Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns it all.
They were laying on the grass, gazing at the starlit sky. Crickets chirped away, and
fireflies danced in the air, which smelled like summer roses. He held her to his chest
lovingly, relishing on the peacefulness of her thoughts. That is, until they turned
somewhat murky.
"What's wrong, baby?" Edward asked his daughter.
She sighed with a hint of sadness, her thoughts becoming more jumbled and thus
driving her father insane.
"It's just that I've been thinking of...certain things lately."
He immediately knew where she was getting at.
"Is this about your mother?" he asked tenderly, while rubbing cirlces on her back
soothingly.
"Well, yes but not exactly...Daddy, can I ask you something?"
"Of course. Anything."
Renesmee hesistated for a couple of minutes, not knowing exactly how to phrase her
question. Meanwhile, Edward waited patiently for her to collect her thoughts, twirling
one of her bronze locks on his index finger.
"Would you take it all back if you had the chance? You know...to have kept mom alive."
she murmured softly.
He pondered his reply for a while. Not that he wasn't sure how to answer. In fact, he'd
been expecting this for years, and his decision had been made since then. He was
merely figuring out how to explain this to her in the right way.
"Ness, I loved your mother very much. Words can't express how strong were my
my feelings for her. She was the love of my life -no, the love of my existence- and I'll
never love another woman like I did her."
Renesmee took a deep breath.
"I completely understand-" she began, but Edward cut her off.
"Let me finish, darling. I indeed would do anything to have saved your mother's life.
Anything except sacrificing yours."
"But you wanted me dead..." she replied, her voice cracking.
Several feelings coursed through Edward's heart at that moment. Guilt, remorse, regret,
anger at himself...But mostly pain. For if his little girl was in pain, so was he.
"Honey..." Edward's voice cracked, too, "you have to understand that those were hard
times for me and...I was torn. Most importantly, though, I need you to know that I would
have never gone through with that."
He took a pause, letting Renesmee take it all in.
"You see, dear, I...I thought I hated you, when in reality I only felt hatred toward myself.
I just...couldn't see it that way during that time. I was blinded by the need to protect
your mother from everything, so much that I forgot something very important -to protect
you. I always loved you, since the very beginning. You're half my Bella, but most
importatly, you're half me. You're my little girl. Not realizing how much you truly meant
to me is something I'll regret for the rest of my existence," he concluded, kissing his
daughter's cheek and letting his lips linger there.
They enjoyed a comfortable silence together, until Renesmee broke it.
"What about your happiness..." she trailed off timidly.
Edward smiled in response, but immediately turned serious, yet gentle.
"That doesn't matter anymore. My happiness wasn't, is not, and will never be worth
your life. Besides, as long as you're happy, I'm happy too. And I'm absolutely sure that
your mother is also, may her soul rest in peace."
She snuggled up closer to him, when all of a sudden a few tears fell.
"I...I miss her so much."
"I miss her too, baby..." he replied comfortingly.
"You know...This might sound crazy, but...sometimes I can hear her voice."
This made Edward chuckle, for he could her Bella, too.
"So do I. What does she tell you specifically?" he questioned, mildy curious.
"Well, mostly how much she loves me...She also sings to me when I can't sleep and
comforts me when I'm sad. It's as if she were right there with me."
Neither of them knew that Bella had been present through the entire conversation, with
the most glorious smile in her face. Nothing gave her more peace than seeing her two
loved ones live in perfect harmony.
"I know exactly how it feels..." Edward replied at last.
And during that exact moment, he knew for sure that he would never change a thing.
Author's note: I know this may seem slightly unrealistic to some of you, but this is how I would have wanted things to be like if Bella had died in Breaking Dawn. Please review(: