Tags: fluff, this was supposed to be just fluff, but I am incapable of writing fluff, so this is a character study, Isaac character study, and since it's Isaac, that means there's mentions of, past abuse, and angst, lots of angst, boatloads, even, rated for swearing
Characters: Isaac, Scott, Allison, Derek, Stiles, Lydia, Jackson, Danny
Pairings: Isaac/Scott, Stiles/Derek, Lydia/Jackson
Notes: Thanks to my wonderful beta, KorynnVictoria! She's fabulous.
Obviously
"Well, that was... that was..." Scott says, panting and out of breath. "A complete disaster." He opens the door and stomps into the house.
Isaac rolls his eyes. "It wasn't so bad," he says, emphasis on the so, meaning that it was bad, but not a complete disaster.
They both flop down on to the couch in the living room and for a moment just sit there, breathing heavily. Finally, Scott says, "Worst... game of paintball, that we have ever played."
Isaac shrugs and sits up just a little. "I say we call for pizza." For a moment he reaches out for Scott but hesitates and just drops his hand to his side. "At least we beat Derek and Stiles."
Scott nods and sinks further into the big, fluffy couch cushions. "We should almost not let Lydia play anymore. Every time she does, she wins. And then Jackson gloats, like it was his doing. Like he ever wins when he teams up with Danny or Allison."
Isaac nods his agreement and starts fishing through his pockets for his phone. A few seconds later he finds it and hits the speed dial button for their favorite pizza place. He orders six large meatatarian pizzas just as everyone else comes crashing in through the front door.
"I already ordered the pizzas," he says and everyone groans their general assent. Without bothering to change out of their sweat-soaked, paint-stained clothes they all just sort of crash in the living room. Derek and Stiles take their usual place sitting all over each other in the big chair in the corner. Lydia and Jackson sit on the smaller second couch, sitting upright and separate but with their arms just brushing. Danny and Allison lay sprawled out on the floor with all of the pillows and their feet pushed up against the big couch. And that leaves, as always, Isaac sitting with Scott on the big couch.
The pizzas arrive about a half an hour later and everybody chips in some money to pay for them. They devour every single slice of pizza in record time and put on a movie. This one is Stiles' choice and its' some cheesy b-movie about aliens that can be destroyed so easily it's almost a joke, which, it turns out is the whole point.
After they've all watched several movies and everyone is starting to fall asleep and thus get significantly cuddlier, Allison and Danny move up onto the couch with Jackson and Lydia. It doesn't take long for the four of them to end up a big mess of limbs all tangled up. Stiles is sleeping, snoring slightly with his head leaning back on Derek's shoulder and Derek is trying to keep his usual scowl firmly in place, but it isn't quite working.
And Isaac? Isaac is sitting on the far edge of the couch because as usual, Scott fell asleep about an hour ago and is taking up almost all of the couch and is encroaching on the tiny section of it that Isaac is sitting on. He's got his head pressed up against Isaac's arm and his hands have sort of latched on to the side of Isaac's leg. And Isaac is trying really, really hard to not just... stick his face into that perfectly shaped crook between Scott's neck and shoulder and place a thousand kisses right there.
Because that would be a bad idea.
The movie that was playing ends and Isaac realizes that he doesn't even know what it was - Scott is just that distracting. When he gets up to put on another movie, Scott whines in his sleep the second he stands up. He tries not to grin like an idiot at that, but he's pretty sure he does anyway. He does a quick scan of the room, hoping nobody saw it, but he catches Allison looking at him. He puts on the movie - this time it's one of his favorites, The Thing, the version by John Carpenter - and turns around to see Allison's still looking at him. She disentangles herself from the pile of people on the second couch and points towards the kitchen. Isaac nods and heads off down the hall. Allison follows.
They reach the kitchen and keep going, moving past it out on to the deck. Allison sits down on the edge of the porch and Isaac closes the kitchen door as carefully and quietly as he can. When he sits down on the porch, next to her, he looks away. She's silent for a moment while she gathers her thoughts then says, "You really need to tell him."
Isaac knows what she means, of course he does, but he plays dumb. This is not a conversation he wants to have with her of all people. "Tell who what?"
"Scott. You need to tell him. One of you needs to say it." She flips her hair over her shoulder and looks out at the yard. He doesn't know what to say to that, so he just doesn't say anything.
It's about five minutes before she says, "This doesn't need to be awkward. I haven't dated Scott for three years."
