Written as a side story to my side story, Karaoke, which goes with Camelot, which is a sequel to Selfish.

This was a request from an LJ friend who mentioned Rhodey having a Two Live Crew poster, and this came out of my brain.

"I swear to God you haven't cleaned any of this stuff out since you moved here."

"Maybe. Maybe not. I'm a bachelor, Tony. I don't have to clean my apartment if I don't wanna."

Tony snorted. "I'm a bachelor too, Rhodey, but I still keep my shit clean."

"Yeah, well, you've got a maid to pick up behind you. And Pepper on your ass."

James Rhodes was in the middle of spring cleaning his apartment, something he dreaded doing but was necessary if he didn't want his landlord all over his ass again. Plus, Samantha said she was coming over later that evening, and he did not want her seeing dirty dishes and clothes strewn all over the floor. Currently, the two friends were in the guest room, where the majority of the mess was, sorting through boxes and boxes of old stuff that he hadn't probably looked at in ages. He planned on keeping the real important, sentimental things and donating the rest to the local Goodwill, but Tony kept distracting him with silly questions.

"Can I have this?"

"Rhodey, seriously. I thought only chicks liked trashy romance novels."

"Did your mama make you this sweater in elementary school?"

Jimmy had nearly told him to back off and leave but he needed the help and Tony had, surprisingly, offered. With Pepper out of town for her sister's wedding and most of the Board on vacation, Tony was bored out of his mind. Out of pity, Jimmy had offered a night on the town the next night but only after he spent a little time with his date, Samantha, the cute new bartender from The Spot downtown. Tony had reluctantly put the boys night out on hold, but his eyes perked up at the thought of Rhodey with a date.

He had demanded an extensive physical description, and went so far as to ask for exclusive details on the date itself. That had earned him a hard jab in the side.

Tony sorted through a box in the corner of the room labeled "Misc." and was having a field day. "Jesus, I haven't seen this shirt since that time we went to Westin Crawley's party in school…ew…Rhodey, it still has the bloodstains on it…"

Rhodey chuckled. "Yeah, I figured I'd keep it the way it is, a testament to good times."

Tony paused for a second then broke out in a grin. "Or maybe a testament to whuppin' ass." That had Jimmy laughing. "Man, he was asking for it! There's only so many times you can spill beer on me and get away with it."

Tony chucked the shirt in the keepsake box and sniggled. "He was just jealous you got to Katie McCollins before he did. And that she went back and told him you had a bigger dick."

Jimmy stopped short and swivled around. "Are you fuckin' kidding me?!" Tony shook his head and placed a hand over his heart, his face solemn. "I wouldn't lie, Platypus. Of course, she told him mine was bigger too…so."

"You slept with Katie McCollins?"

"Hell no. That was back when I had standards, Rhodey. And was conveniently still a virgin."

Ancient history, coming from Tony Stark.

"You used to be a virgin?!" Rhodey asked in mock surprise. "I swear to God, I thought you were sorta born a philandering playboy."

Tony laughed and threw a notebook that landed Jimmy square in the forehead. "Ha ha, Rhodes. I'm not the slut you think I am." Jimmy just shook his head and kept sorting. They were quiet for several more minutes later as Tony dug through more of the Misc. box, and Jimmy through a box from his first apartment. And then…

"Lord have mercy."

Tony sat cross legged on the floor with a look that could only be described as pure glee. His eyes were wide as saucers and a little hungry and in his hand was a large poster. From the back, Jimmy had no affirmation of what the poster had on it, but he had a pretty good idea if the look on Tony's face was any clue. Something inside him twisted.

"Um, Tones. Man, I swear I haven't seen the poster in years…it was kinda just in there and-"

"You've been holding out me! You've had this all this time and didn't even share it with me? I thought we were supposed to be friends!

"Tony! Did you just hear what I said?!"

Tony hopped up and dusted the poster off, licking his lips in the process. "Um, so yeah. You keeping this? No? Mkay, I'll just take it off your hands and be on my merry way."

Jimmy jumped up from where he'd been sitting and stood in front of Tony. "I don't think so, man. That's my poster. Mine. You have no right to it. I'm sure there's one somewhere in the city. It's L.A. after all."

