[This chapter has been partially rewritten and corrected in July 2012.]

Authoress' note from July 2012 revision: I've decided to rewrite this story in present tense (except the flashback) to convey the first person POV better. This story is written from Kuchiki Rukia's POV and after much deliberation, I guess I want my readers to feel as if they're Rukia, observing the story from her body and hearing her thoughts first-hand. I hope this will make your reading experience more enjoyable. I certainly prefer it this way.

Disclaimer: I offered to trade my kidney, my arm, my leg and all my heart for the ownership of Bleach but the court said it's not possible, not in a million years, because I'm a midget. Damn right.

Dedication: Ichigo and Rukia, this one's for you. Kubo-sensei, thank you so much for loving them.

Authoress' note: Frankly speaking, I have NO idea where I picked the strength to write this much from. Basically I'd been having this idea bugging me days and nights and I just had to get it out of my system. I do hope you will spare a few minutes reviewing this story, even if you stop reading in the middle (because perhaps it gets dull after a while to you). Any typo, grammar mistake, OOC-ness, cliché-ness and any other flaw belongs to me, so please hurl flames my way if you need to. With that said, I humbly thank all of you in advance!

The Constant is You

"Forget X and don't even bother about Z."

You asked me, "Y?"

I said, "Because the only constant in this equation is U."

I remember that a long time ago, Nii-sama once asked me a strange question. A question which often resurfaces out of the blue, even now, forcing me to think again and again just to realise that the answer is yet to be found. It is like a battle waiting to be decided. It is a grief curious to be discovered. I secretly dread the day Nii-sama asked me that question.

It was a cool summer day. Gentle wind was blowing outside and the sun was as bright as it could be in the summer sky. I was sitting in my room reading a novel when Nii-sama stepped in and settled himself in front of me.

"Rukia," he spoke slowly, in his typical noble manner. "I have a question for you."

I tensed up considerably. During my stay in the Kuchiki Manor, never even once Nii-sama asked me any question before this. I quickly fixed my seating position to the formal stance mirroring his and replied him, "Yes, Nii-sama. What is your question?"

I just hoped that he didn't detect the hint of nervousness in my voice.

He stared deep into my eyes before saying slowly and softly, "Rukia, say, when you're dying on your death bed…"

"…what will you do for the last time before you part with your life?"

The sound of blades clashing at each other fills the air thickly, deafening the warriors who are viciously fighting for what they deem right. No matter what kind of crap those theorist say, people don't go to war just like that; when people fight against each other, they are defending something. And this time, in this battle, some of us fight for our lives. Some others fight to defend the side to which they've sworn allegiance. Some fight to defend our pride and honours.

One thing remains, though: most of us fight to die.

So here I am, in the middle of fight against the soldiers of Hueco Mondo. I gasp for breath and immediately inhaled the stale air filled with dust and death. I've suffered some injuries, but I won't give up here and now. Though I can't even glare at the exequias in front of me without wincing any more, I try my best not to project my fear outwards. Fear is only a state of mind. I wiped the blood covering my eyes and maintained my defensive stance, preparing for another attack. I can feel my grip on Sode no Shirayuki tightening as I look around warily.

Nearby, I can feel several reiatsu flaring; one of them is unmistakably Ichigo's. Yet again, fear tugs at my heart, for I know that he has been fighting non-stop since the very beginning until now; if a major attack hits him, it will either injure him fatally or kill him. My heart clenches at the last thought.

Shunning away my negative thoughts, I decide to get my focus back to my own fight. If there is something I can do, it's defending myself well so that Ichigo won't have to come to my rescue and protect me, once again. I know that idiot too well—he won't even have a moment of hesitation to shove everything else aside if it's to protect the friends he cares so deeply for.

Friends.

Even until the very end, I still don't know what I actually am to him. True, people have been spreading rumours that there is actually something going on between us, but as far as I know, the only special thing we share is the fact that I turned his world upside down, to the down side, mind you, thus exposing him to dangers he shouldn't have had to meddle with had he not encountered me on that fateful night.

Apart from that, there isn't any other special thing between us. None. Zilch. Nada.

Inoue's face haunts my mind almost immediately. I've grown to like her—she is pretty, she is feminine, adorable, the type of girl most guys would die to protect. Compared to her, I am nothing. I am neither pretty nor adorable, and the word feminine doesn't even exist in my dictionary.

"Some no mai, tsuki shiro!" I command, swinging my pristine white blade at the exequias. Immediately, a frozen pillar reaching to the sky appears and immobilises the exequias in front of me. When the ice breaks into several million pieces, I can safely tell that I was successful. That was the last one of my throng of adversaries. Sighing in relief that I've finished with my own task, I rush towards the centre of the battlefield to assist my friends.

A thousand fleeting thoughts pass through my mind. It's the very end—how if it's too late for me to tell Ichigo what he actually means to me? All this time, I've had a million chances to be honest to my feelings and yet I've always been too cowardice to break through my comfort zone.

Truthfully, what I'm so afraid of is that I will break the bond between us. I can't stand the thought of losing him forever.

In the end…I'm not quite a warrior at heart, am I?

I don't really know when it all started, honestly. All I know is that on one fine day, I woke up in my closet, ready to start a normal day in the human world. I had dressed up in the white-and-grey uniform of Karakura High School and was ready to get my breakfast before school.

As I stepped out of the closet, careful not to send my short skirt flying, I saw that Ichigo was still sleeping on his bed. I frowned to myself; it wasn't usual for Ichigo to skip school. I thought he might have just overslept, so I shook his body in an attempt to wake him up.

"Ichigo! Wake up!" I grabbed a hold of his shoulder and started shaking him. "Hey! It's getting late, Ichigo. Don't you have to go to school today?"

He stirred in his sleep and mumbled something, but I couldn't hear it. Dissatisfied that I was unsuccessful in waking him up, I started to poke his ribs and yell things in his ear. Finally, he decided that it was impossible for him to stay in whatever la-la-land he was in.

He opened his eyes groggily, having had his slumber rudely perturbed by my constant yapping. Then he muttered in anger, "What the hell is your problem, midget?"

"School, you idiot! School!" I retaliated, slightly annoyed that my good deed of waking him up so that he wouldn't be late to school was paid back by 'What the hell is your problem, midget?'. If there was someone who should say that, it was me, not him! That's my line, strawberry!

"Huh?" he replied incredulously, now sitting on his bed. I could see his naked torso as the blanket slipped off his body. "What are you talking about? Today is a holiday, you moron!"

"What?" I screeched, unbelieving what he had just said. "Holiday? But it's a Monday!"

"Rukia…" Ichigo gave me a dirty glare before smacking his forehead in exasperation. "Can't a Monday be a holiday? You tell me!"

"Who said it's a holiday?" I retorted hotly, too stubborn to accept the fact just like that. To be honest, I refused to accept the fact that I woke up early and dressed up in my school uniform neatly just to find out that there was no school on that day.

"The teacher, you dork!" Ichigo sighed, closing his eyes. Rubbing the back of his head, he continued, "Seriously, did you even pay attention in class? Or maybe, you're too busy doodling and snoozing during lessons, eh, Kuchiki-dono?"

I gritted my teeth in annoyance before giving him the look that would've curdled milk. He seemed to have caught the evil vibes I was sending him and smirked, knowing that it would douse my wounds in salt water.

"Go back to sleep, bunny-head," he told me nonchalantly. He flopped back onto his bed and buried himself underneath the blanket. "It's still too early to create a ruckus, and if you're really itching to find someone to yell at…you can always target Kon as your victim. He's putty in your hand."

Bunny-head. Oh, what the hell.

I stared at his sleeping form; he was wrapped up neatly in his blanket like sakuramochi. For a few minutes, I just stood there, too agitated to even do anything.

"Rukia." His sleepy voice jerked me out of my reverie. "Just…how long are you planning to stand there like a statue? I hope you're not ogling me." There was a teasing tone in his voice. I blushed furiously.

Deciding that I should accept reality that it was really a school holiday, I huffed and climbed back into the closet to change the uniform into my everyday dress. "Damn," I muttered as I unbuttoned the school shirt. "It's not my fault that I keep snoozing at school…I'm not the one who lies on his bed unmoving, causing worry to someone as he gets his wounds healed…"

I was removing my skirt when I heard the closet door rattle noisily. Acting on impulse, I yelped before grabbing my blanket to cover my scantily clad body. A sigh could be heard from the other side of the door.

"Ichigo?" I asked, still holding the blanket closely against my nearly naked body. "What do you want?"

"Yuzu just went in and told me that breakfast is ready." I could imagine him standing there, shouting at the closet door with one hand on his hips and the other rubbing the back of his neck. "Come out quickly and eat before it gets cold."

I didn't give him any reply. Not long afterwards, he added, "Seriously, what's wrong with you people…didn't anyone teach you guys that waking up early on a holiday is a crime?"

Soon enough I heard a click from the other side of the room, indicating that Ichigo had just gone out of the bedroom—to the bathroom, perhaps. Letting out a sigh of relief now that the idiot was nowhere nearby, I dressed myself properly before heading towards the dining room.

"Rukia-chan!" Yuzu greeted me with a warm smile and I could feel myself smiling back at the cheerful girl. Yuzu's excitement is always contagious. She presented me with a plate filled with French toasts, bacons and eggs. "I fried some bacon and eggs for you today, so please enjoy your meal, OK?"

I beamed at her and thanked her for the meal. I was chewing on my first bite of toast when Ichigo entered the dining room in his T-shirt and shorts. He took a seat right in front of me, and reached for an empty plate. Yuzu cooked an incredible amount of food that I could only stare as Ichigo overflowed his plate with toasts, bacon and eggs.

"What?" Ichigo snapped at me when he saw that I wasn't eating much of my breakfast; instead, I was staring at him like an idiot. "Just eat, Rukia. I won't steal your bacon if that's what you're afraid of."

I blushed furiously before snapping back, "Who's afraid of you stealing my grub?"

"Well, you do look like a mother dragon guarding her treasure jealously," Ichigo said, raising his eyebrows. "Or…don't tell me you're still on that I-don't-have-any-appetite state."

I turned to look away. I couldn't bring myself to look at Ichigo's eyes. It was true; I had been skipping meals lately. I didn't even know the reason why, I just didn't feel like eating.

"You need to eat, Rukia." Ichigo sighed wearily. He settled his plate on the table before offering his advice, "Look, I don't know what those girls at school told you but obviously, you don't need to go on diet. You're thin enough to pass between two pieces of bread, for goodness' sake."

I looked at my plate, on which there were two whole pieces of untouched French toast, three slivers of bacon and a heap of scrambled egg. "It's not that," I murmured in defeat.

"Is that so? Then, I don't see any good reason why you shouldn't be shovelling grubs into your pie hole." Ichigo reached for his fork and waved it in front of me mockingly. "Or…don't tell me you need me to spoonfeed you?"

Begrudgingly, I stabbed a piece of bacon and stuffed it into my mouth. Ichigo laughed light-heartedly at what must have been a comical sight. I shot daggers at him.

"Atta, girl." Flashing a grin at my crumpled face, he reached out to ruffle my hair before he, too, tucked into his breakfast.

I quickly ducked and started eating at an even faster rate to hide the blush which was creeping up my face. Why? How can something like this happen? Since when having his fingers ruffle my hair for a split second causes my stomach to twist and knot?

"Oi, Rukia." I snapped my head up at him and was instantaneously met with an incredulous look. "You have to eat, but you don't have to eat that fast. Like I said, I have no intention whatsoever to steal your food."

Ichigo, you dork.

Since that fateful day, I've been noticing Ichigo a little bit more than usual, to a level that it isn't so comforting anymore for me.

At school, I watched him smile and laugh with his friends. At home, I watched him bicker with his father and play with his sisters. Anywhere else, which usually involved us chasing hollows around town, I watched him fight from the side line because he told me to stay still as he finished his business. I'd retorted at him, telling him that I was perfectly capable of defending myself against mere hollows, thank you very much, but he told me to shut up and watch.

I felt so powerless.

The worst thing was I couldn't share this with anyone else. Renji? He's one of my best friends, yes, and he did once tell me I can always talk to him whenever I want to, but I honestly don't believe that discussing romantic matters is included in the package. How about Nii-sama, then? Quite obviously, I crossed him out of the list; handling general conversation with him is hard enough, let alone asking his advices for something as sensitive and volatile as romance. That would have been terribly awkward.

Inoue was also not an option, because I know that she also feels the same way towards Ichigo. I really don't want to tear our friendship apart just because of a trivial matter like this. I know neither Chad nor Ishida well enough to feel comfortable talking about my private problems with them.

So in the end, I just kept ignoring it. But eventually, no matter what I did, came the day when I couldn't disregard my feelings for Ichigo anymore as the stupid emotions haunted me practically all the time. He was in my head when I first opened my eyes in the morning; he was also there when I went to bed. When I ate my breakfast, I thought of how he likes his sunny side egg runny and wet. When I did my homework, I thought of how he sometimes writes from left to right, something he explained as a mere side effect of reading Shakespeare's novels too much. When I fluffed my pillow up, I thought of how he likes to punch his pillow instead of gently tapping it like how I usually did.

Simply put, my obsession over Ichigo had escalated to the point that I couldn't even think straight anymore.

I had to get it off my chest, so I decided to pick someone to talk to.

Before I knew it, I was in front of the door of Urahara Shoppe.

The black cat wagged her tail as she listened to me bleeding my heart out.

"So, Kuchiki." Her yellow eyes bored deep into mine as she spoke. "You're saying that you've finally fallen for that filthy brat?"

I restrained myself from laughing. When did Yoruichi-dono and Nii-sama start to share the same dictionary? I nodded and pulled a small smile before saying timorously, "Yes."

"Couldn't say that I didn't see that coming." She smirked, flashing her feline teeth. I could feel, rather than see, my face turning crimson at the remark.

"Yoruichi-dono!" I yelped. I quickly buried my face inside my hands to hide the horrible blush.

She laughed a rich, deep laugh. "Oh well." She smiled at me, now resting her tail around her body. "Que sera, sera."

"Look," she offered kindly, "there isn't anything wrong with you, I can assure you that. I can honestly see why a healthy female falls for him."

"Excuse me…?" I frowned at her sentence. Yoruichi-dono stared at me understandingly and continued, "He's kind. He's strong. He loves his family and friends, and would never hesitate to protect them whenever they need him."

"For short, he's a definition of good guy at heart. True, he's stubborn, hotheaded and he can be a pain in the arse sometimes, but I think that makes him who he is. Am I correct, Kuchiki?" she finished, poking my arm using her fluffy paw. It tickled.

I smiled inwardly. "I guess you're right."

"So, how are you going to tell him?"

I immediately averted my gaze somewhere else the moment this question entered the conversation. "No…" I murmured silently; my voice was barely above a whisper. "I…I don't plan to tell him, at least not now…he has enough trouble in his hands to handle."

There was a thick silence hanging in the air following my statement. Yoruichi-dono sighed loudly, breaking the pregnant pause. "Seriously," she growled. "You and lil' Byakuya are just too much alike."

Now that's new.

"Anyway, if you think that's the best option, then so be it. I have no right to force you to do something you don't want to. Now listen to me, Kuchiki."

I blinked, dumbfounded. There was something in her tone that made me stare at her catatonically, waiting with baited breath for the words she was about to say.

"I tell you what, sometimes it's even best not to say anything," she whispered. "Because really, there isn't any need to state the obvious."

"Tsugi no mai, hakuren!"

The exequias who was bullying Ishida lets out an ear-splitting screech as I freeze its ghoulish mask. Ishida then quickly fires an arrow to finish the beast.

"Thank you, Kuchiki-san!" he shouts in relief. I flash him a thumbs-up in return.

From the tail of my eyes I can see Ichigo in his dilapidated shihakusho, moving as swiftly as a lightning while attacking the seemingly endless waves of exequias. I can't help but wonder how many of them are there actually.

My senses quickly tell me that it's not the right time to daydream so I quickly get back into the fight; I jump at the adversaries bravely, slicing, cutting and swinging my way to victory.

That surge of confidence is short-lived, however.

"Santen Kesshun! I reject!" With the words spoken, I feel Inoue's reiatsu climb up to a significantly higher level. She's not supposed to be fighting. Why…?

I swiftly dodge an attack to rush to her rescue. As I prepare myself to give whoever dared to lay a finger on her a piece of my mind, I catch a glimpse of Ishida running towards Inoue at full speed. Apparently, the idea to protect Inoue isn't only mine.

At that very moment, an epiphany strikes me right on the forehead. I smile at the familiar feeling.

We're all rowing the same boat, aren't we?

Immediately, I halt myself halfway. It's probably best to leave Inoue's protection in Ishida's hand. After all, a heart's desire is stronger than steel, isn't it? I believe that.

A blinding light covers the sky with what appears to be a thousand quincy arrows Ishida has just fired at the exequias attacking Inoue. I let a subtle smile grace my lips—strange things do happen when you least expect it. And love is a strange thing. Do the substitution and you'll understand.

After making sure that Ishida and Inoue are just peachy, I immediately think of Ichigo. The object of my affection is currently still fighting like a madman, swinging his sword recklessly at the troops of Hueco Mondo. There's sheer exuberance exuding from his body, and when I scrutinise his face, his eyes reflect back a primal, raw emotion: the love to fight.

Typical Ichigo, all right.

I shake my head twice to clear my increasingly hazy mind. Blood trickles down from my head wounds, covering my vision once again. I wipe off the hot and sticky liquid using the sleeves of my shihakusho. The white linings immediately turn crimson from the blood but I can't care less.

