A.N. – The title of this story is also the title of track 5 on the Hawaii Five-O soundtrack album, so I'm tipping my hat to the amazingly talented Morton Stevens. Mrs. Kelly's quotation in the 12:25 section is taken from the season 2 episode "Cry, Lie" so are not my own words. Thanks to Tanith2011 for beta reading this story.
The Long Wait
5:30 pm
Our small yellow kitchen is filled with the usual chaos surrounding the final preparations of the evening meal. The young children are already seated, demanding to be fed. The older ones with their assigned chores are doing their best to help me get the food to the table. The telephone rings just as a bowl of rice is accidentally knocked to the floor. Alia volunteers to clean up the mess, and I step into the quiet of the living room to take the call. As I lift the receiver, I can practically repeat from memory the brief conversation that is about to take place.
"Hello?"
"Hello dear. I have to work late tonight so I won't make it home for dinner. Tell Tilda that I'll tuck her in when I get home."
"Okay, Chin. Please be careful. Love you."
We say our goodbyes. Chin goes back to his police work. I go back to the kitchen.
8:00 pm
The dishes are finished, the kitchen is cleaned up and the house is quiet. Alia has gone to Pamela's house to spend the night. Tim and Suzy are busy with their homework; the younger ones are in bed. I finish folding and putting away the day's last load of laundry then I tidy up the living room, picking up after my children: Tim's football, Suzy's Tiger Beat magazine,Tilda's stuffed dog. When I run out of trivial chores to try to distract my mind, I make myself a cup of tea and settle in for the wait. It certainly isn't the first time and it won't be the last. But it is never easy.
10:15 pm
I glance at the clock then notice light still shining from beneath two closed bedroom doors. I get up and firmly but quietly knock on one door then the other.
"Tim! Suzy! It's past ten o'clock. Finish up and get to bed; you have school tomorrow.
"Oh Mom, just a few more minutes," Tim complains from behind the door.
"Now, Tim."
When I am satisfied that my two budding scholars have put their books away for the night, I return to my chair and stare at the telephone, willing it to ring. Part of me is afraid that it will ring because something has gone terribly wrong. I have answered those calls before. If I hear Steve's or Danny's voice, I know that something bad has happened. Years ago when Chin was attacked in an alley, it was Danny who made the call. My husband's skull was fractured and it had required surgery; thank God he survived that. When Chin was shot, it was Steve's voice when I answered the phone. When he was nearly blinded by a gun blast, it was Danny's. So I sit and wait, hoping that if the phone does ring, I will hear my husband's voice.
Needing to keep busy, I pull out my mending basket. On top of the pile is Tilda's Sunday dress; the hem needs to be let out. She's growing up so fast.
11:00 pm
As the dark, lonely hours tick by, far too many frightening possibilities invade my mind even as I try to push them away. The wail of a distant siren joins the peaceful background noise of rustling palm trees and chirping insects. I touch the rosary beads in my dress pocket and pray for my husband's safety.
A muffled cry pulls me from my thoughts. I make my way to the girls' room and quietly open the door.
"Mama?" my youngest calls out amid her tears.
"I'm right here, Peanut. Did you have a bad dream?"
Tilda nods her head and wipes her eyes on her pajama sleeve.
"Want to sit up with me for a while?" I ask, already knowing what her answer will be.
My little Peanut reaches her arms up and I gather her in mine, carrying her into the living room. I return to my chair, rocking Tilda and singing to her. Soon she is asleep in my lap, her head cradled in the crook of my arm. With my latest distraction now sleeping peacefully, I continue to wait and worry.
Chin has always been honest with me about the realities of his job…brutally honest. He was up front about that right from the very beginning. He was with HPD when we became engaged. He asked me to really think about the life we would have when he proposed marriage. And I did think about it. But in the end, I had to do what my heart told me to do, and my heart belonged to Chin.
My parents weren't happy that Chin was a cop. My family feared that I would be an early widow; that any children we had together might have to grow up without a father. But when you love someone so much, as I loved Chin, it's hard to see beyond that. And by the grace of God, here we are, eight children later, still together.
12:25 am
I've now settled Tilda back in her own bed; my little Peanut is fast asleep. Chin still isn't home and I'm having trouble keeping a lid on my fears. I pace the living room floor. Dear God, I hate this waiting! Where are you, Chin? What was it that I told my husband years ago, that time when he was accused of taking bribes?
We've been through times like this before, bad times when we thought we'd never come through it alive. But we can be tough when we have to be!
I must be tough now, for my husband and for my family. I can't let this get to me! I continue my pacing. As I pass the fireplace, I stop and pick up our framed wedding portrait from the mantel. It takes me back to that happy day so long ago. I think about our vows.
Being a cop's wife isn't easy. So many missed meals, so much time away from the family, there are times that I have to be both mother and father to our kids. Would I have chosen a different life? When my parents were less than supportive about my engagement to Chin, my sister told me something very wise that I've always remembered: You love whom you love and you accept whatever that includes – it's a package deal. Cops need wives, too and I will be the best cop's wife that I can be.
1:00 am
I must have dozed off…was that a car door that I just heard? I drift back into a light sleep until I am awakened by a gentle pipe tobacco scented kiss followed by "I'm home, sleepy head" whispered in my ear.
"Oh Chin!" A flood of relief jolts me wide awake and I wrap my arms around my dear husband, hugging him tightly. "I'm so glad you're home!"
"Sorry I'm so late, but we finally broke open that major drug ring; arrested the top man, too."
Chin well knows what my next question will be: "Is everybody okay?"
Appreciating my concern for his brother detectives, Chin squeezes my hands and looks me in the eye. "Steve took a bullet to the shoulder, but he'll be fine. Danny drove him to Leahi, but I expect he'll be at work tomorrow morning if not sooner."
I breathe a silent prayer of thanks.
"Come on," Chin says as he helps me up. "Let's go to bed."
"After you tuck Tilda in," I remind him affectionately.
The long wait is over. That is, until the next time.
Pau