"But why would I wanna go scour Los Angeles for a poster of this…this…luciousness-"

"Tony, that's not even a word."

"-when I can just cop if from my bestest friend in the whole world?"

Rhodey cocked an eyebrow and sighed. "No."

"Why?!"

"Because it's a keepsake. And it's history. It means a lot, Tony."

Tony smiled that Cheshire cat grin of his and tilted his head to the side. "This has something do with a girl, doesn't it?"

Rhodey shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Every thing doesn't have to be connected to girls, contrary to popular belief."

"You're gonna tell me, though, right?"

"It's personal. And I don't wanna talk about it. I just want my poster back. Hand it over."

The look on Jimmy's face was enough to comply, though he did have a hard time letting go. Jimmy then proceeded to roll the poster back up and put in the corner closest to him. He sat back down and silently resumed sorting.

Tony frowned. "Jesus, Rhodey, sorry. If you want that poster that bad, I'll leave it alone. Just a poster. Nothing special."

He didn't notice his best friend wince slightly.

It was 6:40 before everything was sorted to Rhodey's satisfaction. James took his keepsake box and stored it neatly in the guest room closet; Tony finished packing up the donations and put them in the hallway. The remainder of the cleaning job had been a little strained and quiet. Tony had actually did more work than Jimmy thought he would have; he had kept his mouth shut the entire time. With a sigh, James followed Tony to the front door as he got ready to leave.

"Look man, I'm sorry about earlier, it's just…"

Tony smiled, shook his head, and shrugged. "It's okay. Even you are allowed to have secrets."

Jimmy rolled his eyes at that and couldn't help smiling. "Hey, today was…fun for the most part. See you tomorrow still?" Tony nodded and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Yep. Can't wait." He stood there silent for a moment, almost as if he was reluctant to go home, and Rhodey realized sourly that he was. As popular a man as Tony Stark was, he was pretty lonely in real life. All he wanted at that moment was a little man to man time with his best friend, something no woman in the world could offer.

Feeling just a bit guilty, Rhodey made up his mind and headed to the phone to call Sam. "Hey, man…um…you don't need to cancel, ya know. I'll be okay. I'm a big boy." Jimmy looked back at Tony as his hand found the phone and huffed. "You really need to stop doing that." Tony snickered. "Doing what? Reading your mind? I'm just good like that, can't help it." He shook his head and laughed. "You sure, man? I mean, I can always reschedule for tomorrow." "Nope, you and me got tomorrow. Besides, I wanna here about the date when I come pick you up."

Rhodey scoffed at that and headed to the guest room he had an idea. "You are not hearing a thing about my date. That's my business."

"But I tell you about all of my dates," Tony protested, his voice echoing in the apartment. "And I don't leave a detail out."

"Unfortunately," James muttered. He found an empty box and headed to the bedroom where he kept his extensive c.d. collection. He filled the box with any c.d. he thought would pertain to the poster and brought it to Tony in the living room, who stood at the door with a slightly confused look on his face.

"Look. Tomorrow I'll tell you why I didn't want to give that poster up; you can listen to these tonight. Have fun."

Tony gave a salute and, taking the box, said goodnight and shut the door behind him.

Left in an empty apartment for another two hours, Jimmy turned to get ready for his date. On his way to his bedroom, he passed the guest room and stop at the door for a moment, before caving and going into the room. Turing on the light in the closet he dug around until he found the poster and unrolled it. In big block letters above four women in next to nothing was "2 Live Crew: As Nasty as They Wanna Be". He took a slightly shaky breath and smiled a little bitter sweetly, then re rolled the poster back up and tucked it safely in the back of the closet.

"Sooooo…."

"So?"

"How was the date?"

Jimmy and Tony were in Tony's Lamborghini speeding down the freeway at break neck speeds. "I told you I wasn't telling." "No," Tony said matter-of-factly. "You said you weren't giving details. I just wanna know if it was good or not."

Jimmy paused. "Yeah. It was fine."

"Which means it sucked. Right?"

Silence.

