Crack fic, written because of a random AIM discussion between SpaceVikings and I

Rated T for language, fake violence, and a bit of gore

I don't own shit

Silent Night

Standing outside Bed Bathory and Beyond, Toki double checked his shopping list. After Dr. Rockso hocked all his gifts for drugs the rhythm guitarist had to return to the mall and re-purchase all his presents for his band mates and manager. The money wasn't the issue, it was finding all the gifts again a few days before Christmas, that was a bitch.

On his way out, his Gears in tow with the gifts, Toki happened to pass by an EB Games. Figuring he should get something for himself he ordered the others to wait and he went in. Browsing some of the newer games he saw a few that he liked. Left 4 Dead 2, Assassins Creed 2, Borderlands and more. All in new, shiny, never-been-opened packaging. Picking the three games off the shelf he made his way to the counter.

As he passed the used games section a pale greenish face and scratched font caught his eye. Glancing back at it he read the title aloud. "Silent Hill 2."

"I would grab that one if I were you." Said the clerk who noticed him browsing. "Someone just traded that one in, and I'll guarantee that it wont be on the shelf tomorrow."

"Whys dat?" Toki asked, picking the game up and reading the back.

"It's considered the most frightening video game ever made. I owned a copy a few years back and I wouldn't recommend playing it in the dark by yourself."

Toki snort laughed. "It cants be dat scaries."

The clerk shrugged. "Suit yourself, if you get freaked out easy..."

"I don't gets freaked out." Toki huffed defiantly, placing the game on the top of his pile.

HOURS LATER

Skwisgaar yawned as he made his way down to the common room. He couldn't sleep so he figured he would at least watch some late night television...or maybe some porn. Much to his chagrin, he found the massive television already in use.

Toki sat on the edge of the couch, his back to Skwisgaar in the pitch black room. On the screen was a woman running through a very foggy and silent town. Snow (or was it ash?) fell lightly from the gray sky. The only noise was her footsteps and the screaming static of a poorly tuned radio. In the distance a shadow moved in and out of vision, causing Toki to sit up a little bit straighter and hold his breath.

Smirking devilishly to himself, the blonde silently crept closer to the couch. This would be too easy.

~*~*~

What was that? Toki thought to himself as a shadowy figure malevolently hobbled in and out of focus amongst the ashy fog. Sucking furiously on a candy cane he gripped the PlayStation controller like it was his lifeline. The peppermint had been widdled down to a sharp point by his tongue a long while ago, but he couldn't seem to break his concentration long enough to just bite the tip off.

Armed with only a broken pipe his female avatar crept slowly around a corner, her radio screeching a warning that danger was all around her. At the exact moment a dark form descended on her, two large hands grabbed Toki's shoulders. As he jumped in surprise the controller hit the sharpened piece of candy dangling from his lips.

~*~*~

Toki's yelp of surprise was followed immediately by a sharp cry of pain. In the dim light Skwisgaar watched as Toki pulled the candy from his mouth and toss it across the room. "Whats de mater Little Toki? I scares you?" Rounding the couch it was Skwisgaars turn to be shocked as he saw blood flowing from the younger guitarists lips. Its dark sheen was all over his hands as he stuck a finger onto the roof of his mouth.

"Hat de huck Wisgaa!" He mumbled, before pulling his finger out. "You mades me fucking stabs myself!" Standing up he angrily shoved Skwisgaars bare chest with his bloodied hands, knocking him to the ground. Normally the Swede would have retaliated, but the blood spattered Norwegian looming over him gave him pause.

Blood still flowing from his mouth Toki turned and made his way to the bathroom to find the first aid kit.

Moments later he returned holding a face cloth to the candy-cane-thick hole in the roof of his mouth. When he found Skwisgaar occupying his spot on the couch, PlayStation controller in hand he made to complain, but finding it not worth the effort he simply resigned himself to sit next to the Swede in hopes that he would be able to frighten him later in return.

Glancing at his band mate he smirked to his silent victory that Skwisgaar hadn't noticed Toki's bloody hand prints all over his chest.

MANY MORE HOURS LATER

Pickles ambled his way down the dim hallways of Mordhaus in his underwear. It was nearly noon and he was overdue for his morning shot of Jameson. Passing by the common room he noticed Toki and Skwisgaar in front of the TV in the pitch black room.

In his bare feet Pickles walked up to the back of the couch and looked up at the ominous scene on the screen. A woman in bloodied clothes was creeping through a hallway where the walls seemed to be rusting...or bleeding as she moved. The on and off screech of a radio could be heard over a low thump of a heartbeat. Down the hallway tall, bloodied, triangle headed form made it way to the woman. Its massive, rusted weapon dragging the floor as it walked.

Raising her gun the woman shot at it repeatedly with little effect. The figure crept closer as the very walls seemed to swallow her whole.

Looking down Pickles asked. "Whatcha playin'?"

To say that the two guitarists shrieked would be an understatement. Overhead the various scream activated lights flickered in purples and reds giving the drummer a brief glimpse of the two blood smeared individuals now glaring angrily at him.

Eyes wide, the redhead opted to back away slowly. "Neeeever mind." He said as he exited the room.

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Yeah, it was a crack fic, but it needed to be written. Thanks again to SpaceVikings for the idea.

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