The battlefield becomes dustier and hotter; I can tell that much. Clouds of sand dance amidst the fighters, choking lungs and blurring away visions. I make a move to swing my blade at more exequias, hoping to make a significant drop in their population.

My tired mind starts to become less and less limpid as the battle progresses. I can feel shooting pangs of pain originating from my wounds very clearly now, and I secretly hope that those injuries don't worsen. As it turns out, I'm obviously mistaken. From the rate blood is oozing out from my wounds, they should be either torn open or infected. Or maybe both.

Nevertheless, I try my best to ignore the injuries. This really isn't the time to fret over my own wounds; it will have a place much later after the battle ends…if there's actually an end to this battle. I'm not sure if I'm hallucinating or what, but this does feel like eternity.

Even a fool like me can no longer ignore the dizziness which is pounding in my head. It feels as if someone's prying my skull open with a crowbar.

I don't know how much strength I have left in me. I've been fighting for a while now and with the growing number of enemies killed, it seems that my wounds have worsened as well.

Groggily and shakily maintaining my battle stance, I stare far towards the horizon and see some blurry images moving against the painterly background. The lines seem to shake as if there's an earthquake occurring, and the colours seem to have melted together, forming a pool of a thousand different shades. My head is heavy and extremely painful. My grip on my sword starts to loosen, no matter how hard I try to cling onto it.

In battles and fights, it is common sense to quickly eliminate the weak first before challenging the stronger ones. This, I believe, is also the battle mentality of those darned exequias, because not long after I wobble, a group of them surrounds me. Their eyes shimmer with raw intention to kill.

Quickly and desperately I raise my zanpakutou and swing it down as wildly as possible. The reckless move successfully eliminates all the beasts but one. The survivor quickly dodges my next attacks, and in return assaults me with its bony claws.

In a flash, the world crumbles down before my eyes the moment that exequias wounds me. Warmth bubbles up my throat and my ribs feel as if they are poked with fire. I quickly identify the location where the injury had been inflicted—my lungs. Panicked and breathless, I gasp wildly for air but cough up blood instead.

Metallic, coppery flavour inescapably stings my tongue, all thanks to the the blood I coughed up earlier. The mixture of blood and saliva dribbles down my lips and chin, and I run the back of my hand against my mouth to clear the offensive liquid. I muster whatever little strength I have to deliver a killing blow at the exequias' head. That hits home and the exequias screams as demise approaches.

I struggle to get some air into my wounded lungs, but I feel only pain in every breath I take. Panic is an understatement. The pain searing through my body is too much. My body is more than ready to call it quit.

What happens next is like what you can see in the movie: the sky turns upside down slowly, the sight of my friends becomes increasingly blurry as my eyelids droop against my own will and my legs…my legs give in and I can feel my body tumbling down…more like flying, actually.

I hit the ground with a soft thud, giving the beige sand beneath me a new coat of red. Too much blood. I'm losing too much blood…

Before it's lights out for me, I can faintly hear someone calling my name.

"Rukia!"

I have no idea of how long I lied there unconscious. When I finally regain my senses, I'm no longer lying on the sand; instead, I'm leaning against something warm and much cosier than the rock-hard sand dunes.

Analysing the surrounding, I quickly note that only cadavers of the exequias litter the ground. Not even one of the enemies is alive; not anymore. Groaning from the throbbing pain in my lungs, I involuntarily cough up blood again.

"Rukia!" A voice pulls me back to reality, and I look up at the source of that voice. I turn over uncomfortably and find out that the one who's cradling my worn out body is none other than Ichigo. There's blood covering his body and a deep bloody gash tarnished his chiselled face, but he's alive.

"Ichigo…" I mutter softly, forcing myself to smile at him. "Hey, you're all battered up, man," I added to lighten up the sombre mood a little.

"You idiot." He doesn't look impressed at all by my fake cheerfulness. I give him a frown that mirrors his.

"Don't tell me you think you're responsible for my injuries—again," I remind him coldly, staring deep into his eyes. "I'm fine, Ichigo. I've had worse."

"Don't talk too much, you moron," Ichigo orders worriedly. Even though his words are unkind, I can tell from his trembling voice that he's deathly afraid for me. "Renji is calling Unohana-san over now, so hang in there, Rukia."

I give him a tiny nod. Scanning the battlefield once again, I catch sight of Inoue and Ishida nearby. Inoue's healing Ishida using her Souten Kisshun. Blood pools around where Ishida is lying down, so I assume that he, too, suffers terrible amount of injuries. Chad sits on the sand a little further away; he looks exhausted and there's dirt all over his body but apart from that, he's all right. He doesn't even look half as scathed as most of us do.

One minute…two minutes…before I know it, times flows by so quickly, as words remain unspoken. Inoue is still busy healing Ishida, a task which proves to be draining and hard—maybe because of the amount of injuries he suffers from. I try to make myself comfortable in Ichigo's hold, even though I feel slightly like a goldfish left in open air for too long.

"Hang in there, bunny-head," Ichigo whispers softly to me. I raise my eyebrow incredulously at him.

It sure has been a while since he last called me bunny-head.

"You really should be worrying about yourself, carrot top." I smirk at him, despite my injuries. He scoffs at my witty remark but doesn't retaliate any more. Maybe he knows that if he retorts to my earlier reply, this casual conversation will soon enough turn into a full-blown bickering like usual.

"What happened to the Exequias?" I can't help but ask.

"All dead. We kicked their puny arses," he said, glancing at the bloodied cadavers on the ground. A hint of pride colours his voice.

A mental image of him kicking the exequias' arses before slicing open their skull made me giggle. Ichigo laughed a little as well.

"Nicely done, strawberry."

He throws a lopsided grin at me. "Now stop giggling or I'll tickle you until you're breathless," he teases.

"It's not that I'm not breathless to begin with," I quip, much to his annoyance. When I see his expression changes from mirthful to worried, I quickly realise my mistake and hurriedly add, "Only slightly breathless."

