Morning at the Mutou's
Yu-Gi-Oh does not belong to me. Reaper is my creation. He owns the universe.
To the outside world, the Mutou's were a perfectly ordinary family. There was a teenage boy, Yugi; his father,
who traveled on business; his mother, who ruled the house with a well-aimed soup ladle; and his grandfather, who ran the small game shop attached to the house. Two cats, a mother and her half-grown kitten, completed this charming family portrait. (There were other residents, but their natures did not permit posing for portraits, family or otherwise.)
Ordinary families generally lead ordinary lives. Sometimes, however, seemingly unremarkable events conspire to snuff out "ordinary" and hide the body where it will never be found.
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Reaper and his mother were shop cats. Their job was to keep the game shop free of vermin. Mother had been on the job long enough to know that said vermin should be disposed of out of sight of their human employers. Reaper, however, thought presenting the evidence of his hard work would put him on the fast track for promotion.
So it was that a quiet summer morning found him slinking up the stairs to the main part of the house with his latest acquisition. Always on the alert for soup ladle attacks, he slipped past the living room and kitchen, then the two main bedrooms, then up another flight of stairs to the attic turned third bedroom. Leaping onto the bed, he deposited his work product next to the shiny golden puzzle worn by the bed's occupant. Eager for recognition, he gently swatted the nose just visible above the blankets.
Opening his eyes and finding a rodent homicide victim not two inches from his nose, Mutou Yugi, champion of Duelist Kingdom and hero of Battle City, leaped straight out of bed, screaming bloody murder.
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A bloodcurdling scream shot Grandpa Mutou into the waking world with a speed last achieved when running for his life from a pack of Siberian wolves. He flung his door open just in time to see his grandson storming down the hall and into the kitchen in a hurricane of profanity. Cabinet doors slammed open and shut as Yugi ransacked their contents, then shuddered in relief as the King of Games left the vicinity armed with a hand broom, dustpan and plastic garbage bag, a look of absolute murder in red-tinted eyes.
Sighing in relief at the departure of Hurricane Yugi, the elder Mutou returned to his room to change into work clothes. A glance at his alarm clock only deepened the worry and confusion brought on by the banging and crashing sounds coming from upstairs. Only a disaster of epic proportions would get his grandson out of bed before seven in the morning during summer break.
Having gathered his courage, -and his Nitroglycerin pills- he was halfway up the stairs when he became aware of two things. First, the banging and crashing had stopped-a good thing. And secondly, a new sound was coming from Yugi's room, a steadily rising chorus of kuri-kuri-kuri sounds seemingly originating from nowhere on Earth-perhaps not so good a thing. After several minutes of hard thought, he turned and headed for the kitchen, having decided his time-and sanity- would be better spent on starting breakfast.
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Screaming was not a good sound to wake up to. Especially when his partner was doing the screaming. The spirit of the Millennium Puzzle found himself thrust into control of Yugi's body, just as said body was crashing nose first onto a hard wooden floor. The five minutes it took for the nose to stop throbbing and the eyes to refocus were spent reciting every obscenity ever learned from assorted high school bullies, rival Millennium spirits and professional thugs.
Sighting the corpse on the bed did nothing to cool his temper. Though he loved and cared for Yugi as a brother, there were times when his partner truly got on his last nerve! " Honestly! He can assemble puzzles in a raging inferno, face the likes of Ushio and Hirutani without flinching, but one dead rodent has him shrieking like the Harpy Sisters and barricading himself in his soul room!"
Most of the puzzle spirit's wrath was waiting to be released on the feline fiend he KNEW was responsible for this latest outrage. And the little bastard was right there on the desk, washing its nether regions without a care in the world. He was sorely tempted to throw the alarm clock -and several dueling trophies- at it, but settled for flinging random missiles at the walls instead. Yugi would NOT be happy if he maimed the hellcat. Plus, the beast had other allies he'd rather not upset.
Resigned to the fact that he would be in charge of funeral arrangements, he set out to obtain the necessary equipment. A sudden horrible thought made him whirl about in the doorway glaring daggers at the evil one. "Don't summon ANYTHING!!" he growled. Then he stomped out, leaving the stern warning hanging in the air, where it was totally ignored.
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Seeing how the day was starting, Grandpa thought it only prudent to add a little something extra to the cup of tea he had just brewed. While there were no further sounds of violence from above, it still sounded like Yugi was hosting some sort of convention in his room.
