"Red Tries The Ice Bucket Challenge"
Rated T
Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with That 70's Show or any of the characters. That 70's Show and the characters are owned by Carsey Werner Productions and 20th Century Fox. Anyway, here's T7S take on the famed ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Enjoy!
Somewhere around Forman's garage, Red Forman was sitting on a chair while his wife Kitty started filming. For some odd reason, Red decided he would explain it to the camera first-hand.
"Hi, I'm Red Forman, father of three, of course not counting the kettlehead and that damn foreign kid, and proud American." Red replied, "Today, I was 'nominated' by that crybaby Bob that I had to do this crappy little thing called the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. I mean, who in the hell wants to see someone getting ice water dumped on their head for no apparent reason? Is this how America is reduced to? A bunch of non-sensical jackasses turned into popsicles by getting water dumped on their heads? Are they on dope!?"
"Oh, c'mon Red, don't be a cranky cookie!" Kitty smirked, "It's just for charity! After this, you won't have to do it again!"
"Thank goodness for that." Red muttered under his jaw as he continued to talk. "Anyway, I'm supposed to 'nominate' three dumbasses to take this challenge, so I challenge my dumbass son, the stoner, and that smelly hippie who stank up my couch. Now that's said and done, let's get this over with."
After his speech was over, Red looked up to Kelso on top of the roof, who was holding an ice bucket in his hands.
"You ready, kettlehead?" Red scowled at him.
"Ready for duty, sir!" Kelso said, saluting him.
"Let's hope it's not a bathroom pun..." Red rolled his eyes.
As Red closed his eyes, hoping that a stream of ice water would hit his head...
...
...
...
...Kelso took the bucket and dropped it on top of Red Forman's head, knocking him out of his chair! The impact was so bad that Red had to hold the top of his head in excruciating pain. Luckily, the rest of this skull didn't crack, much to his wife's relief. Painfully, Red began looking up at Kelso again.
"AGGGH!" Red yelped in pain. "WHAT THE HELL, KELSO?"
"DON'T SHOUT AT ME, YOU ONLY SAID WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO!" Kelso pleaded, suggesting it was an accident.
However, the real surprise came when Red looked inside the bucket, finding out there wasn't any ice water at all! Red was steaming mad now, clenching the bucket tightly!
"YOU DIDN'T PUT ANY ICE WATER IN HERE?!" Red's teeth clenched out of anger.
"I'M SORRY, BUT YOU DIDN'T TELL ME TO PUT ANY ICE WATER IN THERE!" Kelso told him truthfully. "I THOUGHT THE WHOLE PURPOSE IS TO DUMP AN ICE BUCKET ON YOU, NOT DUMP WATER ON YOU!" But then, his tone softened up. "By the way, that's how my family does the ice bucket challenge."
"WELL, I'M ABOUT TO DUMP MY FOOT IN YOUR ASS!" Red shouted again. "COME HERE!"
Scared that an enraged Red was coming for him, Kelso started to retreat!
"MOMM-MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kelso screamed as Red began chasing him through the roof and around the driveway.
After they were gone on their little cat-and-mouse game, Kitty grabbed the bucket in disbelief.
"Well," Kitty sighed, "That was definitely retarded."
Heh, I imagine Kelso doing just that to Red. It's kinda funny that way. To Kelso, yeah. But to Red, not that much.
Anyway, feedbacks are welcome, my jive turkeys!