A/N: Hello! Thank you for checking out my story, I hope you enjoy. As usual, I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, just borrowing them for my (and hopefully your) enjoyment. I don't usually do first person so please let me know how I did! This story might be a little slow to get started, there is a bit of background stuff I need to get out before the fun stuff begins. I've got some interesting things planned. So please read and review! --Em
My last week in Forks. Who would have thought I'd be so reluctant to leave. These last few months have been by far the best of my life. Jacob and I have been quite the item. We made it "official" in February. It was now August and I was headed to Brown University in one short week. I never thought I'd ever get into an Ivy League school. It was Jacob who convinced me to apply. They even offered me scholarships! It also helped that I got a mysterious check for 50,000 dollars for graduation. I know it had to of come from Alice. Normally any contact with them would have sent me into fits of depression, but Jacob managed to keep me solid. I also managed to keep it secret from Charlie. As far as he knew Carlisle was just a doctor, and fifty grand was a lot for even a doctor. Jacob and I were spending what was probably our last evening alone for a long time. My mother was coming into town tomorrow. She insisted on being there to help me pack for college. I told her I could handle it. She didn't listen. I guess its a mom thing.
"I'm going to miss you." Jacob whispered in my ear.
I snuggled closer to him, "I know. I'm going to miss you too." We were sitting at our favorite spot on the beach having a perfect picnic. I rested my head on his bare chest. He, like usual was shirtless. He was running his fingers through my hair, knowing that it made me sleepy. I felt him lean forward and kiss the top of my head.
Before I knew what had happened, he had me thrown over his shoulder, fireman style. He was laughing, "Thought you might want to go for a swim." He was carrying me effortlessly.
Punching his back, "No Jacob, I don't want to go for a swim! Put me down!"
He was now standing knee deep in the waves. "Aw, you're no fun." Jacob whined. He slung me back over his shoulders and caught me in his arms like a bride.
I met his eyes, staring deep. There was always something about his deep brown eyes that always made me lose myself. I kissed him on the cheek as he walked me back to our blanket. I buried my face in his neck, breathing deep. I loved the way he smelled. It was hard to describe. Woodsy. Best word I could come up with. I couldn't help but to kiss his neck. I bit him playfully. He gently laid me down.
Hovering over me he whispered, "I love you Bella, forever and always." He kissed me, slowly at first.
Pulling away from his kisses, "I love you to Jacob Black." I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer. I felt him lay down beside me. His arm wrapped around me, as he pulled me to my side to face him. He kissed me gently, running his hand up and down my back. My hand was placed on his cheek. My thumb traced his defined jaw. I kissed him deeper, opening his mouth and letting our tongues touch. His hand worked its way under my shirt. I arched my back towards Jacob's body under his hot touch. I wrapped my leg around his waist causing him to moan ever so slightly. I loved that sound. I pushed my hips into his. In one swift movement, I found myself under him. His kisses traced my jaw and down my neck. His hands were exploring my body. He began to unfasten the button on my jeans, "Jake" I murmured. I grabbed his hand and pushed it away. " I… I can't. I'm sorry." I felt bad every time I stopped him, but I was scared. We did have… it once before. It was an in the heat of the moment thing. I didn't regret it, I just wasn't ready for that in our actual relationship. I also felt the fact I couldn't even bring myself to say the s word screamed I wasn't ready.
"It's ok," Jacob sighed. He rolled his body off me, leaving an arm draped across my stomach.
The look in his eyes told me it wasn't. "I know it's not, Jacob. But I'm still sorry. I'm just not ready for that in our relationship. It changes too much."
He was nearly begging now, "But, it's not like we've never done it, and that night was amazing, Bella. You can't deny that."
"It was Jacob, I'll never forget it. It was the night I realized I loved you. And what we did really did change a lot"
"Yeah, all for the better," Jacob responded, sounding almost bitter.
" Jake, you know I love you."
"I know."
"Then respect me enough not to push this on me," I replied. I had gotten more confident over the past few months.
"Fine," Jacob responded, definitely bitter. He took his arm off me and scooted away so no part of him was touching me.
I leaned my head back and close my eyes. This was not what I wanted on our last week. We never fought this much before before. In the past month we got into some kinda dispute almost every day. The only think I can figure it's because of my impending departure. Least that's all I hope it was. I'm not sure what he was worried about. I know the long distance relationship thing was hard, but it's not like we were your average high school sweet hearts. Our bond was deeper than that. "Jake." I leaned back toward him, "Babe, I'm going to be home way more than you think. Alice made that possible."
Jacob flinched at Alice's name, moving even further away. "It's still the other side of the damn country."
"This is the opportunity of a life time."
"What about our life?" Jacob snapped.
"Our life? Jacob, you're not even 18 yet! I'm just starting college. We don't even know if we will have a life." I knew what I just said would hurt.
Jacob glared at me, "This again? Why are you so concerned about me imprinting?"
"Why are you so concerned about me going to college?"
He stared at me speechless. We at in angry silence for what seemed like forever. Jacob stood up and reached in his pocket. "Here." He threw a small box at me. I caught it and sat up.