"The fact that it was years ago doesn't make this any less awkward."
She just shrugs. "Well... somebody had to talk to you about it. And it would have been weirder if I talked to him. So I'm talking to you."
He props his arms up on his knees and rests his head in his hands. "Why do you have to be the one to say something?"
"Because apparently, no one else will. And you should... I mean... have you see the two of you? You do everything but actually admit to it," she says. Isaac is tempted to make a sex joke, because that's the other thing that he and Scott don't do, but he doesn't say it. There's no reason to go making this worse.
"Well?" she says after he doesn't answer her.
"Well, what?"
She looks over at him with a look pointed enough to stab somebody's eye out, so he ducks his head and looks away. "Are you actually telling me your plan is to just never bring it up?"
"Well..." Isaac lies down flat on the porch and stares up at the sky. It's a cool, cloudless, beautiful night where the sky is a dark, inky blue, almost black and the stars are everywhere. "Say I tell him and it all works out. What if we broke up? What then?"
She shakes her head, clearly disappointed in him. He doesn't care. He can pretend like he doesn't care. "Then it would be awkward for a while but then you'll be friends and everything will be just like it is now, minus all the tension and some of the cuddling." She pauses for a moment and her face just sort of scrunches up then she says, "That's how it was when we broke up. It was awkward for a while, but we got through it." She lays down next to him and bumps his shoulder with hers. "But honestly? You and him aren't me and him. We... we were... it was never quite... right. It was just.. the thrill of doing something we weren't supposed to be doing. And when we tried for the second time, when there was no danger, no thrill, when it was totally okay for us to be together, we burned out. That's not what you two are."
He nods slowly. She'd never said so and neither had Scott, but Isaac had always wondered why they'd broken up the after the second time.
All that aside, he wants to believe her, but he isn't sure. He really isn't sure he wants to risk everything that they've got now for more. And on top of that, he just plain doesn't think he can handle it if he gets more than what he has right now, and then loses it.
She bumps his shoulder with hers again. "In the end, what it all comes down to is if you're willing to try. You'll never know if you never say anything." She gets to her feet and walks back towards the door. "But if you could, it'd be great. Because honestly? We're all kind of sick of the two of you. Even Stiles and Derek are sick of the two of you and you know how bad they were before they stopped being idiots and got together."
Isaac laughs a little, but doesn't get up. He hears the kitchen door open and since it doesn't close immediately after he says, "I'm staying out." Allison says nothing, but the kitchen door closes, so he knows she's gone inside.
For a long time after that, he just sits there. He just sits there and thinks. He thinks about how stressed out Derek was, how obvious it was right before he finally just kissed Stiles and how badly Stiles reacted to that because he, apparently, had no idea Derek wanted to do anything more than find a way to get him to stop talking.
He thinks about how they've been together since then, their relationship after that moving from wanting to kill each other, to respecting each other, then to actually going out on dates and acting like a normal couple. Well, a mostly normal couple, anyway.
To now, years later, falling asleep in the same chair together and more or less living together, even if they both have separate rooms.
He thinks about how close they've all gotten over the years, and especially this year, now that they live in the same house - well, most of them live in the same house, with the exception of Jackson and Lydia, who have their own place because, of course they do.
And then he thinks about Scott and how sometimes he feels like they're almost in a relationship anyway. Because they live in the same house and they sometimes attempt to cook dinner, not that either of them can cook, but everyone takes turns regardless of actual cooking ability, and more often than not they try and help each other to not totally burn the food. And how much time they spend together. They all spend a lot of time together, it's a pack thing, but he spends even more time with Scott. From studying for finals, to playing video games and watching stupid scary movies and just doing nothing. They do a lot of things together. And it's just sort of.. nice. It's easy and he almost wants to say uncomplicated, but that's not entirely true.
Then he starts thinking back to how at first, they started out not trusting each other and how most of that is probably on him. He really doesn't like to think about that short break he took from sanity just after he was bitten where he thought it was cool to wear a leather jacket and act like a bad-ass (or in other words, a jackass) all the time.
But that right there is the thing.
The reason he stopped doing that?
It was Scott.
Because Scott, well... Isaac doesn't really know how to define it, exactly. It's just something about who Scott is. It's about how he goes around acting like he's Captain freaking America, like it's his job to save everyone, and he will try and save everyone, even if they're murderous lizard monsters.
Scott acts like it's his job to look out for everyone, even people he doesn't like. Like how when they met Scott didn't like him, but that didn't stop Scott from looking out for him.