In the two years since his grandson had solved an unsolvable puzzle, the former gamer had learned it was best not to pry into certain aspects of Yugi's life. Nevertheless, his conscious compelled him up the stairs to try once more to offer assistance. Stopping half way up-which he hoped was a safe distance- he called out to the closed door.
"Yugi?! Is everything alright?"
The reply was prompt, if a little strained. " Yes, Grandpa. I, uh…knocked some things over. Sorry about the noise."
"Oh. Well, that's all right. Shall I put up some toast for you?"
" Uh…sure. Thanks, Grandpa."
Reassured that no immediate danger threatened, he put four slices of whole wheat into the aging toaster and forced the lever down. That was when he heard the new sound. Someone was pounding on the door to the game shop.
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Rodent removal was an unpleasant chore even without a less-than-helpful audience. Yugi had yet to poke his nose out of his soul room, but the devil in tabby stripes had taken "Don't summon anything" to mean "Let's invite some friends over." After locating cleanup supplies, Yugi's other self had reentered the room to find their dueling deck scattered all over the floor, and one Kuriboh becoming many. Valuable time was wasted hunting for a card that could deactivate Multiply. By the time he found Mystical Space Typhoon-and reassured Grandpa- thirty-seven Kuribohs were bobbing around the room. As for the other " guest", normally he would have been delighted to see Dark Magician had that monster not been showing more amusement and less sympathy than the situation warranted.
Finally, against all odds, the not-so-dearly departed was consigned to the garbage bag and shoved out of sight.
"You can come out now, Partner. It's gone."
Yugi finally emerged, looking rather shamefaced. "Sorry, Other Me. I just don't like finding dead things in my bed!"
"Partner, while we still haven't discovered my name, I believe we can safely assume that I am also 'dead'."
"But that's different! You're not gross and smelly!"
The living and the dead stared at each other for several seconds, then wisely decided to change the subject.
Yugi suddenly became aware of the Kuriboh dance revue as well as Dark Magician's quiet enjoyment of the proceedings. "So …did Reaper do all this?"
" It seems he has 'learned' to combine monster and spell cards."
Yugi couldn't help grinning. "He's a pretty smart cat!"
"I can think of several words to describe him, but neither 'smart' nor 'pretty' are on that list. And furthermore"-
Whatever else the spirit had to say was overridden by a sound more obnoxious than his nemesis.
"Oh shit, the smoke alarm!"
"Oh shit, THE TOAST!!"
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Grandpa opened the shop door thinking unkind thoughts about people unable to read the clearly posted hours. The vision standing before him drove all irritation and coherent thought right out of his head.
Snow-white hair waved in the breeze like a ribbon of iridescent silk. Luminous sapphire orbs gazed deep into his soul. Such beauty! Such perfection! Such-
"AHEM!"
"Huh? What?" Blinking in bewilderment, he could only sigh and wonder why so lovely a creature would be in the company of the rather unlovely Kaiba Seto.
"Where's Yugi?"
Well, really! As if being C.E O. of a multinational corporation could excuse such rudeness and appalling disrespect for one's elders! But before he could give the arrogant young man a proper dressing down, a shrill, sustained beeping demanded immediate attention.
He'd forgotten all about the toast.
Shoving the old man aside, Kaiba grabbed the fire extinguisher from the wall behind the counter and charged up the stairs, guided by the billowing smoke. Grandpa huffed behind him, fearing the scene upstairs would be worse than anything he could imagine. And it was.
In the kitchen, a wild-eyed Kaiba held a now fully discharged fire extinguisher. Chemical foam drenched the counters, floor, toaster, and his grandson holding the toaster. Barely out of foam range was a small army of Kuribohs and Dark Magician with Yugi's kitten perched on his shoulder. The woman of his dreams was looking over Kaiba's shoulder, a horrified expression marring her lovely face.
Kaiba backed away as Yugi's eyes blazed a furious crimson.
"Yugi…"
"KAIIIBAA!!"
Dark Magician hefted his staff. The dream-woman's long white hair suddenly transformed into leathery white wings…
Grandpa tuned on his heel and fled back to the game shop. He thanked any and all deities that Yugi's mother was out of town for the week. Then, he picked up the phone and dialed the number of his insurance adjuster.
The End