Title: Long Overdue
This is one of my longer one-shots, but surprisingly it only took me a little while to write this (this is thanks to all my reviewers).
Read and Enjoy!
"Do you want us to come with you…?" Usopp asked hesitantly, eyes shifting between looking at his captain and the bright, green grass of the island they had just arrived at. Inwardly, he (and the rest of the crew) wanted nothing more than to go with Luffy and offer any comfort that he would need. But on the other hand they wanted to give Luffy privacy; he was visiting his brother's grave and he more than deserved a few moments alone with Ace without any outsider present.
It had taken a long time and the best of Nami's navigation skills to reach the heavily protected area. Luffy had made the decision to follow the Eternal Log Pose given to him by Sabo several months after the whole mess of Dressrossa ended. It had taken the crew two weeks to reach the waters of this island and the crew had been relived because Luffy had hardly spoken a word during that time.
Of course, the second they locked onto the island's magnetic force they had been quickly confronted with the island's guards; the Whitebeard Pirates.
They'd watched with tense muscles and bated breaths as a majestic, electric-blue bird made entirely of fire landed on Sunny's deck and transformed into a man with a patch of blond hair on his head and dropping eyes. He'd made no threating moves like Zoro and Sanji and Franky had suspected and the others were more than ready to attack and defend on a moment's notice;
They would not let this man stop their captain from visiting his brother's resting place.
The only one who didn't seem concerned with Marco's (Robin had informed them all quietly) presence was Luffy and he even seemed at ease. The tension deflated quickly however when the blond man gave Luffy a small smile and a slight nod in greeting,
"I was wondering when you'd show up."
Luffy gave them a slight smile, "Nah, it's okay I won't take long."
Nami frowned slightly, "Don't worry about us, take as long as you want." Hell, if her captain wanted to stay a month, then they'd stay a month without complaint. Luffy needed this, and she wouldn't dare deny him.
"The grave isn't far from here, but I'll show you the way." Marco offered, giving the green-haired swordsmen (who seemed to be the First Mate) a reassuring look, it didn't take a genius to see that despite his lack of aggression that the Straw Hats didn't quite trust him. Not that he blamed them, he understood how they felt.
He'd once felt the same way.
Of course, he would never dream of hurting Straw Hat. That would be a smear on Ace's memory, the slight raven haired boy was Ace's last will and he wouldn't dare harm him. Besides, he was Ace's little brother, he was family.
Wordlessly, Luffy hopped off the ship and headed inland, Marco right next to him.
Luffy had waited weeks to stand in front of his brother's grave and now that he was here, he was at a loss at what to do or say. Over the course of his two years of training he was constantly plagued with words and feelings and thoughts that never got to say to Ace, and now that he was finally here he couldn't think of a single thing to say or do.
Luffy looked over the two (Ace's first) graves with a critical eye. The headstone was gray and light in color, no chips or cracks visible in the stone, no dust was layering the grave and there were endless fresh white flowers littering both graves; someone(s) visited the site constantly and it was obvious that during every visit the markers were cleaned and new flowers were (lovingly) placed.
He noted that where his brother's name was engraved there was a worn newspaper pinned; on the front page in large letters it read 'STRAW HAT PIRATES RETURN' (had Sabo put that there? Marco?) and right under that was a small create with three sake cups and a full bottle of sake next to them (the same one used in their brotherhood ceremony!). His Nii-chan's signature orange cowboy hat and hunting knife were crossed over in front of the grave stone; neither item had a tear or any kind of wear on it like the headstone.
He felt his eyes well up with tears and his heart swelled with relief and happiness because there was no doubt in his mind that his big brother was dearly loved. And that realization made him happy because Ace, who believed that no one in their right mind (except Sabo and Luffy) could ever love or want a monster like him had found a family that loved and cherished him just as much as his brothers did.
Luffy couldn't even begin to imagine how relived and happy Ace was. How elated he must have felt, finding a ship full of people that loved him no matter who his father was and accepted him as he came. People, other than Luffy, who gave him a reason to want to live.
His heart swelled again; this time with anguish because god dammit, Ace had finally found his answer, his happiness, and he was denied the chance to be happy and free because of who his dad was and it wasn't damn fair. And no matter what anyone said, it was his fault.
He hiccupped slightly and he jolted when he suddenly realized that Marco was slightly behind him (the blond haired man had left him a while ago and had apparently returned). He stiffened suddenly as a thought invaded his mind; he was the reason why Ace was no longer here, the reason why his brother's surrogate family had to bury him and say goodbye.
The Whitebeard Pirates must hate him, he couldn't blame them, he hated himself too.
Luffy turned slightly toward the man behind him, "Do you hate me?" Marco's eyes widened slightly, not expecting Luffy to suddenly end his silence just to ask such a question. The rubber-man's voice was calm, carefully void of any kind of emotion, his dark, raven hair covering his eyes slightly. But he wasn't fooled; he could hear the unspoken 'for killing Ace?' (his hardened heart clenched at that), and despite the ravenette's attempts to appear strong and unaffected, he could see the slight tremor in his body that gave away his uncertainty and fear.
"Honestly? At first, I did." He watched as the tremor in the slight frame increased slightly, "In the beginning, I blamed you because if you had stayed put then Ace wouldn't have needed to shield you and die." Looking back at it now, Marco knew that it was unfair to place the blame on Luffy.
"It was wrong though, I don't hate you now. Haven't hated you for years." He had just lost his brother and father and despite knowing that Ace hadn't regretted giving up his life for his baby brother, a part of him needed to blame someone for the tragedy.
He chose the 17 year old child that had bleed and cried for his lost brother to blame.