It was weird, that someone actually cared about him, noticed him, even just a little. Even now, years later, Isaac still remembers that night. And it wasn't even much, it was just, "hey, be careful" and "I don't want you to get hurt", but... nobody had ever even said that much to him before.
Up until he'd been bitten, he'd been invisible. It wasn't entirely by choice, but it wasn't entirely not by choice, either. He'd always had this desperate, aching, clawing at his insides sort of feeling that told him he should try and make friends, to maybe date someone (he wasn't picky about gender, even when he was human, it had just never occurred to him) but he never so much as tried, he never so much as answered a question in class if he could help it because what if eventually someone found out? What if someone found out that his dad... even now he doesn't like to think about it; to think about what specifically his father did and who his father was. What if they found out and ran screaming? What if they found out and couldn't handle it, started treating him funny like he was fragile and he should be coddled and cared for.
And that wasn't him. That wasn't him at all. What had happened to him hadn't made him weak. He didn't at any point in his life worry that he would become like his father. It just... was how it was. And it wasn't that he didn't have problems because of it; the fact that up until he was bitten he shuddered every time he so much as heard an unexpected loud noise and was more or less incapable of standing up for himself more than attested to that fact. But... he'd seen a few too many movies and TV shows to think that anyone would do anything other than assume that they knew exactly how it worked, exactly what his life was like, to bother with getting close enough for anyone to figure it out.
Because it was more complicated than just saying his father was a monster, and that was it. That wasn't it. His father was a drunk and he was violent and mean. Not just mean in the big ways, but in lots of little ways, too. His father rarely gave anyone a compliment that wasn't backhanded and he almost never noticed when someone else accomplished something.
But his father was also clever, determined and funny. His father also loved to read to the point where his room was full of books of just about every genre. His father also loved swimming. Really, really loved it. He'd watch just about any swimming match, and he recorded a lot of them and re-watched them later.
It wasn't all awful, all the time. And his father hadn't started out being so ridiculously god awful, either. When Isaac was younger, when his brother was around, his father... he still yelled as much, he was still as violent and angry, it was just... it was just never directed at Isaac or his brother. That part came later.
If Isaac thinks real hard and untwists all the details he spends so much of his time trying to forget, he's pretty sure it was a short while after his father got fired from being the high school swim team's coach that things turned wrong. That his father started turning his anger and violence and hatred onto his sons.
And then his brother graduated and left. He and his brother had never been close, not really. Maybe, in another world, they could have been close, but as it was they were both a little too busy fighting their own battles to ever really talk to each other. They never confided in each other, never talked about the things that happened, the things they saw for fear one of them would accidentally spill something the other said and get them in trouble.
Even so, his brother's leaving left him all alone. All alone with no one else to take away any of his father's anger. It was all heaped on him. And that was when it got really bad. When there was no one else around and Isaac stopped having any kind of social interaction if he could avoid it because it was just something he couldn't handle dealing with on top of everything else, regardless of how badly he wanted it. That was when he started getting bruises, not just in the easily hidden places, but everywhere. That was when his father started locking him in the freezer when he was in a really foul mood and wanted to scare Isaac to a point Isaac almost wasn't able to come back from. Isaac had always been afraid of small spaces. (He's still afraid of them now.)
Obviously, that was a lot. It was a big, complicated, sprawling, shaded in dark gray morality-wise sort of story. And he was pretty sure no one would understand it, so he never bothered to let them get close enough to figure it out. There was also (and he hates to admit to this sort of weakness, even now) how utterly terrified he was of his father. At the time his father had seemed like this big, huge, overpowering, all-encompassing force and he was too afraid to ever doing anything about it, to ever even try to fight back. He was too afraid to get close to anyone else because what if that someone would find out and not freak out, not panic and run, but decide they had to be a hero, to be a champion and stand up to his father for him. And that he really couldn't stand. The idea of someone getting hurt because of him, for him.
So he'd never said anything. He would have gone his whole life not saying anything except for that his father was murdered and Scott and Derek (and Stiles and Allison) figured it out.
But Scott? He never treated him like that. Scott never treated him like he was vulnerable or weak for what he'd been through. The others didn't either. Even after they figured it out, they never really seemed to care. They never brought it up, never tried to make him talk about it. They just accepted him and let him do whatever he needed to do to deal with it by himself.
