Something that kept me awake till like 3:30 one night, so it's probably ridiculous but I need to write it down if I ever want sleep again, haha.
Set after The Gift and before the beginning of season 6 and was kinda hard to write, so please rate and be kind!
A.N. I also want to say that I personally like the character of Dawn, I know some people don't but no character bashing please. And I'm not writing her whiney or bitchy, I can kind of relate (not in the vampire, slayer, end on the world way) and this is what I kinda felt like. So yeah... read on :)
He kept to the shadows, not new for him, but the Summers girl he watched was. It was painful, being this close and knowing that he would never see that blonde flash of hair, hear her childlike giggle; the only give away of her young age or her face light up in a smile.
He sighed, torturing himself again was not going to help. Although this, again, was not new for him. Yes, she was gone. But he had a duty to do, even though she had never asked it was an unspoken agreement. If anything, anything happened, he would protect her loved ones. They were the only part he had left of her.
So he watched, from the outside, only to interfere when needed. He watched as her loved ones grieved, as the man who was like a father in every way left, he watched a they tried to mend their broken lives. All the while her sister was slowly fading. All ties to her family severed.
Angel ached for the girl, who would have to grow up too much before her time. Exactly as her sister had. He was not in the mood for history to repeat itself.
Dawn left her school, it was winter and uncharacteristically cloudy for Sunnydale, causing night to ascend quicker. Which the vampire was grateful for, it was less conspicuous to walk than follow a teenager in a blacked out car. Luckily the residents always turned a blind eye to suspicious behaviour... well only for the things that go kill in the night, not so lucky for the killed.
As he watched the young Summers wave good bye to her friends and wait for whoever's turn it was to pick her up that day. Angel was pained to remember a similar memory, only this time the young girl had dark circles under her eyes and wasn't full of life and shining in the sun as he sister had.
It was still too hard to remember things like this, too hard to think her name, even her sister's name. Although, in order to move on he would need to face his demons. But for now, he would avoid and watch, be the guardian angel he knew she would want him to be for her family.
He would wait for Dawn to be in the safety of her house until he patrolled, always careful to keep out of the way from the Scoobies. His charges wouldn't take too kindly if they knew what he was doing, they would insist they could handle anything, anything the S- she, could handle. He clenched his jaw in frustration and grief.
But those emotions were stopped short when Dawn took her mobile out to ring Willow. He stared in shocked disbelief which soon turned to anger when he heard what she was telling the wiccan.
"Hey, Willow? Yeah it's Dawn. Listen, I have a lift home today, Sarah's mum is taking me after our group presentation meeting."
Her face was deadpanned. Angel was livid, but couldn't move.
"Yeah, I told you. OK. See you later."
She hung up and put her phone in her bag, taking a stake out. She didn't bother check if anyone could see her. She was alone on the steps of the school.
She began to cross the road, again, not looking. Angel was now panicking. What was she doing? He didn't have to wait long to find out, she was walking directly towards him. He had only seen that look once before, in another lifetime. A look that held determination, resentment, pain and sadness. No fear.
He was now really panicking. The girl was just meters away, to close for him to make a run for it. He wasn't scared of what Dawn would do with the stake, she was no match for his strength. But for both their emotional and mental well-being, this was not going to be easy on either one of them.
He braced himself for the wrath of the younger Summers girl, and wondered briefly what made all the women in the family so terrifyingly strong.
"So were you planning on speaking to me?!! Or just stalking me forever?!!" She was seething. Hurt, that he hadn't spoken to her. He should have known Dawn would know she was being followed, her sister had taught her well.
"I'm not just going to let you do that this time you know! If you are going to be here at least tell me!" Angel knew what Dawn was referring to. The other time he had done this, he hadn't wanted to tell her he was in Sunnydale. Always in the shadows.
She was panting from shouting, he let her catch her breath. She wasn't done yet.
"And what are you doing here?!" She flung at him, glaring. She had every right to ask, no longer young and innocent. At least not innocent.
