Two weeks after the memorial held in honour of Lancelot, Merlin goes to Arthur late in the evening. The last time he tried to speak with the prince about the kiss they shared while hiding from the Dorocha, the young warlock was spurned, sent away with his tail between his legs. Tonight, however, Merlin will not be deterred. And Merlin in a determined mood is a force to be reckoned with. The young warlock cannot find his master in his chambers so he goes out onto the battlements and finds Arthur there, watching the stars.
"Arthur?" The young warlock carefully approaches his prince, wary about being dismissed as before.
"Hmmm?" Arthur has his back to Merlin but the former can tell that the other man is relaxed and at ease, perhaps more willing to discuss what happened then before.
"Can we discuss what happened between us?" Merlin knows that there is no need to reiterate what specific event he is referring to.
At hearing the words of his servant, Arthur turns and stalks past the warlock towards the entrance to the battlements. Wordlessly, Merlin follows the blonde-haired prince towards his chambers. It is only when the two are located safely behind the door of Arthur's chamber, and it has been barred, that he dares to speak.
"It is an event better forgotten," comments the prince.
"What if I wish to remember?" retorts Merlin. "Are you telling me that kissing me was merely the impulse of the moment, arising from some kind of affection for me which has nothing to do with love? We shared a connection, and we both felt it. Do not stand there lying and tell me you did not!"
Arthur sighs when he hears the words of Merlin and turns away to remove the gloves and armour he had been wearing, throwing them upon the table. After running his hand through his blond hair, considering his reply, he turns back to face Merlin. "Even if I felt what you supposed me to feel, what would it change?"
"It would change everything," returns Merlin.
"Would it change the fact that one day I shall inherit Camelot and carry a burden which I am not prepared for? Will it change the fact that my father would never accept me loving another man? Would it change the fact that I am supposed to marry a woman and have heirs?"
"Who was speaking of the future?" Merlin walks to Arthur and reaches out to cradle the face of the prince in his hands. "What do you want here and now?"
"I want you." The answer was simple, and yet so complicated.
"I am here for the taking."
"And afterwards?" returns Arthur cautiously.
"I know better then anyone the burdens which you carry. Tonight, you do not have to carry them alone." Merlin leans in and whispers seductively into the ear of the other man, making him shiver. "I want to feel you inside me."
Arthur reaches out and grabs the shoulders of his servant, regarding him with a gaze which is inscrutable. "I hate you,"
"Whatever did I do?" Merlin asks with that innocent smile on his face which Arthur adores.
"You made me feel." Arthur had learned early to hide his emotions and it was only when Merlin came along that he learned he could not always govern them. Now he has come to relish the fact that he is not in control, merely sitting on the crazy horse which cannot be tamed, allowing the animal to take him where he will.
"Then hate me or love me at your own discretion. Just kiss me already, goddamn it!" Arthur complies and is immediately lost in the scent which is so unique to Merlin alone, a mixture of apples, horses and herbs. The prince invades the mouth of the other man and their tongues wrestle for dominance. Arthur pushes Merlin up against the wall and pins him there. As he sucks on an earlobe offered by a very willing warlock, he mutters; "Do not ever do that again."
"Do what?" Merlin finally gasps, half gone in the ecstasy which Arthur is revealing to him. His fingers are enveloped in the hair of his prince and he holds on for dear life, as if Arthur might vanish should he let him go.
"Die on me." Arthur pulls away and Merlin can gaze into those blue eyes, vast like the ocean. They are filled with pain, hunger and a touch of something else; dare Merlin label it as affection, perhaps love? The young warlock is not capable of an answer, he merely nods in acceptance.
Then, before Merlin is quite aware of what is happening, he has been stripped of his clothes and is lying down upon the four-poster bed, waiting for the pain which will inevitably come. He feels Arthur enter him and arches up to meet every single thrust made by Arthur. Soon enough, Merlin is lost in the ecstasy he has never experienced before. Arthur kisses the back of his neck and entwines their fingers together so that Merlin will have something to hold onto. Not only is the ecstasy unbearable, Merlin has never known what it is to be whole until this very moment. The crazy world around him has finally begun to make sense thanks to Arthur. He knows that if he has the prince beside him, there is nothing that they cannot conquer together. They reach the explosive peak together and their groans must have been heard by half the palace.
Merlin experiences physical want when Arthur pulls out of him, he wants to feel the prince inside of him again.
The young warlock notes that the prince has not taken off his clothes, he has merely pulled down his trousers to perform the deed. Now, Arthur pulls them up again, rises and walks over to the window.
"Merlin?"
"Yes?" The young warlock is reclining on the bed, his body still humming with contentment and the feeling of finally being alive.
"Fetch me some water. I need to wash." At the request Merlin sits up and gazes in the direction of the other man, trying to read his inscrutable features. Since this cannot be done, Merlin arises, gathers his clothing which had been thrown hither and thither and dons them again. He walks out the door, hoping Arthur will stop him but he does not. He goes to the kitchens, heats the water and brings it to the chambers of the prince, leaving Arthur alone after being ordered to do so.
The next morning, Merlin is awake earlier then usual, waiting for the sun to come up in the west so that he can meet Arthur. As soon as the cock crows, he throws on his clothes and runs to the chambers of Arthur, eager to assess the feelings of the other man about the night before. The prince is not in his chambers so Merlin goes to the battlements like the evening before. Noises in the courtyard below draw his attention and his heart sinks when he notes that the horses are being prepared and the knights are getting ready for a journey. Arthur is going on a quest.
The next sight which catches his attention is Arthur emerging from the castle with his arm slung over the shoulders of Gwen. He goes to his horse and decides against kissing her in front of the stablelads and other people present, instead he reaches out and cups her chin with his hand. She kisses his palm in return.
Arthur is about to ride away when he notes the figure on the battlements, recognises it as Merlin and waves, his hair glowing in the morning sunshine, the golden boy, the hope of Camelot. Merlin returns the gesture and the prince rides away.
Arthur is gone for an agonizing two weeks but Merlin hears through the other servants that he has been successful in quelling a rebellion in the west. On the day Arthur arrives, Merlin is humming with excitement and it is noted by several people how happy he is. When Arthur rides into the courtyard at sunset, Merlin is waiting in his chambers to greet him, sitting in his chair with his feet resting on the table. A smile spreads over his face as the prince enters. He shall finally realize all his hopes; the distant dreams shall now become reality. He and Arthur will fulfil their destiny, side by side, as one; soulmates.
"I hear congratulations are in order," Merlin comments when Arthur has entered the room.
"Yes, they are," Arthur returns, if a bit timidly. Merlin is confused until he spots the figure of Gwen behind Arthur. "You see, I asked Gwen to marry me a moment ago and she has consented."