And then everything with Jackson and the Kanima happened and he and Scott sort of... ended up being friends. Real, actual friends, the kind of thing Isaac had always wanted to have in his life, even if it involved deranged elderly people with crazy, convoluted master plans and monsters and werewolves.
And then throughout high school he and Scott just sort of... clicked. They just sort of... he doesn't really know how to put it, exactly. But he'd never really thought too much about whatever it was between them until just before their graduation ceremony and Scott was looking at him and he was wearing whatever you call those dorky hats with the tassels on them and asking if his hat was on straight, and no, clearly it wasn't because the tassel kept falling in Scott's face and all of a sudden Isaac had this sort of light bulb moment. This feeling of 'oh my god, I love you so much' just sort of.. washed over him. Of course, he didn't say anything about it. Still hasn't said anything about it, even though it's become ever present to the point of nearly strangling him.
And even if he does say something, he still doesn't know if he's going to, but if he does, he's just going to tell Scott he likes him. He's not going to go all out and say "so, I've been in love with you since graduation, so almost a year now." That would be a bad idea. Because he wants to do this right, even if they're almost in a relationship as it is, anyway.
But he isn't sure. He can't decide and he's just...
He just sits there, for hours, thinking through all of this. At some point, sometime after the sun rises, he falls asleep on the porch.
When Scott wakes up the next morning he wakes up alone and cold and a little annoyed because he's alone and cold. He sits up, looks around for Isaac and scowls a little when he can't find him. Everyone else is still sleeping where they were last night, with Stiles and Derek on the big chair and Allison, Danny, Lydia and Jackson all piled up together. Why Jackson and Lydia have their own place when they spend almost every night here is completely beyond him.
He yawns just a little and after debating it for a minute decides to go and get something to eat.
He's just grabbing the box of pop tarts out of the cupboard when he notices that Isaac is asleep on the porch. He grabs a few of the pop tarts out of the box, puts the box back and goes to stand over by the window and just kind of watches Isaac while he eats his pop tarts. He knows it's weird, to just be staring at Isaac like that but... he does it anyway.
The thing is, he is pretty much in love with Isaac and he has been for a while. He'd say so, but he's always gotten the feeling that that would be a bad idea. Because Isaac is, well, Isaac has never been in a relationship before. Not that he, with his two relationships with one person has all that much experience, either. But he doesn't want to spook Isaac, rush him into anything he's not ready for.
Isaac's never talked about it, and Scott has no idea how to bring it up so he just doesn't, but he knows Isaac had just about the worst childhood anyone could possibly have, aside from Derek. So he's taking his time and he's being careful.
Because as much as Isaac likes to play it like he has no issues whatsoever, Scott knows better. He notices things. He notices how sometimes, Isaac twitches just a little any time anybody yells really loudly; unless it's in a movie, because Isaac's favorite type of movies are horror movies. Scott doesn't really get that, but he likes horror movies, so he's never really said anything. He notices how Isaac gets this dark look that he tries so hard to hide whenever they walk past a father and his children. He noticed how that one time they went to an appliance store with his Mom to pick up a new TV, Isaac avoided the section of the store where they kept the freezers like they could reach out and bite him. He notices how, even now, Isaac sometimes hesitates. Like he's seen Isaac reach out for him and then just drop his hand about a million times. He sees this intensely painful look Isaac gets on his face sometimes, not often, just sometimes. Sometimes, Isaac will just stare out the window and look so completely torn-up that anytime Scott sees him like that his first instinct is to act as ridiculous as possible until Isaac stops with that look and smiles. Sometimes it works, but other times, other times Scott knows Isaac is faking it. He's learned to tell the difference between when Isaac is smiling because he's happy and when he's smiling because he thinks that's what he's supposed to do.
So, all in all, he worries. A lot. And he knows a lot of bad things have happened to Isaac and... he just doesn't want to mess this up. He doesn't want to say anything and mess this up and be just another bad thing that's happened to Isaac.
So, Scott has gotten used to expressing the things he feels in different, less direct ways. Like helping Isaac with dinner. And always letting Isaac pick the movie they watch. And always picking him for everything, even if Isaac is easily the worst paintball player Scott has ever met. And he's no good at bowling, either. Or tennis. He's great at lacrosse, but they never play that outside of the backyard. But Scott always picks him anyway. And just reaching out and touching Isaac whenever he can in small ways; brushing his hand against Isaac's, sitting next to him, brushing up against him whenever he walks by. Scott tries to keep it on the smaller side of things, even though that's really the opposite of what he wants to do. What he wants to do is kiss Isaac, and crawl all over him, and just generally be all over him all of the time. But he doesn't want to make Isaac uncomfortable, so he doesn't. That's more or less become one of the goals in his life, making sure Isaac is happy and comfortable. Sometimes, he doesn't always succeed at that, though. He gets ridiculously cuddly when he's tired and he can't help it that he always seems to end up sprawled all over the couch, all over Isaac.
He doesn't talk about it, either. He's never even told Stiles or Allison because, as much as he loves the both of them, he knows they'd just get this look on their faces and try and force him into telling Isaac how he feels and he really doesn't want to mess this up. He loves Isaac and he knows that the only way this will work is if Isaac is the first one to bring it up. He can be patient; patience is a skill he has honed over years with a best friend who rarely ever stops talking long enough to let him get a point across. And besides, and he'd really never say this to anyone other than Isaac, Isaac is definitely worth waiting for.
Because Isaac is the sweetest, kindest, most loyal person Scott has ever met. Isaac is always going out of his way to do nice things for everyone in the pack. Like how two months ago Lydia mentioned this old black and white movie she loved but couldn't remember the name of and Isaac started asking about the movie, like who was in it and what the plot was and that sort of thing. Then, two weeks later, after having done hours and hours of research, Isaac proudly presented Lydia with exactly the movie she'd been looking for. Scott knows Isaac spent hours doing research because there was one time in that two weeks where Isaac was glued to his laptop for hours and refused, regardless of what Scott suggested they do, to go and do anything. So Scott had ended up just lying on the bed next to Isaac and studying for his Psychology class. When she got the present, Lydia pretended it wasn't a big deal, but she didn't stop smiling for the rest of the day. And Jackson didn't stop bitching about how many times she made him watch the stupid movie until last week.
Isaac is the kind of person who remembers what kind of coffee everybody likes, what everyone's favorite food is and what everyone's birthday is and anything they've ever mentioned wanting so he can get them the best gifts ever. He's always doing the nicest things, like how he planned this huge trip for everyone after graduation and didn't tell them until a month before. And he's always planning things out, making sure everything works out just right. Like the graduation trip he planned. He made sure it was something everyone could afford to do, and made sure that everyone would be able to go - including Derek.
"I know that look," Stiles says from behind him and Scott jumps a little. At this reaction Stiles laughs and Scott can hear the milk spilling out of the bowl as Stiles pours it, unable to rein in his laughter enough to focus on getting the milk in the bowl.
He honestly doesn't know how Stiles not only snuck up on him but snuck up on him, opened the fridge door, grabbed the milk, a bowl and cereal without him noticing.
When Scott turns around he sees Stiles mopping up the milk he's spilled with some paper towels and Scott shakes his head. "All these years later and you're still the clumsiest person ever."
Stiles rolls his eyes and picks up his bowl of cereal. "No changing the subject."
Scott shrugs and tries to make it as nonchalant as any shrug has ever been. "And what subject would that be?"
"The subject of you and Isaac," Derek growls as he walks into the room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He stomps over to Stiles and steals the bowl of cereal without any sort of word or even a look expressing thank you or anything. He just steals it and starts eating.
"Hey!" Stiles whines, voice all high pitched. He makes a grab for the bowl, but Derek slips back easily and gracefully and Stiles is left pawing at the air. Stiles makes a sad puppy face at Derek, but Derek just stares back as he eats the cereal. Stiles makes this disgruntled little 'harrumph' sort of noise and Derek rolls his eyes and swallows. Then he leans forward and kisses Stiles. The kiss deepens and Derek puts the bowl down on the counter so he can put his hands on Stiles' shoulders. That's when Stiles breaks the kiss and dives forward, grabbing the bowl. He looks thoroughly impressed with himself until he realizes the bowl is empty. He glares at Derek for a second before refilling the bowl with cereal and milk. Derek merely shrugs.
Scott laughs at them but immediately wishes he hadn't because this brings their attention back to him.
"So... you..." Derek starts to say but he shrugs. "I've got nothing." He gives Stiles a pointed look that clearly means, this is your job.
Stiles just rolls his eyes in a very practiced sort of way and looks over at Scott. He takes a big bite of cereal then starts wildly pointing his spoon towards the porch and at Isaac. "Can one of you just say it already and get it over with?" Stiles grunts indignantly. "Also, can we just take a moment to discuss how the two of you aren't even actually together and Isaac is so much nicer to you than this jackass is to me?"
