Note: This is a Pendragon…thing. It's not quite a fan fiction, since it has virtually nothing to do with the story whatsoever. But that's just fine, because I'd rather not besmirch D.J. MacHale's story and get lynched by you guys for it. You know who you are.
(Enter Figgis)
"Hdhgoanfbaofhsonb."
(Sign flashes: insert SD brand hearing aids)
"Good evening, Hallans, one and all! Do you often find yourself pressed for time when tasked with knocking down a wall or small business establishment?"
(Murmurs of agreement from audience)
"Well, then, what do you plan to do about it? Well? WHAT?!"
(Several audience members shrug. Some lack hearing aids)
"I'll tell you what you do about it! You get new Sticky Tak! What's Sticky Tak, you ask? I'll show you! Here is our test subject, brought out by the lovely Nevva Winter!"
(Nevva brings out a frightened looking Klee and leads him into a glass looking box)
"Now, I'm going to show you what Sticky Tak does to filthy, useless animals. Drop the Sticky Tak!"
(Audience gasps when small red speck decimates Klee)
"Yes, ladies and gentleman, this is what just a pinprick of Tak is capable of! But you will be getting much more than a prick. You, my friends, will be receiving a brick of Sticky Tak free of charge! If you aren't satisfied with the amount of destruction, be it too little, too much, or outlawed, just dump water on it!"
(Audience member stands up)
"But how does this Sticky Tak stuff work?"
"I'll tell ya! All it has to do it make contact with something and it explodes! A piece the size of your thumbnail can turn your back room into the patio you've always wanted!"
(Audience oohs and aahs)
"Now, if you are satisfied with your Sticky Tak, all it takes to get more is three easy payments of $19.99...andcompleteutterallegiancetoSaintDane."
(Man stands up again)
"Wait, what was that last bit?"
(Speck of Sticky Tak decimates man)
"Now, who wants some Sticky Tak?!"
Announcer: That's right! It's new Sticky Tak! It can do loads of things!
1. Renovate your house
2. Give it to your friends
3. Use it on your enemies
4. Grow overprotective house plants
The list goes on! If you want your Sticky Tak, just call 1-800-SNT-DANE or go to .org. Remember, double click for the bomb that sticks!