"Sorry man," Tony said and clapped him on the back. "It's ridiculous, really. If you got the I. Q. of a three year old, why even bother?" Tony shook his head and chuckled. "Because most guys don't give a shit about personality and intelligence and only want the ass. And Samantha's a nice piece of ass." "But she came off so…smart at the bar, Tones." "Most of 'em do. They practice that shit, man. How to seem like little Miss Vassar when they didn't make it to junior year in high school." The men fell into a contemplative silence then.

"I didn't make it to junior year in high school," Rhodey added as an after thought. "Only cause you graduated way early." Tony smiled his rare genuine smile and Rhodey found it hard not to smile back. Sometimes, Tony really could be a good friend. When he put his mind to it, that is.

"So anyway, I dug into the little music lesson you gave me and…"

Jimmy's ears perked up at the mention of the music he'd let Tony borrow. "And?"

"And I don't know where I was when that stuff came out but damn." That earned him a laugh from the other man. "Seriously, Rhodey, where the hell was I?" "Depending on which c.d. you listened to, you were either in Europe trying to kill yourself, or over your head in New York trying to be C.E.O."

"Oh," Tony said softly. "No wonder. And for the record, I was not trying to kill myself in Europe."

"Bullshit. You went through half the continent screwing anybody you could get your hands on and snorting anything that gave you a buzz."

Tony's hands clinched tightly around the steering wheel of the car as he narrowed his eyes behind dark designer shades. "I had a lot of shit goin' on then. You wouldn't even understand." "Maybe I didn't understand because you wouldn't tell me. You had people that really cared about you here, man and you spent two years trying to die. Jesus." Jimmy shuddered and rubbed his temples furiously, and let out a breath.

"Forget all that, Rhodey. It's ancient history now."

Jimmy nodded and leaned back in the leather seats of the sports car. God, he did not want the night to start like this.

"But you still have to tell me why you wouldn't give me that poster."

Closing his eyes, he sighed and tilted his head back against the headrest.

"Do you remember Greg Landon, my friend from back home?"

Tony raised an eyebrow in thought. "Uhhhh…"

"Short blond hair, glasses, built. He was like, seven feet tall or something. He had a laugh like Roger Rabbit."

Tony stalled and shook his head slowly. "Still not coming to me..."

"You met him at Mama's and he kicked your ass at Chinese Checkers."

"HA! Yeah, that goofball?"

Rhodey smiled. "Greg gave me that poster. It was a birthday present. He was so broke all he could afford was a three dollar Two Live Crew poster, but he made it better cause he threw me this bangin' ass party. 'Member when I called you back then, you were in Malibu while the mansion was being built?"

Tony nodded at the memory. "Yeah. There was noise like nobody's business in the background. I think I hear somebody yell about an orgy."

"That was my birthday party. Back in '94. He invited everybody he new and then some and we had one hell of a bash. Had the cops called on us and everything."

"Damn. I was so pissed I couldn't make it, Rhodey. I remember telling you I'd throw you a better one."

Jimmy, took a breath and stared down at his hands. "A few months later, I was on my way over to his place to hang out and his girlfriend, Tanya meets me at the door to his apartment crying." Tony didn't like the way this story was panning out. "He was in the hospital, had gotten into an accident on his bike and they didn't think he was gonna make it."

Tony held his breath and stared ahead at the road. After a long while, Rhodey finally spoke again.

"He didn't. He was brain dead and his body just shut down. They had his service at the pool hall we used to go to. Wasn't a dry eye in the house."

Tony groaned and pulled the car over to the curb of the club they were going to.

"I'm a jackass."

Rhodey chuckled lightly. "Yeah, you are. No need to apologize for that, though. At least you can admit it." "Yeah, well…if I'd have known…" "It's okay," he countered. "I never told you and you had no reason to ask so…"

"I found one on E-bay though, so you can keep yours."

Rhodey laughed and opened the door to the Lamborghini and pulled on his shades. "Framed and everything too, ain't it?" "Hells yeah. I'll put it right up in the game room, next to my Iron Maiden poster."

"Tony?"

"What?"

"You ain't right, man."

"I know." He grinned and turned to walk into the club. "That's why you love me."

Review if you love me. :)