"Yeah," Derek huffs. "'Cause you'd ever really enjoy that."
Stiles puts the bowl up to his mouth and slurps up some of the excess milk before putting the bowl down. He quirks an eyebrow at Derek and says nothing.
Derek shrugs. "Hey, I'm not the one demanding to be shoved up against the wall just about every time we do it."
Scott makes a face at this. "You know, there are things I'd be happier just never hearing. Ever."
Stiles swats Derek on the arm in a 'shoo' sort of movement. "You know, lovely as you are to look at, you're really not helping here."
Derek gives Stiles this big bad wolf grin and Scott tries not to think about why. He also tries not to notice the look Stiles gets on his face as Derek turns around and walks out of the room very slowly.
Once Derek is gone, Stiles starts giving Scott this look that means he has Stiles' full attention and Scott knows from years of experience that a focused Stiles is a dangerous Stiles. Desperately, he wishes that Derek would come back, stupid comments and all, because then Stiles would be distracted.
"So, explain to me exactly why you haven't said anything. I get why he's never said anything, but you? Since when do you hold things back?"
Scott sighs and wishes he didn't have to have this conversation. Especially not somewhere where Isaac is so close, where Isaac could hear him. But Stiles keeps looking at him with that concentrated, laser focused glare, so he says, "That's why I haven't said anything."
Stiles makes a confused face and goes, "Huh? You get that he's in love with you, right? 'Cause that's pretty obvious, even to me."
"I, well, yeah, like, of course." Scott fumbles over his words because yes, he knows, but it's still weird when someone else points it out. "I..." It's weird to say this to someone else. "I love him. But, I think he needs to say it first. I don't... I don't want to push him, if he isn't ready..."
Stiles gets this look on his face that Scott just can't quite figure out. "I can't decide if that's the nicest thing I've ever heard, or the dumbest, but alright."
"Does that mean we're done with this conversation now?"
Stiles puts his hands up in a sign of defeat and starts putting away the cereal box and the milk. "Sure."
As Stiles grabs the bowl again and starts eating, Scott says, "Please don't tell him. Don't try and.. just don't, okay?"
Stiles looks over at Scott and he just shakes his head in between bites. "No, of course not. I wouldn't."
"Thanks," Scott mumbles. Stiles just nods slowly. Stiles opens his mouth to say something, but he just shakes his head and walks out of the room with his food.
Scott looks over at Isaac and then gets an idea. He should do something nice for Isaac. He could make him some breakfast. With his almost completely useless cooking skills it'll just be a bagel and some juice, but it's something, anyway.
After he puts the bagels in the toaster and gets out the juice and some glasses, he walks out onto the porch to wake Isaac up. When he walks out, he finds Isaac is already awake. The weird thing is, when he walks over, Isaac doesn't say anything. He tries not to think about what that might mean and says, "So why'd you sleep on the porch?" and smiles.
Isaac stands up and stretches and Scott notices how Isaac doesn't look at him. Still hasn't looked at him. And then he doesn't say anything, just shrugs.
That makes Scott nervous. He says, "Was I hogging the couch? I'm sorry. I'm going to have to work on that." He tries to laugh, like he's making a joke.
"Maybe next time I'll sit on the floor," Isaac says and there's no emotion in his voice, none at all.
"Umm... well... uh..." Scott stammers. He doesn't know what to say to that. He's trying not to read too much into it, but it sure as hell can't be a good thing.
Then they just stand there, Scott staring at Isaac, Isaac pretending he doesn't notice. In the kitchen, the bagels pop up out of the toaster and Scott turns and points at them. "Um... uh, well, um, breakfast," is all he manages to say. Isaac just nods and walks inside.
Scott follows, his eyes still on Isaac. And Isaac just acts like Scott's not there. He grabs a plate, grabs a bagel and walks to the fridge. He opens the door and stares into the fridge for a good fifteen seconds before grabbing the butter and putting some on his bagel. He sits down and starts eating and still doesn't say anything.
Scott busies himself with grabbing the other bagel he'd put in the toaster but doesn't bother with putting anything on it or sitting down. He just awkwardly leans up against the counter and holds the bagel in his hands. He doesn't really bother with eating it, either. He just keeps staring at Isaac. "Are you okay?" he asks tentatively.
It takes about ten seconds for Isaac to answer but when he does it's with a small smile (one of those faked ones) and a, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bad dream, you know?"