He snorts a little. "Then, I'll poke at that bunny head of yours until you're knocked out and unable to giggle anymore."

Pretending that the remark is insulting to me, I shoot a glare at him and open my mouth to retort, only to be silenced by his finger on my lips.

"No wiggly moves," he commands seriously before turning his eyes away towards the endless horizon of Las Noches. I wonder whether he knows that the moment he touched my lips, all the words that were dancing at the tip of my tongue evaporated into the thin air, only to be replaced by a bittersweet taste.

Trust Aizen to ruin even the most remote tranquillity in an instant.

I was daydreaming when a sharp increase in someone's reiatsu pierced my senses, like a blade pricking open a body. I immediately tense up.

"What happened?" Ichigo looks around wildly. Apparently I'm not the only one who senses it.

"He's here, Kurosaki!" Ishida suddenly bolts right up from where he was lying down a second ago.

"Who?"

"Are you demented? It's Aizen, Aizen Sousuke!"

I reach out for my zanpakutou, clutching on the hilt as if my life depends on it. The tiny fraction of my heart tells me that this will be the real showdown. I just know it somehow. Perhaps, that is what people call 'woman intuition'. Or maybe it's just my good old gut feeling.

"Long time no see, Shinigami." Aizen stands before us devilishly, a quirk on his lips. "Are you ready to die now?"

The raw emotions written all over Ichigo's face can only mean a thing to me: fury.

Aizen walks slowly towards us, eerily calm and composed as he eyes me with his serpent-like glare. I feel terribly queasy under that gaze yet I can't take my eyes off of those heart-wrenching orbs.

I subconsciously clutch on Ichigo's bloodied robe, seeking a little solace from the intense pressure. He holds me closer to him in response.

"In battles, it's normal to eliminate the weakest first, isn't it?" His cold voice holds a mocking tone in it. I gasp silently. Ichigo's jaw tightens.

"Who is weakest out of all of you here?"

I know it. I've known even before he said anything because he has been eyeing me like a predator eyeing its prey. However, before he manages to do anything else, Ichigo shunpo away while carrying me in his arms.

"I see." Aizen's expression doesn't even change at the slightest as he unsheathes his sword.

"Shall I start the killing now?"

What happened next is like a fragment of my wildest dream. No, not dream…nightmare is more like it. Like watching a thunderstorm behind a closed window, you don't know much about what happens outside when the storm rages on, yet afterwards, you'll be able to see the bloodied aftermath.

A blindingly bright light fills the battlefield along with a series of mini explosions, and the next thing I know, Aizen is bound on the ground by an unseen force, his legs flailing and his eyes are no longer serpent-like; rather, they resemble those of a hollow.

The dust clears up and what happened a moment ago suddenly becomes crystal clear to us.

Shinigami fall one by one from the sky like hail, their shihakusho flowing gracefully in the air. I can only gape at the sight of my comrades.

"Ichigo!" Renji makes haste towards us. Unohana-taichou is hot on his heels.

Ichigo growl at him irately, "You're late, idiot! What the hell were you doing?"

At that very moment, Aizen begins to exude a murderous aura which causes everyone to take cover. I can feel my head splitting apart and my heart thumping loudly from the sudden increase of reiatsu. Ichigo scowls deeper if that's even possible, and Renji's shielding himself with his arms.

"We don't have time, my dear comrades." A voice rings through the commotion as clearly as a whistle. "There's only one thing available to us now, and it's either we take it or leave it."

Without a pause, Yoruichi-dono picks the conversation from where Urahara stopped and continues, "We have to use the power of Souten Kisshun to revert back the world."

Instantaneously, the cat woman and the former twelfth division captain become the objects of scrutiny. The surrounding area is surprisingly silent, unlike before. Aizen's snarl is the only thing filling the uncomfortable silence.

"W…what do you…mean?" Renji stutters. From the look of it, it seems that the idea doesn't even register in his mind. I can't blame him. It's just too surreal to be true.

"Abarai-san, you do know about the power of Souten Kisshun, don't you?"

"Y…yes."

"This space, this world…" Urahara paused to heave a deep breath before continuing, "It can be reverted back to the past, to way before these all happen."

"D…don't tell me…" This time, it's Hitsugaya's turn to talk. I fidget slightly to take a better look of him. I feel my eyes tearing up. He's covered in blood and if my eyes aren't mistaken, the ice wings of his bankai are almost completely shattered.

Still, his bankai is a truly magnificent sight. It is comparable to a rose—even when it's dying it still looks beautiful all the same.

"If we channel our reiatsu to Inoue-san and let her turn this world back to the time before Aizen was even born using her Souten Kisshun, we can put a halt to this endless and meaningless battle," Urahara finished solemnly. His gaze casts downwards, just like what he usually does whenever he has finished talking about an important matter.

"But Aizen is immobilised right now! We could just finish him and return to Soul Society!" Renji barks fiercely. The idea is still too wild for him to accept, seemingly.

"That's the true problem, Abarai-san. I found out that Aizen has planted the Hougyoku inside his body and long story short, if we were to kill him, we would be killed as well. Nobody would be spared."

"But…what will happen to us if we use Souten Kisshun to revert back the world?" Matsumoto questions, her voice is wavering.

"That's a good question, Matsumoto-fukutaichou." This time, it's Yoruichi-dono's turn to enlighten the bunch of clueless shinigami. "All of us will be also reverted back to whatever state we were in at that time, be it a young child, an adolescence…or even nothing."

"N…nothing?" Hitsugaya's eyes widen in disbelief.

"It's not funny, Yoruichi-san."

It's Ichigo. His hands around me tighten, as if he's trying to protect me from the ugly truth, and it is clear that his voice is trembling.

"Nothing? You mean, some of us will perish?"

"That's true, Ichigo."

"Then how about Inoue herself? I'm pretty sure she wasn't around as well at the time before Aizen was born."

"She will perish as well, along with some of us."

"What the hell do you mean by that?" Ichigo's voice increases by a notch. His grip on my arms tightens to the point that it's actually hurting me.

"Ichigo!" I warn him immediately. The last thing we all want is for Ichigo to go berserk at this very moment. He stares deep into my pleading eyes and grits his teeth, knowing that he really should shut up.

"There's no other way, Ichigo," Yoruichi-dono reprimands softly. "If we don't do that now, all of us will eventually perish anyway. This…is a losing fight."

My heart sinks. There's too much truth in Yoruichi-dono's words. We all have, at one point or another, realised that it's a losing fight. Or more accurately, a lose-lose fight. Nothing good can be gained from this battle; only destruction, devastation and broken memories.

Curse Aizen and his twisted mind.

"On top of those that have been said," Urahara picks the conversation again after his long pause, "our memories will also be erased. Those who survive will not have any memory about this battle, and those who perish…well, you basically just perish. Into thin air."

Into thin air.

It feels much like a heavy load has just been dropped on my chest.

I clutch at Ichigo's robes and hoist myself up slightly to face my shinigami comrades. Ichigo helps me by shifting my body so that now I'm leaning against his chest.

"Our memories…will also be erased?"

I have no memories of my parents. I have no memories of my sister. What I can remember is that all my life, I have always been alone. Until I become a shinigami.

Whatever memories I have now have been solely weaved by the people around me. My shinigami friends…my real life friends…Inoue…Renji…Nii-sama…

Ichigo.

Losing everything else won't matter to me. Even when I was still roaming the streets of Rukongai, having my precious little treasures stolen from me was so common it was almost like breathing. Even when I lost my close friends, I could let it pass quite easily after some time.

But losing my memories?

Kami-sama, please tell me that this is just another nightmare.

Everyone stares at me. I feel so small under those stares, but unlike the time when Aizen stared at me earlier, right now I don't feel afraid.

"There is nothing else we can do."

The words cut deep into my heart. Perish. I will perish. Dead. Disappear. Zero. Zilch. On top of that, I will lose my memories as well.

A droplet of frustration and powerlessness trickles down my cheek. No. This has to be a bad joke. This…cannot be happening.

I scan the faces of my comrades carefully. It seems that they have unanimously agreed to look tough, but the sadness pooling in every eye I see is overflowing anyway.

"I see," Yamamoto-soutaichou speaks up sternly. We turn to look at him, waiting for the instruction from his mouth.

"Urahara Kisuke, I shall bestow you the right to carry out the operation."

As soon as Yamamoto-soutaichou finished talking, the binding spell which holds Aizen down starts to break followed by a roar as menacing as thunder blaring in the sky. Urahara closes his eyes painfully.

"Everyone, if you need to say goodbye, do it now. Inoue-san, follow me. All captains, after you finish your business please follow me as well."

That seems to be all we need before everyone rushes to different directions to bid their comrades, their friends, their families goodbye; to give a last hug to someone they care about so deeply before all memories of them are erased forever like footprints eroded by the sun and the wind.

From the tail of my eyes, I can see people doing the most unbelievable things. Yachiru is wailing in her Ken-chan's cradle, burying her pink head against his chest. I swear I can even see Kenpachi shedding a tear or two as he soothes his little girl to the best of his abilities—a sight I never thought I'd see.

"Ken-chan!" I can faintly hear her ear-splitting sob. "Ken-chan! You can't leave me, you big idiot! Who will give me candies? Who will save me when Baldy wants to punish me? Who will play Slice-a-Hollow with me? Who will hug me when I want a hug?"

The wishes of a child are the most heart-breaking of all, really.

Kiyone and Sentarou…they are kneeling beside Ukitake-taichou and it seems that both of them are crying their heart out as well, begging him not to go. Kiyone is bawling like a baby and Sentarou, being the competitive rival of Kiyone that he is, is also sniffling sadly beside our beloved captain.

It breaks my heart to think that it will be the last time I can tell people that I'm from 13th Division, under the guidance of Ukitake-taichou. It pains me to think that in the future, perhaps I won't even be another stranger in the street for him, let alone being his subordinate.

However, what almost gives me a heart attack is the sight of Ikkaku and Yumichika.

I have to rub my eyes five times before I believe that it's not a mere illusion. My jaw drops as I spot them hugging each other; Yumichika crying like a baby and patting Ikkaku's head whilst Ikkaku hangs onto his partner in crime tightly, his tears fall in silent pain.

That would have caused me to laugh until my stomach hurts if this hasn't been a goodbye.

Still, I poke Ichigo's arm and cock my head at the two shinigami. It catches his attention and he lets out a small laugh when he sees what the two are doing.

"Boy, love really knows not its own depth until the hour of separation," he commented, an impish grin on his face.

A moment later, I can feel Nii-sama kneeling beside my wasted body, his hands cupping my dainty, limp palm. I turn to look at him and tear up immediately. He's so beaten up that even his haori, which is covered with blood, looks as if it's crimson-coloured to begin with. He looks straight into my eyes and mutters, "I'm sorry, Rukia."

Closing his eyes, he then continues, "For years you have been my sister, I haven't done a single thing commendable enough to be mentioned."

I shake my head vigorously, not believing that Nii-sama actually said that. "You are you, Nii-sama." My voice trembles as I add hastily, "You've done something to me, which is being you. If you haven't been around, I won't be who I am today…I can tell you that by being you, you've done something which is much more worthy than everything else in the world."

"I see." Nii-sama closes his eyes understandingly before standing up to leave. "I have to go."

He walks away, his haori flowing lightly in the wind.

I'll miss him so much. Who in the future will protect me from all kinds of disaster when everyone else fails? Who in the future will knock some sense into my head when it seems that no one else can? Who, in the future, will be my Nii-sama?

Renji sits beside me Indian-style. I smile at him, relieved that he hasn't forgotten about me yet. For a few moments, the three of us—Renji, Ichigo and I—only sit there in silence. Words remain unspoken.

"Rukia," Renji finally said. "Thank you."

