Hi. Hope you like this story. I don't own anything (I'm going to cry in a corner now.)
Kisame was walking down the twisty path to his favorite river.
"Yea I'm going swimming. I'm going swimming all day. I'm going swimming with my relatives." He tried to sing (key word tried).
This continued until he reached a crystal clear river. Jumping in still wearing his cloak, shoes and sword. He happily started to sing again (unfortunately for all ears within hearing distance). A few minutes after he started singing all his fishy relatives kicked him out because his voice killed dear old Uncle Bill. He was the uncle all the little fish babies loved.
Sadly walking back to the Akatsuki H.Q with a pout on his face. There was a sound of a cracking twig to his left. Smiling evilly to himself he was planning to dissect his stalker.
Coming out of the trees were three crazy clowns holding mini knives. Laughing the clowns started chasing after Kisame who was screaming and crying like a little schoolgirl. (No offense little school girls).
Entering the akatsuki H.Q Kisame double locked the door. Looking around he noticed Tobi hiding behind the curtains. It would be hard not to notice Tobi because of his high pitched giggles. Walking passed kisame didn't bother to say hi to him and walked straight to the Akatsuki bathroom.
Standing in the shower Kisame thought about what he was going to eat. After two hours in the shower Kisame's prunny body made it's way to the kitchen. Where he discovered his stash of alcohol missing and a note that read: borrowing your alcohol. Love Hidan. Smiley face. Kisame now sad he didn't have any alcohol he went to the freezer to binge on ice cream.
After eating all of the ice cream Kisame went to watch the food channel. Sitting down in his chair Kisame turned the television and flipped it over to the food channel. Watching the skilled chefs he fell asleep.
THE END
It was morning when Itachi decided to go for a short walk. Walking down the steep hill Itachi heard something and before he could react he was surrounded by demented fangirls and fanboys. Itachi had to think fast. Picking up the nearest thing, which was a stick. He started batting a way the psychos. Until he felt something solid hit him in the back of the head knocking him out.
When Itachi woke up he noticed he was bound to a chair without any chakra. Looking around the small dark room to find any clues of his abductor. He came across a picture that had a young girl with big purple eyes and long brown hair she was really beautiful. He heard the door opening and what he saw was the total opposite of what was in the picture. The woman standing in the doorway had short brown hair in clumps on her skull. She was about 5'1 and easily out weighed all off the Akatsuki members together. She now noticed he was awake and was staring straight at him with purple eyes that were to small for her face. Itachi swears that her left eye twitched.
"Well hello gorgeous, what brings you here? Are you here to have some fun?" She asked trying to be seductive.
'I was dragged here you crazy bitch' Itachi thought with a sour look.
"Oh come on what's with that look." She said walking towards him while trying to swing her hips.
'Oh man what did I do to deserve this, okay so I killed a few billion people, and six of those people don't count because they asked me to.' Itachi thought while the woman got closer and closer.
"Well cutie I think its about time I had some fun." The fat lady said while taking off her clothes. She had some trouble with her pants so she tore them off.
Standing in front of Itachi only in her underwear the woman started to dance causing her rolls of fat to jiggle. Itahi fainted from the site.
"Oh well. I can still have my fun." The crazy lady said.
THE END.
Deidara was busy making clay sculptures when Tobi came running into his room.
"Look what Tobi found Deidara." Tobi said holding up a squished flower for Deidara to see.
"Piss off." Deidara grunted not even bothering to look.
"Okay Deidara Tobi will go toilet." Tobi said releasing his bladder in Deidara's room.
"Tobi get the fuck out of my room." Deidara shouted.
"Deidara be nice to Tobi." Pein shouted at him. Deidara was stuttering something unintelligent while Tobi was crying and Pein had an angry look on his face.
"But he pissed in my room." Deidara said with a smug look on his face.
"Only because he asked Tobi to." Tobi said still crying.
"I don't care." Pein said, walking away.
Deidara continued to sculpt while Tobi happily drew on Deidara's wall and sang. Deidara could slowly feel himself lose his sanity. But before all his sanity was lost he had an idea.
"Tobi do you want to play a game." Deidara asked with a huge smile on his face.
"Yes Tobi wants to play a game." Tobi said jumping up and down.
"Okay go hide." Deidara said still smiling.
"Tobi will go hide." He said running out of the room.
Tobi hide behind the curtain. 'Tobi is a genius'. He thought to himself while he giggled to himself. Ten minutes later (an eternity to Tobi) Kisame came home and just walked past Tobi. 'Deidara will never find me' Tobi thought.
(Four hours later.)
Deidara had completed seven sculptures which where three roses, two tigers and two wolves (3+2+2= 7). Tobi was still hiding.
THE END.
Hidan had a plan to steal Kazuku beloved money. How you may ask yourself well he was going to need a big distraction and he was going to need to be super sneaky. And why you ask would he risk his immortal life well he was really horny.
