feel now
It hurt a little now to though. I'm pretty sure I made it clear that she could leave Tommy and live with me. I would never treat her this way.
If all I am is a distraction for you
then I can't complain that you can't feel something for me
Take all you can, find in me
I think Tommy came back. I heard stumbling in the next room but I know he wouldn't come in anyways. He seems like he's ashamed of his drinking problem and maybe that's another reason Jude won't leave him. He'll probably just pass out on the couch like usual.
If all I am is a distraction for you
then I can't complain that you can't feel something for me
Take all you can, find in me
I'm going to take her to my house soon. I don't want her to wake up feeling just as bad as she was tonight. I know that if I stay the night then Tommy will think his accusations have some logic behind them.
I know how (know how)
You feel now (you feel now)
I would be so much better for her. She doesn't have to put up with this. I love her to and I know somewhere deep down she loves me the same way. She has to or she wouldn't trust me to take care of her like this. Trust that I won't tell anyone and that I will make sure things don't get out of hand with Tommy's temper. As far as I know he hasn't hurt her. She's had some bruises, but I know that she's clumsy so it's impossible to tell.
If all I am is a distraction for you
then I can't complain that you can't feel something for me
Take all you can, find in me.
I told her earlier that I was going to take her with me if I left so that's what I decide to do. I picked her up gently trying not to jostle her out of her sleep and I carried her into the living room while debating whether I should leave Tommy a note or not.
If all I am is a distraction for you
then I can't complain that you can't feel something for me
Take all you can, find in me.
I decide it will do him some good to worry about her…if he even does. I really just want Jude to realize how much better life could be for her, without him…. with me.