The broken clock is a comfort
It helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow
From stealing all my time
There was so much I wanted to say to him. There was so much I had to say to him. Tonight was one of the worst nights of my entire life. My heart stopped when I saw him with another woman; her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling at him while flashing her beautiful smile as well as shades of blue dancing in her eyes. His hands traveled down her waist and stopped there. He paid attention to only her, and it was as if no one else was in the room. For a moment, I looked at myself in the mirror, comparing myself to her. Her silk smooth brown hair went down to her back. Not one thing was out of place. She looked like an angel; but the only angel in the room was him. My hair was an ugly strawberry color that went down to my shoulders. There was nothing extravagant about me at all. I was plain person. I had wasted my time dolling myself up. I wasted my time doing my hair for an hour. I wasted sewing the dress I wore before I threw it over my head as I cried myself to sleep. Hopefully it was a dream and I would wake up with nothing to fear. The only thing that could help me sleep tonight was the sound of the dead clock that was broken. The room where I always slept felt so painful and agonizing. Sometimes an empty room could be so loud, and that was one thing I didn't want: chaos. I wanted there to be quietness. What was so special about her? Was she that good enough? Is it her beauty? Her enchanting blue eyes? Does it make him go crazy at night, wanting to see her again? Is it even worth it to go after someone who clearly is head over heels with someone else?
And I am here still waiting
Though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best
Like you've already figured out
I waited and waited, day by day…hoping he would change his mind and come around. Nothing has changed. His arms were wrapped around her waist. He brushed his lips against hers sweetly. It felt as if I were kicked in the stomach, watching someone else with him, watching him with another girl. I wanted to be the girl that he would kiss in the rain, hold onto forever and would never let me go for any reason. Has he even realized how much this is hurting me? I think not; he is in his own world that revolves around his little girlfriend. He is a King, but it doesn't matter to me. I love him as him, not as King Edmund the Just: the attractive younger brother of High King Peter. The girl was only in love with him because he is a King. I have my doubts if this relationship will last. At the same time, I have doubts that our relationship will last. He is my friend after all. Just Edmund.
I'm falling apart
I watch myself falling on my bed, crying into my pillow.
I'm barely breathing
There is nothing I can to stop this pain.
With a broken heart
I felt my heart break into two that night and it felt like it could never be mended again.
That's still beating
However, I am not dead. My heart is still living.
In the pain
There is healing
In your name
I find meaning
But at the same time, I am in love with King Edmund.
The broken locks were a warning
You got inside my head
When we spent our days together, I grew attached to him and I felt I could be myself around him. The best days I had were the best days with him. The more we spent our time together, the more we got to know each other.
I tried my best to be guarded
I'm an open book instead
He introduced me to his squeeze, Katherine. She was beautiful as I saw her with him the other night. I didn't want to open myself to her. She didn't deserve his affection and love. With my actions, he knew I didn't like her.
And I still see your reflection
Inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose
They're still looking for life
As I looked into his bright brown eyes, I began to see myself in him. We were more alike than I thought. I wanted to believe that he loved me, but not romantically. He would never see me in such a light.
"What is wrong with you lately?" He hissed at me.
"Do you think she really loves you?" I wrapped my arms around my chest.
"I know she really loves me; why does it matter so much to you?"
"Because I am trying to look out for you!" I tried to hold back my tears. One managed to escape.
Edmund stepped back from her and looked at me simply. He didn't say anything.
"I can look after myself. I don't need your help." With that he left me in the corridor with his little gem following him.
I'm hanging on another day
Just to see what, you will throw my way
After that day nothing was the same. He began to ignore me while his fiancé made faces at me and when he was not around, she gave me nasty remarks.
"There is nothing you can do; he is in love with me, and only me."
And I'm hanging on, to the words you say
I remembered the time where he wrapped his arms around me. He told me he would always protect me; and that he would always look after me. I was his most beloved friend in Narnia.
"Forever and always." He told me a few months ago. I still remember everything he told me.
"Nothing can tear us apart."
"You mean so much to me."
"I would do anything for you."
"You will always have me."
You said that I will, will be okay
Aslan joined me out in the court yard. We walked around the castle and onto the beach. Everything I felt towards Edmund, everything I wanted him to know; Aslan finally knew. I couldn't keep it all in.
"Time will heal wounds, my child."
"But what if won't." I asked softly, watching the waves and hearing them crash onto the sand. At one point, the water touched me toes. It felt wonderful to get out of Cair Paravel, but for only a short time. "He'll be married to her forever."
"Nothing is permanent, dear. You shall be fine." He shook his golden mane.
"I know like this feeling cannot heal. It's too strong."
"I know how much you love Edmund. But seasons change, the color change, leaves shall fall. You must learn to accept things the way they are. My child, you will be ok." The lion chuckled. "Trust me."
The broken lights on the freeway
Left me here alone
I had no choice but to attend the wedding. I still felt that Ed wanted me there, even though he was acting cruel for the past few months. I still had feelings for him, but he is in love with someone else now. So I had to deal with it, whether I liked it or not.
I may have lost my way now
But I haven't forgotten my way home
I could always go back home, to Archenland; where I was originally from. But it would feel different if I would just leave Cair Paravel after a wedding. Should I go back home? Or should I stay? What else is there for me to seek at Cair? I had thought about it for a few days prior to the wedding.
I'm falling apart
I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart
That's still beating
Peter and I wrote often to each other, saying how much we miss one another. I believed him when he said that he had missed me, but was there something more? Or was it just a friendly remark. When I saw Edmund again, it had been five long years since the wedding. He looked more handsome than ever. His hair had grown a little bit longer, he had gained more muscle, and more elegant in a sense. I looked into his eyes one more time, and there was nothing but compassion and love. It was a long time since I have seen him in this way. Edmund and his wife had a child three years ago. It was a boy and they named him Arthur. When I returned to Cair, I didn't come back for Edmund. Sure I still had feelings for him, but the past was gone, and like Aslan said, seasons change. I had changed; for the better. Nothing stays the same and nothing is permanent.
In the pain (In the pain)
There is healing
I found Peter sitting outside the castle under an apple orchard. He looked peaceful and beautiful at the same time. His eyes were closed and he was humming a song I wasn't aware of. But It was nice seeing Peter. As I reached my hand out to touch him, he opened his eyes and looked at me, staring into my eyes, as I did as well.
"You came back," He said softly. Peter rose to his feet and took my hands in his. "I thought you wouldn't."
I looked down at the grown. He was taller than me, at least four or five inches…but that doesn't matter. He was nicer to me than Edmund was. Edmund didn't know everything. Personally I thought I could trust Peter, and I did.
"I've missed you," his warm hand touched my cheek. I could feel his eyes on me.
"Me too." I lifted my head and looked into Peter's blue eyes. It was better in Peter's arms, it felt right.
In your name (In your name)
I find meaning
So I'm holding on (I'm still holdin')(I'm holdin' on)(I'm still holdin') (I'm holdin' on) (I'm still holdin')
Barely holding on to you (I'm still holdin on)
Barely holdin on to you
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring.