I went up the stairs to my office. I felt deprived. I didn't know why or what I was deprived of. My wife called to me as I opened the door to my office.

"Carlisle?" she called. "Did you want to go over to you r son's place tonight. They want to go hunting with us."

"Um…sure." I called back. I could use some…blood. I hated saying that. Why couldn't it just be dinner?

"Carlisle?" she called again

"yes dear?" I sighed as she ran up the stairs.

"Are you alright?" Her face puzzled.

"perfect." I smiled at her.

"your lying"

"no really. I'm ok."

"alright." She sighed as she glanced at me.

"I'm going to get dressed. I think you should get out of that uniform." I noticed I was still wearing my lab coat. Esme walked out. She didn't even throw me that smile I loved. I stepped into my office. There was loud crunching sound. I looked down. A piece of paper. I groaned and bended down to picked it up.

"GRANDPA!" a familiar voice shouted. Renesemee. I looked up.

"Hey! What's up sweetie? How's my favorite little granddaughter?" I smiled. This made me feel better.

"Grandpa. I'm you ONLY granddaughter." She snickered. She was so smart.

"Yes well. If I had more I'm sure you would be my favorite." She smiled at me. I pulled her into a big hug. Her curls swayed. I smelt the smell of her sweet blood. My mouth watered. I frowned. I can't believe this happened. I let go of her imminently. Her eyes focused on me. Noticing my concern.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"nothing. Um why don't you go see grandma. Im sure she has something for you to eat. And she would like to see you." My eyes unfocased from her chocolate brown pools of beauty. Staring off into space.

"Ok." She sighed."I'm kinda hungry anyway." She turned away and walked slowly out the door.

"you sure your ok?" she asked again. Turning around to see my face.

"yes sweetie."I tried to smile. "I just have something I would like to do. I will be down as soon as I'm done." Renesemee smiled. I was sure she didn't believe me but she turned and walked out the white wooden door. I heard her footsteps dancing down the stairs.

"Grandma!" she yelled. "Can you please make me a sandwich? I'm a little hungry."

"Sure honey. What kind would you like?" I heard a smile on her face. I still stood there stunned at the way I acted. Only younger vampires did this. I could not remind myself of the final day I have craved human blood.

"There's something I want to show you, grandma." There was silence. I stood up and walked to the black leather loveseat I had put in my office . I put my feet flat on the floor and put my elbows on top of them. Then I set my head in my hands and sat there, stunned. I remembered Bella, my newest daughter , asking me on the phone from Isle Esme asking me if vampires could go into shock. I strictly knew the answer to that now.

"oh. Um. Renesmee I'm going to go talk to grandpa. Its ok." It sounded like her smile faded into a deep frown. "Heres your sandwich."

"thanks Grandma. Is grandpa ok?"

"yes honey. Don't worry." Esme slid up the stairs. I was still looking down at my brown rug. It reminded me of Renesemee and what happened. I snarled at my reaction. Esme was already in my room. I hadn't noticed it before.

"Carlisle. What happened." Her voice slightly worried. " You didn't like your surprise?" My teeth clenched together.

"I loved it. Its what I thought about her. What I almost did." I hissed threw my teeth.

"well. What did you think?" She asked sitting down next to me. I moved m head to look a her. Still keeping it in my hands.

" I thought about drinking her blood. What kind of grandfather am I."

" A goo-"

" I almost killed her Esme! All those bleeding people at the hospital and I almost kill her! I'm discussed at myself. My own granddaughter." I snarled threw my teeth which were even tighter now.

"Carlisle! Don't you dare say that! Look at your eyes. They are pitch black. And when was the last time you had…you know." I gazed back at the floor. Going deep into my mind. I counted the weeks.

One, two, three…four.

"about four." I sighed.

"wow. You see now. Go hunt. Then come back. See what you do. It's not your falt. Now look at me dear." I turned my head again to see her smiling face. I sat up still looking at her.

"its ok Carlisle. Its what we do. Its our nature. I know you hate it but its not worth her life." Her hand went around my head. Fixing my hair. I smiled unsurely. I pulled her body to me. Hugging her tightly. I kissed her lips. She kissed back. Our lips morphed into one. Me and her. Forever, with the rest of my dearest family. The thing I held very close to my heart. I was like a safe for them. I would never let anyone I didn't trust come in. I pulled my lips away slowly. Still holding her.

"Do you know how much I love you?"I asked smiling.

"Do you know how much I love you?" she answered.

"Maybe…" I said still smiling.

"Go get a buck. Huh?" Her hand slapped my arm. I laughed.

"yes dear." I slid the window down so I could avoid any hazard with my darling granddaughter. I held my breath as I ran from the house. Just in case. As the woods approached, I picked up a scent immediately. A bear. I smiled. That would quench my thirst. I ran faster. I saw the bear. It was just walking along. I lunged forward. The bear tried to shake me off. I sunk my teeth into the bear's neck. He growled and tried harder to shake me off. I stayed on. Getting whiplashed around. My leg hit a tree. It felt like someone hit me lightly. It didn't hurt at all. The bear started to slow down . Its body lagged. Its eyes faded. I felt bad, But my thirst was quenched. I was still loyal to thy lord. I decided to say a little prayer to the bear. My way to thank my lord for sparing my granddaughter. And me.

"Thy lay thee down to sleep, Pray thy lord my soul to keep, When thee wake thy shall be spared, into the arms of my be lord." I whispered.

I took off running again. I wanted to see my granddaughter, my wife, my family. I wanted an old family dinner. But I couldn't have it. Then it hit me. What if I found a way to kill the animal, without biting it? I wondered. Naaahh. Its ok. We shall find another way to spend old fashion time. A game? A movie? Christmas wasn't for another few months. Something we could all do together. Maybe we could all go to Isle Esme! Me, Jasper, Edward, and Emmett could go tare a few walls down. I would leave the girls home so it would be a surprise. I was almost home now. My house in the distance holding my dear family. Or, a better word, My endless life.