"Jacob, what is this?" I asked him before I opened it up.
"A promise."
I opened the box and in it was a small silver ring. The band was shaped into a small running wolf. "Jacob… I…" I was at a loss for words. It was such a simple ring, but it was perfect.
"I wanted to give it to you, after we shared something deep, something special. It was going to be my going to be my going away present to you. A promise, a promise that I would always be there." Jacob's eyes never met mine.
I stood up and pulled him towards me, "Jacob, I'm sorry. I didn't know." I had nothing else I could say. I was genuinely sorry.
"It's fine." Jacob no longer sounded bitter. He now sounded crushed.
I stepped closer to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I didn't think someone who was so warm physically could feel this cold emotionally. I kissed his cheek and pressed my body to his. Moving down his neck I continued to plant kisses on every inch I could. I could feel him beginning to relax. "Jacob," I breathed. I wanted to show him that I loved him, no matter what it took.
"Bella," Jacob whispered. "Bella, you have no idea how much I want to keep going, but I don't want you to do this all on my account. You have to truly want it. Not just for me, for us. Bella, I love you. That's why I won't let you do this right now."
I refused to let up. I kissed him on the lips. I tried desperately to get him to kiss me back, but he just stood there, refusing to respond. I gave up and stepped back. "Fine." I tried to sound as defeated as possible.
"Let's get you home Bells." Jacob put his arm around me and led me back to the truck.
I pulled my truck into the driveway, surprised to see Charlie's patrol car parked at home. I popped it into neutral and slid out the door. The front door busted open, letting a very excited Renee out.
"MOM!" I ran up the steps and threw my arms around her. "I thought you weren't getting here till tomorrow?"
"I know, but I found an earlier flight that was even cheaper so I had to take it!" Renee was nearly jumping up and down. "So let's get in here and talk, we have so much to catch up on. Charlie has been telling me about a Jacob. I cannot wait to see him again after all these years."
Bella laughed, "I'm sure you will. He was reluctant to leave me today, seeing as we only have a week to go."
"Well invite him over! I'm cooking Charlie dinner. Call him up and get him over here!" Renee's eyes glistened with excitement.
"Did you make enough for an army? He kinda eats a lot. And I imagine Billy will want to come over too."
"Of course sweetie, you know I can't make anything in small portions."
I called Jacob right away and invited him and his father over. Twenty minutes later he and Billy arrived with empty stomachs.
"Hey Bells," Jacob greeted me with a kiss on the cheek. "Your mom's here uh?" He was looking around my shoulder nervously.
"Don't worry, she'll like you. She liked the 5 year old you. And you haven't grown up much since then." I teased him.
"Hey, I'm not that immature," Jacob pouted.
"Quit making out on the porch you to!" Renee called from inside. "Dinner is almost ready."
Jacob perked up at the mention of dinner, "What's she making?"
"Lasagna."
"Yes, I love that stuff." Jacob pushed past me into the house.
I shook my head, laughing at him. Entering the kitchen, I helped my mom finish up with the garlic bread and set the table. In no time we were all sitting around the table.
"Thanks Renee, this is delicious," Billy thanked her politely.
"Yeah, this is great. I know where Bella gets her cooking skills from." Jacob managed to sneak out between bites, well shovels.
"Certainly not me," Charlie piped in.
"Yeah Charlie, we all know your cooking skills are limited to what number you can find in the phone book," Billy teased.
Dinner continued with surprisingly casual conversation. When everyone had their fill, Billy and Charlie made their way to the living room to watch whatever sporting event was on at the time. Renee, Jacob and I stayed in the kitchen and cleaned up a bit.
"Now, Jacob, you better take good care of my little girl," Renee warned.
"Yes ma'am, she means too much to me to even think about hurting her." Jacob responded politely.
"And wear a condom! I'm far too young to be welcoming any grandbabies into the world!" Renee added bluntly.
"Mom, please!" I protested, my cheeks flushed. Leave it to her to be so frank.
Around 9:30 Jacob and Billy left, leaving the three of us alone. Having my mom and my dad under the same roof was strange. This hadn't happened since I was like, 6. Everything was completely civil, thought Charlie and Renee never sat on the couch at the same time. I guess no matter what, there is always tension between exes. I hope that it never happens with me and Jacob. Even if we did break up, I still feel like we could still be friends. He seemed pretty serious about the relationship, and I suppose I was too, but the last time I threw myself at someone I was completely prepared to give up my life. Oh and he left. I know Jacob wouldn't do it by choice, but what if he imprinted, or worse. His wolf life scared me sometimes, of course there weren't any vamps in the area now, but they surely could come back. As far as I knew, Victoria still wanted me dead. What if she killed my Jacob. I could feel my face burning, and my eyes watering. I excused my self to bed before my thoughts got out of hand.
"G'night mom, Night Dad." I said before I headed up to my room.
"Don't forget dear, we are going to Port Angles to do some serious shopping." Renee reminded me cheerfully.
A/N: Oh, and here is a little picture of what I thought the ring would look like. I didn't want it to look anything like an engagement ring, cause that's not what I wanted to happen, least not yet.