After the initial shock and funeral had ended, he was filled with red-hot shame and guilt every time he looked at his youngest brother's grave. Ace had given his life for someone he dearly loved and he knew Ace well enough to know that he never regretted the act of shielding his brother from the devil himself. And here he was blaming Ace's legacy for something he had no control over.
It was selfish really; he wasn't the only one suffering from the loss. His other brothers and sisters had lost their brother and father too. And as much as Marco hated to admit it, the child (he couldn't bear to even think the name 'Luffy') was probably grieving more than them. He had spent an entire childhood with his brother, shared a closer bond that no one (not even Marco) could deny was extremely close and full of love.
Marco let it go. Instead of tarnishing Ace's memory with hate, he would honor it by doing his best to protect what he left behind. Should Monkey D. Luffy ever need help, Marco and the rest of his family would be there, he was family too, and Marco protected family.
"I don't hate you, no one does." The blond-haired man repeated his words; he needed to make sure that Luffy knew he wasn't blamed in the slightest. Knowing that the rubber-man still blamed himself and expected Marco (and by extension, the rest of his family) to hate him for taking Ace away from them was just…wrong. And because Ace wasn't here, it fell to Marco to make sure that when Luffy left here, that he would know that he was far from hated.
Luffy jolted and turned toward the blond man fully, he felt his body release a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding, he was so relieved. The thought of his brother's shipmates (family) hating him scared him, like an extension of Ace was condemning him for surviving and allowing his nii-chan to die. And Luffy wouldn't be able to blame the Whitebeard Pirates or any friends of Ace for hating him, he deserved it. They'd had to bury someone they clearly loved because of his short comings.
And he was prepared for the lashing that he thought the older pirate was going to give him. But it didn't happen, instead of the loathing he expected to see swimming in the man's droopy eyes he instead saw understanding and acceptance and slight affection, and Luffy could tell he wasn't lying, the man was staring right into his eyes and there was nothing but sheer honesty and sincerity.
Marco offered him a slight smile, "If we hated you, I wouldn't have let you anywhere near the island." And with that, the Whitebeard Pirate turned and walked away, leaving him to his privacy.
And finally, he cried.
He let the tears that he should have cried years ago "thankyouthankyousomuch!" was repeated in between his sobs (he hoped the elder man heard him before he left) and he finally turned toward the bigger tombstone and cried similar words of thanks and gratitude because "tha-nk you so much too c…cause Ace was happy because of y-you". After so long of holding in the self-loathing and guilt and anguish and regret and it was now spilling over in rivers of tears and cries and he finally mourned.
He mourned the loss of his childhood.
He mourned the loss of his big brother who he'll never see again.
He mourned the loss of his best friend.
He mourned the loss of life, 20 years was too short and much too soon for Ace to go.
He cried and cried until his throat was to raw and threatening to give out (like back then), words of reassurance (I'll be okay) tumbling out of his mouth mixed with tears, ignoring the waning hours and suddenly cold body, the only things that existed were him and his brother's grave as far as he was concerned.
Hours (?) later, still hiccupping and tears streaming down his face, he allowed a small, shaky smile,
"A-Ace…i-I'm so…ha…happy to be al-alive…!" he choked out, feeling infinitely lighter, his heart felt sore but the void that had appeared after Ace died was no longer constricted with bottled emotions and regrets and it felt liberating.
Luffy could finally breathe.
The Straw Hats had been surprised when Luffy came back a bit before night fall; Nami, Brook and Usopp had firmly thought that their captain would camp out near his brother's grave and weren't expecting him back so soon. They watched silently as Luffy, pale and flushed face with visible tear tracks on his face, walked pass them and headed straight for the men's cabin without uttering a single word.
Chopper had wanted to run after him and see if he was okay, but one hard look from Zoro stopped him, silently telling him that Luffy should be left alone for now. Instead, he got up from where he was laying against the mast and wordless head off the ship. Sanji followed right after, for once not questioning the green-haired man. The rest of the crew followed not even half a step behind them.
They stared at the grave in front of them and bowed their heads in respect; this man deserved their utmost respect, he had given his life for his (and theirs) precious brother. And the reality that if it wasn't for Ace's sacrifice they would have lost Luffy truly hit them. If things had gone just a little differently, then they would be visiting Luffy's grave instead. The very thought made a chill go down their spines.
Just like Luffy before them, they mourned.
They mourned the young man they met in the desert who displayed awesome power only overshadowed by the love he held for his little brother.
They mourned the man who only hours of knowing them, entrusted them with the care and safety of his greatest treasure (Take care of him for me.), none of them knowing that it would be the last time they ever saw him.
They mourned the loss of the old Luffy, if they had been there like they promised, then maybe he wouldn't have suffered alone without nakama. Wouldn't have been left to drown in the darkness and uncertainty and agony of losing his only family and then forced to deal with the grief on his own for two whole years.
Nami, Usopp, Chopper and Brook openly wept tears (despite the fact the Brook had never met him). The remaining four only stared hard at the grave in front of them, faces set in a grim line. They cried words of regret (they didn't keep their promise, Luffy had been severely hurt in more ways than one) and gratitude "Thank you, thank you…he would be gone without you", and determination, "We won't let anything like that happen again, we'll look out for him." This had been the only time Zoro spoke anything. Behind him, the others crooned out similar assurances,
"We're strong, we'll protect him."
"Please don't worry anymore, you can move on."
"Y-yeah, don't worry anymore bro…! We got 'em."
And once they felt they said everything they needed to, they too left.
None of them saw the transparent silhouette of the young, freckled face man grinning widely at their backs.
"Thank you."
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