"Faster than the speed of light, I'm holding on, I'm holding tight."
Desideratum (something desired as essential)
/ /
In Tori Vega's backyard there is a large stretch of just green grass. Other than that it seemed to be completely dead. But twigs still snapped when no one was there and odd sounds came out of nowhere (run.)
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For Tori's eighth birthday she was told by her parents that she would never be loved and that they would never love her.
Ever since then she desired the need for perfection (sing. act. dance. perform. you can do anything. you're better than trina will ever be. shine on.)
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Her parents send Trina to Hollywood Arts and they send Tori to some crappy public school far away from home.
She swears to run away and she does for about twenty minutes until she gets scared and runs back (twigs are snapping and you want to go home for the first time in your life.)
Tori runs back and hugs Trina hard and whispers I was so scared and for once Trina hugs her back and she feels at comfort and she feels happy that her sister's here for her for once (but how long will that last?) She doesn't know.
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Trina can't make it to Hollywood Art's talent show because her tongue swelled up and they practically shove Tori onto the stage and she looks ohsogood with her pretty pink lipstick and short glittery dress and high heels and she looks so perfect and it's like the perfect fucking fairytale she's been waiting for.
And then suddenly everyone knows her name and it's like a dream come true and everyone loves her because she's so perfect and she's been accepted to Hollywood Arts (now it's her time to shine.)
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Hollywood Arts is like it's made for Tori (she thinks so anyway.) Everyone dances in the hallways and wears the prettiest clothes and the highest heels and the most manicured fingers. And she thinks Andre&Beck&Cat&Robbie&andevenJade are her best friends forever (because they're just as amazing.)
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Her first kiss with Beck is so fucking amazing and he tastes like cigarettes and chocolate ice cream and desire. (but she's knows it's wrong because jade's right there and she looks so hurt.)
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The second time Beck&Tori kiss is when she's leaned up against his car door and her hair's perfect and she's wearing those super tight jeans and he leans over and kisses her (it feels more right this time when no one's staring.)
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run, girl, run.
Walking through her backyard seemed normal until twigs started snapping and birds fluttered, flying out of trees and into the sky (flyaway.)
She starts running (it feels like she's running away from life.)
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Tori and Beck fuck so many times she looses count. She knows not being the good little Christian girl she's supposed to be, but the feeling of Beck running his hand up her skirt makes her think she doesn't really care about anything at all. He's like her drug. He's her essential.
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Jade finds about Tori&Beck and suddenly it's like Tori's the nobody she used to be (no one talks to her anymore.) Whispers follower her with words like slut and whore. Suddenly she wants to be invisible and cries with her sister every night (because Trina's all she's got now.)
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Tori's just barely nineteen when she moves to Baltimore (they call it charm city.) She can stand on piers looking out at the harbor and go to lemonade stands and strut down cobblestone streets along the water (it was everything Hollywood wasn't.) She can see the Domino Sugars sign from her bedroom window, but she kind of misses the Hollywood sign.
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It's her first winter in Baltimore and she actually sees real thick snow (it's prettier than she thought it would be) and she sits a small shop sipping coffee and flipping through Vogue when she sees him walk in (it's Beck&omigosh she just fell in love all over again.)
Maybe they got a second chance.
Omigod that was like horrible. :( ugh. I'm sorry for it's overall crappiness.