Hidan was trying to figure out what or who could be his distraction. Thinking really hard about it there was only one person who would be stupid enough to help . . . Tobi.
'Now for the hard part finding him.' Hidan thought while walking through the empty corridor. Going to Deidara's room.
"Where's Tobi." He asked.
Deidara just shrugged his shoulders. While concentrating on his sculpture. 'Wow that was a really big help.' Hidan thought walking away to go and search for the idiot, I mean Tobi. Searching 1/8 of the base he still hadn't found Tobi. So Hidan thought it was a good idea to get drunk and search the rest of the base. Going to the kitchen he stole Kisame's alcohol. He remembered to leave a little note. Staggering around the base he finally found Tobi hiding behind the curtain.
"Tobi, there you are" Hidan shouted.
"Hi Hidan. Tobi is a good boy." Tobi replied quickly forgetting the game he and Deidara were playing.
"I need you're help little buddy." Hidan said still shouting.
"Okay. Tobi will help you." Tobi said enthusiastically.
"Good." Hidan replied and then started to laugh evilly.
"You know what to do Tobi." Hidan asked not shouting anymore.
"Yes Tobi does." Tobi replied.
Tobi ran into Kazuku's room. Kazuku was counting his big wad of money.
"Hi Kazuku." Tobi said very loudly.
"Tobi, you made me lose count. Now I'll have to start all over again." Kazuku said annoyed. 'Oh how I hate people.' Kazuku thought looking at Tobi who was currently jumping on his bed.
"Tobi knows what will make you feel better." 'You leaving' Kazuku thought hopefully.
"Tobi will tell you jokes." Tobi said.
"No Tobi it's okay you just leave." Kazuku said still hopeful.
"Okay" Tobi said running out of Kazuku's room.
'Oh thank you god' Kazuku thought and started to count his big wad of money for the second time.
"That wasn't part of the plan." Hidan said to himself as he watched Tobi running down the corridor.
THE END.
Zetsu was looking in his fridge for his breakfast. Only to find his fridge was empty. No eyeballs, no brains, no severed heads, no severed legs, no severed arms, no torsos, no internal organs or anything for that matter. Zetsu was going to cry until he realized there was a whole group of people he could eat. 'now to find the perfect one.' Zetsu thought with a creepy smile.
"Kisame" Zetsu asked himself. "No, he's to tough, not to mention he smells like a month old fish." He replied to himself.
"Itachi" Zetsu asked himself. "No, to sour" He told himself.
"Deidara" Zetsu asked himself. "No, he'll taste like clay. He replied to himself.
"Tobi" Zetsu asked himself. "No, we might get his dumbness." He told himself.
"Hidan" Zetsu asked himself. "No, he drinks to much alcohol." He replied to himself.
"Kazuku" Zetsu asked himself. "No, he's to sewn together." He told himself.
"Pein" Zetsu asked himself. "No, someone will notice he's missing." He replied to himself.
"Konan" Zetsu asked himself. "No, Pein will kill me." He told himself.
"Sasori" Zetsu asked himself. "Yes, he's perfect."
Sasori was in his room making his latest creation perfect. His nimble hands worked to fix the joint of the elbow. (Did you know female and male have slight different skeleton, including a different elbow angle. On with the story.) Hearing the door open he turned around to see that no one was there. Turning around Sasori bumped into a hard chest before he could do anything about it the person had wrapped their arm around him trapping Sasori's arms to his body. He then felt a mouth on his neck.
Zetsu was in his room crying. 'I can't believe I forgot he was a puppet.' Zetsu thought to himself while picking splinters out of his tongue. 'And I'm still hungry.' He said crying more.
THE END.
Pein woke up with a very painful erection. He silently prayed that Konan would be in the mood. Turning to his right Pein gently poked Konan awake.
"Morning baby." He said as sweetly as he could.
Konan just stared at him with the look that could kill anything.
"Did you have a good sleep?" Pein asked moving closer to her warm body.
"Yes until it was interrupted." She replied rolling over so she wasn't facing him.
"Don't be like that I needed your help." Pein said placing his arms around her slim waist and pulling her close to him so she could feel his erection.
"Mmmmm." Konan moaned lightly.
"So will you help me." Pein asked while nibbling on her ear.
"No." Konan said a few agonizing minutes later.
"Why not." Pein asked pouting slightly.
"Simple. You woke me up." Konan said angrily. Five minutes later she was asleep.
Pein got up thinking a walk would help. He heard Deidara yelling and thought it would be fun to make him as miserable as he was. So after he talked to Deidara he felt better but only a little bit.
So he decided to be nice to Konan and hoped she'd be nice in return.
Making her favourite breakfast Pein woke up Konan for the second time that morning. Pein was grateful that she was happily eating.
"Pein I'm really sorry about this morning. I want to make it up to you." Konan said looking at her half eaten breakfast.
"Really." Pein said surprised.
"Yep." Konan replied happily.
THE END.
Thanks to anyone who reviews .