Scott nods and smiles like he understands, even though he doesn't. Even though he's pretty sure that Isaac just lied to him and he can't help but worry that maybe Isaac had heard what he'd said. And maybe he was wrong. Maybe Stiles was wrong. Maybe Isaac doesn't care about him like that. Maybe Isaac cares about him but not any more than he cares about anyone else. Maybe Isaac doesn't love him and really, that was a pretty big thing to assume, right? Scott takes a bite of his bagel and nearly chokes on it. Isaac doesn't so much as notice.
The next several minutes pass in that same awkward silence before Isaac just gets up and walks out of the room.
Over the next several days, Scott tries to talk to Isaac, but for the most part, Isaac avoids him, or gives him some sort of excuse, like he has a test to study for, or he has errands to run.
Scott knows he's lying because previously, even if they had different things to do, different tests to study for or even mundane, boring chores to do like laundry, they'd still hang out together.
And if there were boring errands to run, they'd go and do them together and do something fun and weird and stupid, like see who could make the dumbest, goofiest face at strangers on the bus, or dance in the car to the worst music they could find.
They didn't do everything together, of course, but...
They hadn't done anything together in almost a week. And Scott was starting to get nervous. This was exactly why he never said anything, because something like this could happen.
At the next movie night, Isaac sits on the floor next to Allison and that's it. That's the tipping point and Scott just has to get to the bottom of whatever is going on here. "Uh, Isaac, would you, um, go to the store with me to get some snacks?" Scott says lamely and he hopes no one makes fun of him for it.
He knows the situation is bad when no one does and Isaac says, "Do you need me to come?"
"Um, well," Scott says and he can feel his face starting to burn, he's that embarrassed. "No, but, um..."
"Oh, for the love of god," Stiles says abruptly. "Isaac, go with him."
Isaac frowns and flips over onto his side to look at Stiles. "Okay. Why?"
Stiles blinks hard for a few seconds before saying, "Because we have something to talk about that we don't want you to hear."
Isaac sits up. "What?"
Stiles lets out a purposefully put upon sigh. "Well, if we could tell you, then we wouldn't need you to leave, now would we?"
Isaac just sits there and stares at Stiles until Stiles cracks. "Fine. Fine. We were planning your birthday party, alright?"
Isaac just continues to stare at Stiles. "My birthday isn't for two months."
Stiles raises his hands into the air, a sure sign he's about to ramble. "Yes, well, we were planning on surprising you, you know, but you're so hard to surprise, we figured we'd plan it early. But now you've gone and ruined that and now we might not even throw you a party at all. And you're going to be so sad if we don't because we already planned out some of it last week when you were in class and it was going to be amazing. We were going to have not just cake but cake and a pie. And a cheesecake. Cake and a pie and a cheesecake. And we were all going to get you presents, too. Really awesome ones. And-" Stiles is about to keep going when Isaac gets to his feet.
"Fine. I'll go."
Stiles smiles and so does Derek, but Scott is pretty sure Derek is smiling at Stiles and his utterly ridiculous ability to get people to do what he wants by hitting them with a barrage of words.
Isaac heads for the front door and doesn't wait for Scott to catch up. They walk over to Scott's car and get in without speaking. Scott pulls the car out of the driveway and heads for the farthest convenience store he can think of to give them as much time to talk as possible.
"Okay. I have to ask. What the hell is going on?" He grips the steering wheel like he's trying to strangle it as he says this. He hopes Isaac doesn't notice.
Isaac gets that pained look on his face and Scott hates himself for being the cause of that look. "I... You... I... Just..." Isaac sighs. "I thought you of all people, I mean, you never said anything so I assumed you understood but no, turns out I was right the whole time, this was a stupid idea and I can't believe I was that dumb to think that this was even possible. I mean, of course not, no, I can't. Not me."
For a good few moments Scott is silent and completely confused. Finally, he settles on saying: "Would you mind using more words there because none of that made any sense."
Isaac turns his head and looks out the window. "I heard what you said."
Scott is sure he knows what Isaac means by that and he's sure it's going to crush him when he gets Isaac to talk about it, but he asks anyway. "Okay. And?"
"And..." Isaac shakes his head and suddenly he's just radiating all this anger and Scott really just doesn't understand that. He understands if Isaac doesn't love him. What he doesn't get is why he's angry about it. "And I thought you understood me. You've never treated me any different."
"What do you mean I've never treated you any different? I make a point of treating you different." The unspoken part of this is, because I love you. I was trying to show you that.
