Author: IFoundNowhere
Dedication: Nymbis! The wonderful author of a veritable oasis of SaixSakura fics. Check her stories out!
Summary: This prank war had gone on far too long. Unfortunately, neither seemed willing to give up. SaixSakura (duh)
Wordcount: 1,195
Prank Warfare
-xxx-
It's only funny until somebody gets hurt, then it's hilarious.
-No Idea
Admittedly, this war had gone on for far too long. It was quite probable that someone was soon going to seriously get hurt. But she refused to lose to the prick, damnit! An immeasurable amount of misdeeds had been carried out by both parties, and neither seemed ready to give up yet.
"SAI! I SWEAR EVERY HOLY POWER THERE IS THAT WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I WILL WREND YOU LIMB FROM LIMB, SKIN YOU ALIVE AND THEN DIP YOU IN A CONCOTION OF LEMON JUICE, VINEGAR, SALT, AND TOMA-"
Sitting at the breakfast table of their shared house, Naruto peered at the ceiling warily while Sai adopted his default smile, although it was slightly more strained than usual.
"Oi, what did you do this time, Sai? She seems especially pissed off this morning. I give you twenty seconds before she comes down here to eat you alive," Naruto helpfully tacked the last part on.
Sai simply sat there donning his usual smile, moving only to tense up when pounding footsteps were heard on the stairs. Both men turned to the entrance of the kitchen, where Sakura emerged looking like some creature of lore. Her pink hair was sticking up from her head at odd angles, there were pillow creases on her face, and the straps of her tank top looked ready to snap any moment from the force of her breathing.
"Good morning, Hag. I see you found my present." His smile remained were it was, despite the ever increasing urge to let it slide off his face and run as fast as he could.
Sakura growled menacingly and stomped over to Sai, shoving two garments into his face in the partial hope that he would suffocate.
"What the hell, Sai?! I have to wear these to work!"
Across her mandatory medic's top written in regrettably permanent ink were the mortifying words,
"Naughty Nurse" Naruto read aloud, his face slowly turning red from his effort to hold his laugh in.
Spanning the width of the back of her medic's skirt the letters gleamed ominously,
"A Penny A Pinch" The blond idiot quickly lost all hold on his composure and fell off his chair, guffawing loudly for the neighbors to hear.
Sakura kicked the jinchuuriki in the ribs before turning her glare full force back to Sai, "It's on every single one! What were you thinking?!"
Sai's eyes closed as his smile widened, "I was simply repaying you for your last alteration of my wardrobe, and in the process helping us with our rent money. Not that I imagine many will be interested in your backside, but surely some of your patients must be doped up enough on painkillers to mistake you for attractive."
Sakura's face turned deathly pale in fury before her normal coloring and then some rushed back.
"I HATE YOU! RAAAH!"
With that eloquent statement, she lunged for the artist, hands outstretched to wrap around his neck. Forgetting every lesson in wrestling she learned at the academy, Sakura rolled gracelessly with the man, trying her hardest to squeeze the smile off his handsome face. Quickly sobering when Sai's normally paper-white complexion started to turn purple, Naruto hauled the enrage medic from the socially inept ninja.
"Oi, Sakura-chan, calm down. The asswipe shouldn't have written this on your medic outfit, but you already messed with his clothes. It'll be ok, I'm sure you can borrow somebody else's uniform until we find a way to get the ink out."
As Naruto slowly babbled soothing nonsense into her ear, Sakura's rage ebbed away as she thought of her previous prank on Sai. A flush of pride replaced the splotchy red on her face when she fondly reminisced the artist's reaction to finding that she had lengthened all of his odd belly-shirts to a normal length using bright pink fabric.
With one last snarl at Sai, Sakura stomped back up the stairs to get ready for work. Tsunade was never going to let her live this down.
-xxx-
It had started on April Fools Day, arguably every devious ninja's favorite holiday of the year. The day was one for practical jokes, stealthy tricks, and downright humiliating mishaps. In her younger years, the twenty-one year old Sakura had tried her hardest to keep her wicked sense of humor under wraps. Now that she was older and much less concerned with appearances, she embraced the holiday with an almost depraved intensity. It was only natural that the victims of her pranks would be two of her closest friends who also happened to be her housemates. So once the clock struck midnight, she stealthily crept down the stairs, glad that the notoriously light-sleeping Sai was on a mission and wouldn't return until sometime later that day.
She went eagerly to work emptying all of Naruto's precious ramen into a drawer, refilling the empty containers with dried eggplant, a food he absolutely detested, imagining his wails of despair when he realized that his main food source had been tampered with. Snickering quietly to herself, she hopped lightly back up the stairs, walking to the room across from Naruto's and next to hers. The pink haired medic opened the door, dodging the rain of shuriken that flew at her from somewhere near the window, before purposely tripping the only other trap in the room, which caused a large battleaxe to swing down from the ceiling. Noticing something written on the battleaxe, she shuffled closer, trying to read in the dark.
Written in Sai's unmistakable elegant script was the word 'Sakura'. Mildly flattered that he would name anything after her, she traced the letters. A second later her hands clenched around the word, almost cracking the handle when she realized what the artist had meant to imply by naming such a weapon after her.
"I am not a battleaxe!" The enraged kunoichi hissed to herself, furious that the absent ANBU had even thought such a thing.
Fueled by the insult, she set to her task with a renewed sense of purpose. Resetting the traps so that Sai would be unaware she had been in his room during his absence, she took a glance around the room. Striding quickly to the large desk in one corner of the room, she set about searching the drawers for his stash of ink. Finding it, she hefted the large container with a triumphant grunt, before pulling a scroll from her shirt and unsealing what was contained within. The container that emerged from the scroll looked identical to the one she had pulled from his drawer. Only she knew that instead of Sai's customary expensive ink, the container held industrial-grade, slightly diluted tar.
Snatching every small ink container she could find in his desk and refilling it with the foul-smelling substance, Sakura mentally crowed with happiness over the thought of his reaction.
Two days later when she woke up after a particularly gruesome hospital shift, and entered their shared bathroom only to find that her precious petal hair had been dyed a rather garish shade of orange, rage filled her anew.
Oh it was so on.
-xxx-
So there's the first installment of this fic. There will only be one more installment. I hope you enjoyed this! Especially you, Nymbis. See you all next time!
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