Lucky

The doctor was tired. Every single muscle in his body ached, and he consciousness was threatened every single time he closed his eyes to blink. He had been working non-stop fixing up the crew that had got injured in an accident down in engineering. Scotty tried to explain what happened but McCoy was too tired to try and decipher through Scotty's engineering terms and his thick Scottish accent. Instead, the doctor just grumbled and got to work. Now, all the patients in Medbay were resting and anything that they needed could be taken care of by the nurses.

McCoy decided to get some sleep, and so he started the long trek to his quarters.

McCoy didn't even bother changing or taking a shower, as soon as he got to his bed he plopped down on top of his covers, too tired to do much of anything. Space exploration was making the doctor weary, and he was beginning to worry if 5 years was too much for him. The more he thought about it the more scared he became. Was he going crazy being locked up in space? Was he going to be able to preform well as a doctor after 5 years? These thoughts haunted McCoy's mind as he slept and as a result his much needed sleep was not a peaceful slumber.

Beep beep beep beep

"Ugnhh," McCoy spoke as he fumbled to find his communicator that was going off. When he got his hand on it, he flipped it open and heard the strained voice of his best friend,

"Bones?"

The doctor was awakened by the shaking voice of Jim Kirk.

"Jim? Are you okay?"

The Starfleet captain took a shaky breath and what sounded like a sniffle,

"can you… can you come to my quarters bones?"

The doctor paused and looked at the digital clock on his nightstand that read 0330 hours. Why would the captain be up this early? And why did he sound scared? Just then, bones realized what was going on. He softened his rough Georgian voice and replied,

"Sure Jim I'll be right there, don't worry."

Bones heard another shaky breath from the captain right before the communication was ended. Bones quickly rubbed the grogginess out of his eyes and put on a Starfleet black long sleeve undershirt. He quietly began to walk to Jim's quarters and was sure to not wake any of the sleeping crew. The poor kid. The doctor thought, he must be having nightmares again about Tarus IV. Bones shuddered when he thought of the stories that Jim reluctantly had told him about Kodos and his ways of torture. No one should have gone through the things that Jim had to go through on that damn planet.

The doctor knocked on the door to Jim's quarters and he was buzzed in. The first thing Bones saw was Jim siting up strait on his bed and his knees curled up in his blanket. He was shaking and his forehead was shiny with sweat. His hair was clumped up on his forehead and his face was pale.

At first, McCoy decided to sit on the edge of kirks bed but once he looked again at Jim's shaken figure he decided to climb in the bed right next to his best friend.

"Hey Jim," The doctor said as he gave a soft smile to the shaking captain.

The captain's eyes watered and bones' smile was wiped of his face.

"I… I couldn't save them bones." Whispered the captain

A single tear fell from Jim's eye and traveled down his trembling cheek. The doctor couldn't stand to watch his best friend this broken, he wanted to be able to fix him like he's done on so many occasions but this wasn't a broken bone he was talking about.

"It's not your fault jim, you were only a kid."

The captains baby blue eyes looked up at McCoy. They glistened with fear.

"What if I end up the same way again bones? What if I end up not being able to save my ship bones. Not being able to save my crew." The captain's voice broke, "I can't do it again bones. I can't." Multiple tears streamed down kirk's face

The doctor's heart broke. Jim Kirk did not deserve this. He was the best man he had ever met, selfless, caring, kind. Jim kirk did not deserve any of this pain.

"Jim look at me," Spoke the doctor and the captain complied, his cheeks still trembling in fear.

"You are the best damn Captain this ship and this crew could ever ask for, and everyone knows it. You will never let this ship down and you will never let any member of this crew down." The doctor looked strait into those baby blue eyes, "Don't you ever even think for a second that this ship would be better off without you because that is a goddamn lie… And hell, we're all scared, I know that im scared, but what makes you who you are is that you will never let fear bring you down, in fact you act in spite of it Jim. This crew is so goddamned lucky to have you, and…" the doctor's voice broke, "and I'm so goddamed lucky to have you too."

A wet hot tear drifted down McCoy's cheek as he stood up to leave. McCoy turned around and looked back at his best friend.

Jim had a small smile on his face, a proud smile. A smile that people get when they realize that they are truly lucky.

When bones walked out of Jim's quarters he put on his stoic doctor face again. "Leave it to Jim kirk to make 2 grown men cry in the middle of the night like a goddamn slumber party." With that he heard a small laugh arise from the captain's quarters.