"So you're admitting it?" Isaac says and there's no way around the bitter derision in his tone.
"Okay," Scott says, getting a little mad himself. "You don't love me back. That's fine. I'll live. What I don't get is why you're so angry at me. If you wanted me to, I don't know, not be around you all the time, you should have said something."
Isaac looks over at him and it's all Scott can do to keep his eyes on the road. "Wait, what?"
Well, that doesn't make sense. "What?" Scott says.
"You think I'm mad at you because you love me?" Isaac says and he almost sort of laughs.
"Well, then what are you mad at me for?"
Isaac lets out a shaky breath. "Because you didn't tell me. Because you treated me like I was always afraid people would treat me, like I'm fragile and need to be handled with kid gloves, like I can't handle a relationship, not to mention that we're more or less in one anyway. But no, instead of telling me you just sit on your feelings because you think the poor abused boy can't handle that. I thought you understood me, I thought we never talked about it because we didn't need to, because you just understood that I am not what has happened to me." Scott sneaks a look over at Isaac and sees that he's crying. It makes Scott wants to pull the car over and go run into traffic.
"Fuck," is all Scott can think to say. And because he really can't focus on driving right now, he pulls the car over to the side of the road. He takes off his seat belt and twists so he's facing Isaac. "Fuck, Isaac. I am so, so sorry. I didn't... I mean... Fuck. I'm sorry."
Isaac just nods and pushes his palms into his eyes, trying to force himself to stop crying. "I'm not, you know."
Scott nods and for a second forgets that with his hands over his eyes, Isaac can't see him. So he says, "I know. I guess I just.. I don't know. We've never talked about it, and... I didn't want to be another bad thing that happened to you. I didn't want to force you into anything."
"No, you thought sneak attacking with this relationship we're in was totally the better idea. I get it." Isaac drops his hands from his face and he's stopped crying, but his face is still damp.
"So... if I know that's what we've been doing, and you know that's what we've been doing... why didn't you say anything?" Scott asks and he balls his hands up into fists and releases them again. He so desperately wants to reach out and grab Isaac's hand and just wipe the tears off of his face, but he knows this isn't the time for that.
"Because... I'm fucked up because of what's happened to me," says Isaac. He laughs a little, but it comes out wrong and he ends up crying again.
That's when Scott breaks. He grabs Isaac's hand and squeezes it. "Do you want to talk about it?" Once he says it, he feels stupid for never having said it before. Really, it was a pretty simple question.
"Yes. No. I... Yes." Isaac swipes his hand across his face and nods. "Yes."
"You know I love you, right?" Scott squeezes Isaac's hand again and this time Isaac squeezes back.
"Yeah. And I love you too." Isaac waves his free hand at his face. "Obviously."
They spend the next few hours in the car, talking about everything. Isaac stops crying but at some point Scott starts. Because dear, god. All of the things Isaac has been through, all of the things he's seen and somehow, instead of being the darkest, cruellest, most twisted person on the face of the earth, he is who is. He's sweet and kind and funny. He's caring and wonderful. It all just makes Scott love him more. He won't lie either and say it doesn't create a fierce desire in him to just grab Isaac and protect him, make sure no one and nothing ever hurts him again, but he tries not to let that desire take him over. He knows that that's really not the right way of doing things. He also knows he's probably going to screw that up at some point.
Isaac has a hard time telling Scott everything, but he does his best to get through it. He doesn't tell him absolutely everything, of course, but he does tell Scott more than he's ever told anyone before. And it helps a little, to tell someone else, and to tell someone he loves and trusts as much as he loves and trusts Scott.
It doesn't fix everything, of course, he's far from that, but it does help a little.
When they get home, they show up without any snacks. Nobody says anything about this as they all know Scott and Isaac weren't really going out for snacks in the first place. Nobody says anything (but everybody stares) as they sit down on the couch and this time, Scott is all over Isaac. Isaac gets comfortable in the corner of the couch and Scott sprawls out over the rest of the couch with his head resting against Isaac's chest. Isaac wraps his arms around Scott and they both sort of smile, just a little.
A few minutes later, Isaac asks, "So is there actually going to be a party?"
Stiles shrugs. "There is, but that's all Scott's thing. And I don't think it was going to be a surprise."
Scott quickly barks out an indignant, "Hey! Not now it isn't!"
Isaac laughs. "Well, I'll pretend like I'm surprised, okay?"
Scott shrugs. "That works for me."