I give him a little nod.

"Be good." He grins and reaches out to ruffle my hair. Renji's ruffle gives me a completely different feeling compared to Ichigo's. While Ichigo's ruffles always cause my heart to start palpitating abnormally, Renji's ruffle feels like that of a brother who cares about his little sister so much.

"That's all?" Ichigo raises an eyebrow as he watches Renji walking away from us. He doesn't know that everything needed to be said have been spoken silently between us. Renji has understood even before I said a word. I have understood his intentions even though he only told me two lonely words.

I look up at Ichigo and grin wickedly. "Yes, that's all."

Amber meets violet.

That's the most intense gaze I've ever seen. It makes me go dizzy again, in a rather pleasant way. Ichigo opens his mouth to speak but stops abruptly when he sees someone walking towards this direction.

Inoue's slowly walking towards Ichigo and me. Unsurprisingly, I feel a little nauseous as a bad mental image pops in my mind. Is this what I think it is?

The auburn-haired girl kneels before us and smiles. I really want to look away, but I can't, so I return the gesture amicably even though my heart pounds against my chest in anticipation of the words from her mouth.

"Kurosaki-kun," she starts, looking at the ground uncomfortably. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me, Inoue," Ichigo replies nonchalantly in a soft, tender voice. I can see Inoue nodding hastily. She takes a long, good look at the man her heart adores.

My heart feels like it's going to burst. Spare the details, please. Or bring the coup de grace faster so that I don't have to suffer.

"Kuchiki-san." My eyes widen involuntarily when she calls my name. This isn't like how I had imagined it would be. In my imagination, Inoue would be confessing her undying love to Ichigo and in return Ichigo would hold her tight and tell her he loves her as well, and I might as well be dead before they even start reverting back this world. However, my guardian angel or whoever it is had protected me from dealing with the mortifying experience, it seems.

"Yes, Inoue?"

"Kuchiki-san…please take care of Kurosaki-kun."

"Y…yes." It's the only thing I manage to say when I hear the overused, yet still feels freshly poignant, phrase from her lips.

"I have the utmost pleasure having you both as friends." Inoue bows once then beams at us with her usual cheeriness. "Thank you so much!"

The next thing I know, she stands up and leaves hurriedly towards where Urahara and the other captains are waiting for her.

Ichigo heaves a sigh and stares at Inoue's back for a long, long time before he faces me.

"Rukia," he starts, and my heart misplaces itself to my stomach when I hear him talk. "First and foremost, I would like to thank you."

I'm about to interrupt him when he silences me, indicating that in this conversation, he's the one who talks. I should play the role of listener.

"You saved me. You changed my world. You turned me into an entirely different, better person."

I look at anything but his eyes.

"You're the one who never fails to knock some senses into my thick skull whenever I'm at rock bottom. Plainly said, you're like a ray of light for me." Mirth colours his voice.

How on earth can this carrot-top say something like that so honestly yet so casually?

"Season changes. Years pass. Days fly by. Time will not stop for us." Now he starts to barely make any sense to me. Nevertheless I still listen to what he has to say. "Nothing in this world stays forever. Cliché as it may sound, everything has its expiry date just like the boxed juice in the fridge which you love so much. This fight, too, has finally come to an end."

There's a long, awkward pause following that.

"Only one thing is a constant," Ichigo whispers, a hint of smile dances in his voice. "Even in the next lifetime, or the lifetime after that, or a hundred lifetimes away…"

"…I would like to fall in love with Kuchiki Rukia all over again."

I feel damn lightheaded. Maybe it's because I've lost too much blood.

Or maybe it's because of Ichigo's terribly sentimental words.

Ichigo's face is as red as the tomatoes I saw at a market I went to with the Kurosaki twins when I was still staying at their house. He takes a glance at me and mutters, "That…was corny, wasn't it?"

Immediately I burst into laughter. Life sends me an unexpected twist at the very end, seemingly. Dear life, I love you. With love, Kuchiki Rukia.

"You idiot."

"Is that what you say to a guy who has just confessed his love to you?"

"Yes."

"I pity him."

"Please don't wallow in self-pity, strawberry. It's kind of pathetic. Especially for someone who braved through the whole Soul Society to…" I cough before continuing, "…save his 'bunny-head'."

As if it's possible for Ichigo to grow redder. He mumbles, "N…never mind."

Flashing another wicked grin at him, I quip triumphantly, "I win. Again. As always."

"You…!"

Never before I realised that this dandelion head could be so cute when he's blushing in embarrassment. I laugh light-heartedly as he turns away in a vain attempt to avoid my eyes.

"Come here, you fool." I tug at the sleeve of his shihakusho, motioning him to move closer. He eyes me suspiciously but does it anyway.

I pull his head close and kiss him very, very lightly. His hair is ridiculously soft, like velvet against my trembling finger. When I break the kiss a few seconds later, he looks pleasantly surprised and flushed.

"Our bond will never be broken," I whisper to him as he pulls me close, embracing me tightly. I rest my head on his shoulder and feel him rubbing my back as if he's lulling me to sleep.

"No, never," is his reply.

Ichigo gently places me on the ground and after that, he settles himself beside me, interlocking his fingers with mine.

We lie there unmoving, watching the skies above us gradually turning into a beautiful twilight.

"Look Ichigo, the sky is golden."

He snorts. "You fool. No one notices whether the sky is blue, golden, orange or even violet when they're dying."

"Damn right. I'll stare at you then."

I take a long, good look at him. His eyes are as golden as the Souten Kisshun above us and he's blushing furiously. Such a shy strawberry.

"What?"

"Ichigo, your eyes are golden."

"Midget, I didn't know you're that obsessed with sparkly, golden stuff."

"I'm not. I simply pointed out that both the sky and your eyes are golden. You're jumping into conclusions too quickly, dandelion head."

"Dandelion?"

"Because your hair is as soft as dandelions."

"Thanks, but I take that as an insult."

"Not my business, Kurosaki. Hey, I'm only trying to be nice."