"What, you're just going to follow me around?! Not say anything?!" She was on the verge of tears, he could tell. And he felt wretched for it, she had already been through enough.
"You weren't here before, so you're trying to make amends now?!" Her bottom lip was quivering, her voice almost at the point of breaking. He attempted to get his sympathy and own pain across to her by is expression. Poor attempt.
"She's gone!" Screaming now. Ripping his already shredded heart.
"Buffy's gone!!!" Angel's demeanour broke at the mention of her name. His friends back in LA had been careful not the mention her or anything Sunnydale around him, they knew he wouldn't be able to handle it.
Realisation, shock and pain flashed through Dawn's face as she realised what she'd done.
Angel had crumpled to the floor in tears, his face had an expression she had never seen before. A look of tortured grief.
She burst into tears alongside him and crashed to the floor. Embracing him as tightly as she could. She had no idea how long they stayed in each others arms, sobbing. All coherent thought and sense of time had escaped them both. For now they needed to grieve an heal together.
Somehow they found themselves sitting by her grave. Angel had been here every night after patrolling, not wanting her to spend them alone. Dawn told him of the last few days, even though it was hard for him, he needed to hear it. Accepting what had happened would be easier if he knew the details. He also wanted to know every detail of her life he missed, so that he had a way of keeping his memories fresh, when he felt strong enough to visit them.
Just before one, exhausted, Dawn had fallen asleep against his shoulder. She reminded him so much of her sister, and his. He realised; so trusting, innocent, caring. He had always seen her as one, but never knew why he felt so protective, especially when her own sister sometimes would be passive towards her.
He moved to gather her up in his arms and take her home, but as soon as he did her eyes opened. Still red and slightly damp, her large eyes looked up at him. Worried questions etched into them.
"What happens now? Do you go back, or are you going to stay?" He sighed, not knowing how to answer. He felt like he had no place left in the world. The reason for his redemption, his existence was gone. What did happen now?
"I can stay for a long as you need me here," he began gently "but sooner or later we are both going to have to let go. Tears welled up in her deep eyes as she looked away and whispered just loud enough for his vampiric ears to pick up.
"I've already lost a mother, father, sister and Hank." She added on after a pause. "There's nothing left for you here now. I don't want to lose a brother too." Her lip was trembling as her words became almost inaudible even to him. And not for the first time since he'd been around a Summers, his heart broke.
He wrapped her up fiercely in his arms; as if to protect her from anything that may ever threaten her life, feelings or heart. Because truthfully, he felt the same same way about her. She was his sister, for all intensive purposes. And right now, that was all that mattered. Placing a kiss firmly on the top of her hair, he silently made a vow to himself that, for Dawn's sake, he wouldn't let anything happen to him, ever. So he would always he there for her.
"Never." Was all he said, and from his tone they both knew it was true. And Dawn lay her head on his shoulder, no longer able to keep her sleep at bay.
When she woke in the morning, she was in her house, in bed. Confused as to why she felt strange, she realised this was the first night since it happened that she hadn't cried herself to sleep, her pillow and sheets weren't covered in her salty tears. As the previous night slowly came back to her; she wondered for a second if she had dreamt the whole night.
But as she looked over to her dresser, Dawn was knew she wasn't imagining things. There was a sketch of her, Buffy and Angel smiling; almost like a more natural looking family portrait. A smile flashed across her face for a brief moment in remembrance. It must have been drawn when Angel still lived in Sunnydale as Dawn and Buffy both looked young. Angel of course looked the same.
Sitting on top of the drawing was a ring; Buffy's ring she realised. The one Angel had given her on her seventeenth birthday. Dawn had no idea how Angel had gotten hold of it, her sister always knew where it was and rarely let it out of her sight.
As she picked it up, sadness overwhelmed the youngest Summers, but also comfort. She knew her real family would always be there for her. Whether she saw them or not. Smiling to herself she slipped the ring onto her finger and held it to her chest, looking down at the drawing Dawn felt ready to begin a new day.