"And you trying to be nice really scares the shit outta me."

"Kurosaki Ichigo, don't tell me that the last thing you want to do right now before you die is defecating. There's something about being unique, but this already goes past beyond the boundary."

If it's even possible, Ichigo blushes even redder, and after deciding that he cannot find words to rebut to my statement, he chooses to groan and look away.

"Leave me alone, midget."

"Aww, poor strawberry's sulking." I smile mischievously. "Fine, I'll leave you alone."

I'm about to stand up and pretend to leave him when he grasps my hand and turns me to face him.

"Ichigo…?"

"Like I'll let you go, idiot." He grins wickedly before moving his face dangerously close to mine. Frankly speaking, I'm stunned. Ichigo being romantic is totally novel to me; I need more time to get used to this J-dorama-worthy stunts.

But instead of the kiss I was secretly expecting, he flicks my nose playfully with his finger.

"You're so cute when you blush," Ichigo whispers huskily.

I whack his head, just like how I had been conditioned to do during the brief period of time I lived together with him. "You pervert!"

"Ouch! Damn it, woman!"

We have a mini staring contest for a few minutes before both of us start to smile, and soon the smiles grow into grins, and not so long after both of us have started giggling. Well, I giggle. Ichigo only grins even wider.

I watch the heavens turn different shades of golden and thank the gods that the last day of my life is also the best day I've ever had. Thank you for the power of love, Ichigo.

I recall what Yoruichi had said much earlier: sometimes it's best not to say anything at all because there's no need to state the obvious.

Neither of us keeps tab on how much time we spend there lying on the ground and slowly watching each other's life slipping away. All the unspoken words have become a mutual silent conversation between us. I don't even think I need to say anything else, since Ichigo would have already understood anyway.

Through the bridge of our holding hands, it feels much as if we're sharing whatever power left in our tired bodies. It's as if we're keeping each other alive as we slowly mingle into eternity.

I can feel golden twilight mirroring itself in my eyes. It seems that it takes longer than expected for the Souten Kisshun to cover the required area. I glance over at Inoue and the people who are helping her—I can feel rather than see tears flowing down Inoue's cheeks. A hot sensation burns my eyes immensely as I watch Inoue did her job.

I keep questioning myself, who am I that I deserve to be by Ichigo's side as we die?

Her voice resounds in my head again, like a replay of our favourite song on the radio.

"Kuchiki-san…please take care of Kurosaki-kun."

Those are the words she has been telling me every time. I want to tell her that I'm not strong enough to take care of him alone. I want to tell her that she's a capable, probably better, guardian angel of his. I want to tell her that she also deserves to look after his happiness.

Alas, fate decided otherwise, or so I think. I'm the one who's taking care of Ichigo until the very end. Sometimes I wonder…what sin had Inoue committed in her past life that she receives much less than what she deserves?

Reality and dreams aren't that different, methinks. I sway between the two chasms as pieces of my life dance in the air gracefully. The barren land which housed our body a moment ago has turned into a serene grassy pasture as the time passes by. I can even feel dewdrops on the grass brushing against my arms.

Ichigo smiles at me and said, "Let's go home, Rukia."

I return the smile he offers me earnestly and nod to sign my approval. Still holding hands, we let go of whatever remorse we had while living in this corrupted world, closing our heavy eyelids slowly as the last pieces of life escape us.

No pain, no regret, no grudge. We're about to lose everything anyway. We only have each other, the love we share and the bond which holds us together. As I detach myself from the last, very fine, strings which hold me to this world, I remember Nii-sama's question from the other lifetime.

"When you're dying on your death bed, what will you do for the last time before you part with your life?"

Now I know. Now I have found out the answer. Never before I imagined that it would be this simple, this painless and this sincere.

"I would like to hold Ichigo's hand as I die, Nii-sama," I whispered silently, half to myself, half to the bitter silence which is watching over me. I paint on my face a smile as bright as the sun which hung high in the sky on the day Nii-sama asked me that question.

Even if Ichigo and I perish, even if we won't remember each other anymore, the bond which holds us together will never be broken that even if we forget everything, eventually we would meet again. I have faith in you. I have faith in us.

I'll let it all go now. For once, for twice…it doesn't really matter how many times. Death really isn't the end. Ichigo and I, I'm pretty sure that we have been connected for much longer, that perhaps we have been connected since even before we met for the first time on that day in front of Kurosaki Clinic. It may take a hundred lifetimes before I meet him again, but in the end, the bond which holds us together will stay true nonetheless.

Did I tell him that he's also the only constant in my ever-changing, capricious life? No, evidently, I didn't. He would have known anyway without a need for me to say a word.

"I'll be waiting for you at the front porch, bunny-head." Ichigo's fading figure gives me a wink. He looks like an angel with golden ray outlining his body.

"I'll be home soon," I replied him and quickly stole a small kiss before he completely perishes into the air. He smirks handsomely.

"Go back to sleep, bunny-head."

"…there isn't any need to state the obvious."

"Now stop giggling, or I'll tickle you until you're breathless."

"This…is a losing fight."

"…well, you all basically just perish. Into thin air."

"There is nothing else we can do."

"If you need to say goodbye, do it now."

"Boy, love really knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."

"…please take care of Kurosaki-kun."

"Plainly said, you're like a ray of light for me."

"…I would like to fall in love with Kuchiki Rukia all over again."

As Ichigo's vanishing fingers leave my hand limping alone on the ground, a hollow feeling builds up in my heart, just like a jigsaw puzzle which misses a corner piece.

Closing my eyes and imagining him waiting for me at the front porch of the home I'm about to know, I start to hum a distant lullaby from a forgotten world which all of us once knew and finally make peace with myself.

"You saved me once again, didn't you?"

"Well, weren't you the one who saved me first?"

FIN

PS: The very last quote comes from Bleach the Movie 3. If you haven't watched it yet, I strongly recommend you to do so as soon as possible!

PPS: Thank you so much for finishing this story! ^_^